Husband says I stink

[Jez2510]

Hi everyone,

I'm 15 weeks postpartum and breast feeding, I also have an older child in school. When I get back from school run everyday my husband tells me I "stink like wet dog" even if I've had a bath/shower the night before. He says is probably from the hormones from breastfeeding. No one else has mentioned it and I have asked a couple of female friends if I smell and they say no. I'm doing everything I can think of to help with the smell. Using Fussy deodorant, perfume and nice smelling spray on my clothes. Sometimes I have to wash jumpers after only wearing them the once because he says they stink.

Obviously, this is making me feel very self conscious and embarrassed. I don't want him to lie to me, if I smell I'd rather know but I can't live in the shower when I have a baby to look after,

Has anyone got any tips/tricks to help with this? I use Fussy deodorant as most other antiperspirants seem to make me smell worse!

My husband and I will tell each other if the other one has doggy breath or BO. I want to know if I smell.

I think I smelt when I breastfed. I actually hated the smell and was a little nutty about it. It's a sweet sickly smell. I think it was leaking milk plus hormones. I switched my breast pads all the time.

If the OP hasn't showered in the morning then it's not that surprising that she hums a little after the school walk. I don't think it's that complicated.

If the OP thinks he is telling the OP she smells to be nasty then it's a whole different matter. If she doesn't like him commenting then she should tell him to stop. I'd want to know though.

My husband has recently told me I have developed a smell he can't describe, he just says I smell 'chemically' (not helpful) I shower every single day, it's not my clothes as he says our washing smells nice and I've asked other people close to me and nobody else can smell it. It could be him, but could also be a product I'm using or hormones maybe. Although it feels horrible having your husband tell you something like this, I don't think it's mean/unkind to tell your partner if somethings changed about them. I was goggling it as its made me a bit paranoid and there's a bunch of medical conditions that can make someone smell, I didnt see any that said 'wet dog smell' do you go in the school? I notice when my children used to come out of school they both smell different, I wonder if it's that and your husband has a really sensitive sense of smell.

Could it be that you smell of baby smells, like milk or traces of vomit or just the smell from having changed a nappy lingering in the air around you? Nothing abnormal but perhaps he just doesn't like the smell.

Men can be arses when babies are born and the man is no longer your number one priority. Sometimes their ego can't deal with it and you find out too late you're married to an overgrown toddler who's never emotionally evolved into true adulthood.

Don't let any nastiness descend into any form of abuse OP. Have your wits about you. If he's making you feel like scum that's not ok. Constantly voicing his opinion that you stink is cruel and damaging to your emotional health and to your marriage. When he blames it on breastfeeding hormones, this could be his way of bullying you into stopping breastfeeding and getting "his" breasts back. If it is this, it's a harmful mindset that shows he thinks if you as a possession and is jealous of the baby.

Watch your back, don't be the frog in boiling water where he grinds down your self-esteem without you even realising it's an abusive relationship. Pull him up on constantly telling you you stink and be alert for other signs of abuse too.

I'm evidently not going to be in the majority here but I think the smell your partner is describing might be breastmilk on clothing. That's how it smelt to me in my early postpartum days when I had oversupply and had leaked at all I thought it smelt a bit stale and damp instead of at all milky - could it be that? Could be a smell trapped in bras etc and an easy fix to replace those/boil wash/bicarb them and reusable breast pads or frequent repeat wear tops etc. still mean of him to say don't get me wrong

It's the morning air he's smelling. It's damp and smells of wet dog. I can smell it when I get in from the school run. Sticks to my clothes and hair.
You're not the problem, his sensitivity to smells is.

Before my sinus infection was diagnosed I had the most rotten smell in my nose it literally made me sick a few times. I was cleaning the floors and pulling off the kickbacks on the kitchen cupboards convinced it was coming from low down (at one point when everything was as so clean I was even convinced it was my intimate area and regularly smelling my knickers!) but it was actually inside my nostrils and no one else could smell it. Once discovered I kept getting DP to smell my face, paranoid that others could smell it too but he couldn't. It honestly smelled like something was dead up there
2 courses of antibiotics cleared me thank fuck

But it didn't smell like wet dog... it smelled like shit

I genuinely think if it's you, you would have noticed. Especially since being 'made aware' by your 'lovely' (very blunt and nasty) dh
Unless you have problems with your nose or your dh's senses are over sensitive?
My money is on the jacket you're wearing or your DHs needing his nose seen to

I had a neighbor.
She didn’t bathe or wash her hair or use deodorant or wash her clothes or clean her house or do anything whatsoever to improve her hygiene.
She smelled.
I seriously doubt you smell, @Jez2510but have your husband take over everything you’re doing and give him a week to smell minty fresh.
And sell tickets to him breast feeding your baby.

He's the only one telling her the truth and yet he's horrible? Get a grip everyone.

Does your husband resent you breastfeeding for any reason? Him concluding that “it’s probably the hormones from breastfeeding” is wacky if the smell is only present when you return from the school run - the obvious conclusion is that something related to the school run would be causing the smell, unless eg you only ever breastfeed in the mornings or something.

I suspect there’s no smell at all or there is a smell caused by something else, and something else that happens in the mornings is making him say this. Or he is unhappy about you breastfeeding for whatever reason and is trying to stop that from happening (this could be unconscious process on his side with an imagined smell as part of it).

It's the smell of cold/wind from being outside. Everybody smells like this to me when they first come in from outside on a windy day.

I see Mumsnet is still full of man haters 😂

Exactly, well said

If you wear a bra with any thickness to it and it didn’t dry properly it could be that. Smells ok until a bit of moisture builds up. Happened to me once. I could smell wet dog everywhere I went and it took me ages to figure it out.

I have a very strong sense of smell and I would say other people smell of wet dog when they have been outside in the fresh air and I haven’t. It’s an outdoorsy, musky smell which may be heightened for you right now due to postpartum sweats. The only real solution would be for your partner to do the school run instead.

I was also wondering if it's your coat that smells.

I have no useful advice about your question OP, but I wanted to say please don't use any perfume or scented products whilst your baby is so young and you are breastfeeding.

I do think this may be the case - there can be an air/wet smell.

Or sweaty milk pads?

Oh he's one of these 'telling it like it is' arseholes is he?

Of course, it could never be him that's wrong or at fault, could it? No, that wouldn't be 'like it is' at all, would it?

Next time he tells you that you 'stink', tell him that - unless he has something useful to add - he can fuck right off.

Some people have a heightened sense of smell. As long as you’re showering daily and properly washing / using a good deodorant sure you won’t smell that bad.

I don't think he's being purposely mean. I breastfed all five of my kids and for that period I constantly had a sweaty smell about me after doing anything , just walking round the house would have me sweating. The under boob sweat got so bad I developed nappy like rashes
So I do think it might just be the hormones

There was another thread about a postpartum woman with a wet dog smell last week and most thought it was bacterial vaginosis

Does your coat need a wash? I get very hot on the school run in the mornings - not sure why but I have to take off all the layer as soon as I get it!

This could be it!

When my son gets in the car after sport at school, he often smells ozoney - which I could definitely describe as wet dog kinda - it lingers on his clothes and in his hair too just like OP's saying

Not every day, not all the time (sometimes he smells of sweat and mud, sometimes he smells of laundry sanitiser and the scent beads if they've not done much). It dissipates within about 30 mins - it's gone by the time we get home

I wonder if your hormones changed your natural smell and this is what he is reacting to. Though "wet dog" is a bit strong? Maybe its his heath issue, not yours?

I would absolutely want my DJ to tell me if I smelled, and I would tell him. I would probably also be too polite to say it to most friends! Especially if they were breastfeeding a relatively new baby.

It doesn't sound like he has form for being a dick so I'd believe him.

I was thinking it's your coat too.