The Unconditional Parent -- is this bollocks or for real?

[oregonianabroad]

I haven't read the whole thing yet, but am torn between thinking it is totally revolutionary, and then the next minute I think the guy is smoking crack and wouldn't last 2 minutes with my ds. (of course, he would have an answer for that, another of the things that turns me off about his argument).

It also seems clear that he evaluated all the books on the market and decided to write one with a radically different approach (a discipline book about how not to use rewards/ time outs??? how novel!).

SInce I bought the book on the basis of a few recommendations here, I am interested to hear what you lot think.

I think I need to reread it

you sound like you have had an epiphany, what a great thing to read!

That's wicked oregonianabroad!

Incidentally I've also been having a really good couple of days since reading this thread and prompting discussion between me and dp about easing up on dd a bit, not that we punish but I do feel I have unrealisticly high expectations at times and expect her to be a 'little adult'.

ahhh thumbs up for mn once again!

Is this a first? A 'how to parent best' thread without any mindless violence? I have surely entered a parallel universe?

Origonian - so that things are panning out well.

You won't believe this -- I can't belive it myself! But we have just survived tesco without a tantrum! Gave ds1 lots of choices (OK, you can get out of the trolley, you can choose to hold onto it or ride in it).

Am now of the opinion that Kohn is not on crack and instead deserves a knighthood.

oregonianabroad I'm so pleased for you and DS arise sir alfie

brill news. you've inspired me to move the book from my wishlist into my trolley on Amazon!

I've been lurking on this thread since it began.

I've also been inspired to move the book from my wish list to trolley.

Amazon will be wondering why there's a sudden rush on it

I love this book! Made my DH read it, then lent it to my friend who made her DH read it. We've both got v.little ones at the mo, so most of the ideas are just academic as they are too young to be 'naughty' but so much of is struck a chord with me. I find it difficult to articulate just why it was so resonant but it made me want to ditch supernanny and have a different kind of relationship with my ds, one where he learns to evaluate his work/ideas for himself, and doesnt look to his parents for praise, because hopefully he will know that we love him unconditionally.

Of course lets see how my tune changes once he hits 2!! Im still in the idealistic stage .

Is anyone still about?
It's only been a week but my uber-unconditonal parent glow has faded... am again at the end of my tether with ds1. I know it's his age, but my god, he does test my patience.

OK, sorry i have been away, I have been ill all week and .....

MY SON HAS BEEN AN ANGEL.

really, truly. he has really changed, our relationship has changed, we are all happier as a result.

surely, part of it is him becoming a bit older and wiser, but seriously, this book is wonderful. I was a sceptic, as you can see from my initial post, and it doesn't offer magical solutions that work over night, but if you reflect on what he is saying and take it on board, I really do think you will see a gradual improvement.

Thanks, Aviatrix. Am on the mend.

My copy arrived in today's post. Have got to make and ice 30 fairy cakes tonight but hope to get started over the weekend.
Sorry you were ill oregonian, but pleased things are going well with your DS.

Hi Otherside, hope the fairy cakes are getting iced and not eaten!

Another super day today!!