50 shades of grey is a pile of shite.

[EccentricaGallumbits]

Im only a couple of chapters in. please tell me it improves or i'll have to ditch it.

Whit- it's the same on my FB. There is one woman who is totally obsessed. To write all over her wall that I think it is badly written shit seems a bit mean but i really want to .

Same on my fb, one woman got the book at the weekend and stayed up all Saturday night reading it, pausing only to update her status! I judged

Its fucking crap and makes Twilight look like Chaucer.

Whitamakafullo - They all think Christian Gray is some sort of love god hero

This is what worries me. Do they not see how bad and controlling and hideous he and the relationship are? Have I done too much work with Freedom programmes, Domestic Violence and such? Is it no obvious?

Then again, I seem to be the only one who was anti Edward on the Twilight Saga for the same reason.

What annoys me though is the response when I say it is badly written shite.

I get either accused of being a prude. or shit in bed. or desperate for a shag.

Nope. I just know good porn. and good literacy. and this book is neither.

That's what I don't get, the sex scenes weren't even that great...he tweaked her nipple, touched her sex, her inner goddess did something annoying, he got his foil packet out, she shattered...have I missed anything apart from maybe some spanking/riding crop action?

I was expecting a bit more from the BDSM aspect...maybe it's me that's warped!

He is controlling, as is Edward, as is Heathcliff.....worrying trend there. I just don't understand it. My judgy pants are hoiked so high they are giving me a wedgie

Agree, the sex was very boring. Is it just me or does he seem to be a 5min wonder whatever happened to hrs and hrs of skin tickling, knee weakening passionate sex?!

She got to come once and he exploded, poor Ana no multiples for her

I'm going to come right out with it and admit I don't know what the BDSM stands for. I can hazard a guess at the D and S and M, but what's the B??

Bondage I think

Bondage, fart (hmm, never thought I'd write those two words in sequence).

Ahh, of course!

I had to google it!

I'm not that innocent either

Managed to fob off my copy onto my brother...he wasn't interested until I mentioned the sheer awfulness of the tampon scene, at which point he said he had to read it to believe it!

Have said I don't want it back!

I agree... awful books. If you think that one's bad, read the next two ... or don't.
Not sure why it's surprising that there is "idea pinching" because it was always clearly fan fiction, which is exactly that. Doesn't make it good though. Twilight was bad enough.

If you've read the other two then please tell me, does Mr Grey 'claim her ass' as he's so keen to do in the first one?

MrsHels With his finger, yes.

It's his birthday present in book 2 - she gives him a box with a butt plug & nipple clamps etc to use on her. But the butt plug is the wrong size, so he uses his finger.

Then after all the kinky fuckery (several explosive orgasms for her, natch) he declares "All I really want to do is make love to you..." - puts The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face on the stereo and then they both have more coming-apart-at-the-seams orgasms. Tsk....

I've read all three 'cos I wanted to see what would happen and had nothing better to do, but they are without question the worst books I have ever read (and I've read a few Jeffrey Archers).

The tampon scene - tbh, I was waiting for him to earn his red wings then

Nipple clamps & a butt plug...& I thought romance was dead! I wonder if my husband was disappointed with the puzzle box I bought him for his last birthday

PMSL at this thread! :o I haven't read them but am desperate to now, for the laughs. I like a good bit of smut but this sounds awful.

It's DH's birthday tomorrow. Have I missed the Amazon next day delivery deadline I wonder?

If you want a bit of 'ass claiming' then read the Colters trilogy by maya banks I was recommended it by a friend and it was utter utter shitty dross!! Our friendship is now under review!!

I don't know anything about 'Twilight', just that I downloaded the free sample of 50 Shades and couldn't be bothered to read that to the end, it read as if written by a (badly educated) 12 year old

Just got my confirmation through from Amazon that my copy will arrive on the 21st... Hopefully it'll be a giggle even if it is as crap as you all say!

It is not even a giggle but has been a triumph of PR. I get more excited unloading the dishwasher