bad sex awards: how about childbirth?

[Elasticwoman]

Article in the Times touched on the literary award for bad sex in a novel. I wondered whether any one has any contributions for a literary bad birth in a novel?

Can't think of any toe curlingly embarrassing childbirth in fiction myself, but a funny one in Adrian Mole, when Adrian witnesses the birth because the nurses mistakenly thought he was the baby's father, so we see the birth through his eyes and then the fun of the nurses' horror when they realised who he was! (Thanks Sue Townsend - a memorable scene.)

[Swedes2Turnips1]

Iorek - That is a very good question about the leg-tail flap. I was going to ask Batmother if it was large enough to double up as a snood?

Are legwarmers and snoods still "bang in"?

[onebatmother]

lol iorek yes of course, but luckily Batcave is within Sainsbury's delivery area.

[onebatmother]

lol swedes, snoods always on-trend here.

[TinyTimLivesinVictorianSqualor]

WTF is a snood???

[onebatmother]

leg-warmers less so, impedes leg-tail flap.

[onebatmother]

applauds namechange

call yourself victorian and don't know 'snood'??

[TinyTimLivesinVictorianSqualor]

I feel like DP last night when I discovered he didn't know who Deacon Blue were

[onebatmother]

vs
laugh/cry, can't decide.

[TinyTimLivesinVictorianSqualor]

It's almost unreal is it not?
For some reason the word dignity came up in conversation, and of course I burst into song 'A ship caaaaaaaaaaalled diiiiiiiiiig-niiiiiiiiiiiiii-tyyyyyyyyyyyy'
He thought I'd lost the plot.
Then I made things wors,e by saying 'They'll ask me how I got her, I'll say,I saved my money'
Apparently I sounded Korean?
I had to get the song up on youtube to prove it was real.

[onebatmother]

at you VS, at you.

[onebatmother]

'Korean' is quite specific..

[TinyTimLivesinVictorianSqualor]

I thought I was doing a really good impression, but obviously not.

[Swedes2Turnips1]

VS and OBM - Happy Christmas and happy knitting
I have got three now, pastel pink (with matching leg-warmers), brown and sparkly lurex for clubbing. I don't mind if you steal my look.

[TinyTimLivesinVictorianSqualor]

I think my neck is too big.

[onebatmother]

lol swedes!

I had in mind something a bit less taliban for VS - something a little like this.

Then again, this is very pretty

[TinyTimLivesinVictorianSqualor]

I think I prefer the first one, just looks like a hairnet, no neck problems there.

[onebatmother]

did you mean your neck is already too big to accommodate Swedes snood!? that's quite big for a neck.

[onebatmother]

perhaps a Dickensian goitre?

[onebatmother]

must do work must do work

[onebatmother]

swedes when are you going to do a profile?

[onebatmother]

look someone's done it for us

[onebatmother]

look someone etc part 2

[Swedes2Turnips1]

Ah yes must do profile - with pictures. Tomorrow. Tonight, I am going to a concert in the Abbey, DS2 is singing in the choir. Will take Grazia and sit near the back. Will be wearing snood of course.

[awayinNaeManger]

it's taken me nigh on 2 hours to read this thread LOLing all the way!

[TinyTimLivesinVictorianSqualor]

pink or brown???