bad sex awards: how about childbirth?

[Elasticwoman]

Article in the Times touched on the literary award for bad sex in a novel. I wondered whether any one has any contributions for a literary bad birth in a novel?

Can't think of any toe curlingly embarrassing childbirth in fiction myself, but a funny one in Adrian Mole, when Adrian witnesses the birth because the nurses mistakenly thought he was the baby's father, so we see the birth through his eyes and then the fun of the nurses' horror when they realised who he was! (Thanks Sue Townsend - a memorable scene.)

I didn't know Australian humans were marsupials as well.

I thought it was her tights Daphne kept on.
Swede, childbirth on tv is a whole new ball game. It rarely takes more than a couple of pushes. Even when I saw the Real Thing on tv I thought it wasn't realistic because it wasn't like my experience. Then I had another baby and realised that it can vary a lot.

Is that why you are called elasticwoman?

I want to read UQD's book

*goes searching...

Kathy - I was referring to the birth scene on the day of Princess Diana's death, not that one. But thanks for giving away a plot twist!!

I am torn, because this place would probably be such a good marketing opportunity ... but people rarely blow their cover here, and that's the way it should be.

Well if no-one knows which book it is, it doesn't matter how many plot twists I give away, does it?

But when they find out.... they may remember!

It's obvious it's going to though, isn't it? I had worked it out, anyway.

Well, when all the hints are given, yes. But they don't start to be given until quite late on.

I doubt they'll remember this thread. They'll be too busy laughing at the very funny bits and admiring the description
Anyway, it's not like it's the only thing that happens - it's quite an eventful book.

elasticwoman - no I'm not a manifestation of UQD (you asked earlier!)

A manifestation of UQD (said quickly) sounds like something they might treat at a GUM clinic.

swedes !!

In the 22 James Bond movies, Bond has 23 vodka martinis, 6 of which he orders himself but two of those he never receives.

Do I get to join the band of people on this thread that noone would want to go for a drink with?

sorry wrong thread

Did you mean to put that on the Random Facts thread, Swedes?

UQD - Yes, sorry was not concentrating.

Luke and Leia's births in the last Star Wars film was a lot less messy than I remember childbirth being. Their mother was all dressed in white in a white room. She lay on a table, made a funny face, and out they popped.

She did die afterwards though.

Kittock - I wonder if she felt the force as opposed to pushing.

That must have been it Swedes. Damn - knew I should have signed up for those Jedi ante-natal classes.

What do you mean, is that why I'm called Elasticwoman? No i didn't keep my tights on!
Kathy6" I don't remember any pushing and panting in Tristram Shandy, but i did fall asleep a lot in that one.

Oh I've just thought. The Millstone by Margaret Drabble. That had a childbirth scene. Made childbirth seem rather easy and something that went on in the background while the heroine was busy describing her surroundings. And i used to be such a fan of MD.

Does The L-Shaped Room have one? Given that the whole story is about an unmarried pregnancy it might make sense for her to actually have the baby as well.

can't remember the birth bit in L Shaped Room (love that book)

I can't recall a single birth scene in a book. Many from TV. I really can't. Are there loads ? Maybe I've just erased them from my memory as they are sooo bad ?