bad sex awards: how about childbirth?

[Elasticwoman]

Article in the Times touched on the literary award for bad sex in a novel. I wondered whether any one has any contributions for a literary bad birth in a novel?

Can't think of any toe curlingly embarrassing childbirth in fiction myself, but a funny one in Adrian Mole, when Adrian witnesses the birth because the nurses mistakenly thought he was the baby's father, so we see the birth through his eyes and then the fun of the nurses' horror when they realised who he was! (Thanks Sue Townsend - a memorable scene.)

I've got a childbirth scene in my last novel! People who know who I am (there are a handful of you) can check it out and nominate me for the bad Childbirth Award if they so wish!!

Tantalising me again with your secret identity, Unquiet Dad! You are so cruel. I bet your fictional birth was crap. (A substance much featured in RL births I think.)

Hang on UQD, doesn't the baby DIE?

(I'm away from home atm so I can't go and check.)

What book are you talking about Kathy? This is a public forum so unless you are prepared to say, why mention it?

Well of course, I think UQD should come out and say who he is because I think lots of MNers would buy his book, because he is funny and popular here. And I think they would like it.

But that's up to him

However if you want to email me at [email protected] I will tell you.

thank you kathy !

Are you another persona of UQD, MerryAnn?

Can't any one think of a memorable literary childbirth scene, either well or badly written?

Julie Myerson wrote a really good one in one of her books.

such a shame I can't remember what it was called.

she's quite good on birth and pregnancy I think.

Someone spill.

There is a play by Bill Naughton called June Evening in which one of the characters has to give birth on stage. I was in an am dram group that did this in our local church hall when I was 17 - in fact, I was the unfortunate one who had to have the baby.

Everybody in the audience PTSL because it wad so quick. Then when the baby appeared the whole hall completely erupted in hysterics because it was so obviously a Tiny Tears.

The birth near the beginning of The Color Purple certainly has an impact.

Of course, Cold Comfort Farm has some good discussion of the issue - don't have my copy here though.

Kate Chopin, The Awakening, I think but it isn't bad in the sense of the OP.

Don't have that on tape I suppose?

Have replied TMMJ!

Cold Comfort Farm has more about preventing what happens when the sukebind starts the sap rising etc.

Poor Fanny Robin has to walk up a steep hill in labour to the almshouse to have her baby in Far From the Madding Crowd and there are not good health outcomes for either of them.

Erica Jong does a birth scene in Parachutes & Kisses. Not quite as earthy as her sex scenes.

Of course - Tristram Shandy!

I remember that in either Dallas or Dynasty, on of the actresses kept her knickers on during a giving birth scene. I knew it wasn't realistic because she wasn't reading Grazia at the same time.

swedes - pmsl (lots) - that was back in the days when TV was proper entertainment

That's nothing. Daphne in Neighbours kept her dungarees on.