50 shades of grey is a pile of shite.

[EccentricaGallumbits]

Im only a couple of chapters in. please tell me it improves or i'll have to ditch it.

I have read the first one, and barely raised an eyebrow! She is irritating...21 years old and apparently incapable of clothes shopping, since she borrows everything, or has her mother buy it.

I might get the next two....

POSSIBLE SPOILER ALERT I am convinced she is going to marry him and convert the Red Room to a nursery.

definite spoiler alert

you don't realise how close you are Catsmamma

but she's still up for it even when running after a toddler and 8 months preggers with 2nd

definite spoiler alert 2

whilst combining a very successful publishing career

if you've read the first then you have to read the next 2, very amusing

Oh god really?? They really get married and have kids??? You mean I have to read the next two?!?!

For the love of god, people stop giving money to the persons responsible for that pile of shite!
Literotica is free and has plenty of very good (and not so good) erotic stories on virtually any subject under the sun.
The shades of grey started out as twilight fan fiction, that alone should put off anyone from reading it.

I'm struggling with it at the moment...I think my favourite bit so far is the Christian Gray 'popsicle'. Yeah, really.

Maybe I'm just a grump because I've so far missed out on all this earth shattering, multiple climaxing sex that is always written about...maybe for once I'd like to read about people having average or crap sex!

And the irony, his name is Christian Gray & his eyes are...wait for it...grey....oh wow!

I thought the whole point of this book was for the naughty bits but if most people are skipping them then what is the point of it?

Don't really get the twilight fanfic comments either.

Oh have just read that it started out as twilight fan fic...to me it reads like a standard Mills & Boon but I haven't really got to the red room of pain yet.

I nearly threw it out on reading the heroine was a virgin...standard requirement for M & B isn't it?

PLEASE read the Cassandraparkin wordpress blog post that BrianButterfield linked to on page 1. It is hilarious!! I would actually recommend reading Fifty Shades of shit Grey just so you can then go and read this blog. Reading the trilogy won't take you long because you just HAVE to skim so much of it because it's such dross. OK I could have done more meaningful things with my time buy hey ho! It's a real lesson in how not to write.

Someone will soon publish a '50 shades of shite' parody, which will end up in Poundland a few months later

I have read (well, i didn't really read the second or third book as much as skim throgh them), and the Cassandraparkin blog had me in fits. It really is such a pile of poo (the trilogy, not the blog)- but you have to read it, just to count how many times 'cocks head' is used to convey any sort of emotion, and 'bites lip'. Of the 3, I found the 2nd one the worst, as it was clearly trying to have a plot. The 3rd one irritated me, but was funny (unintentionally).

And the author obviously realised she had missed a trick with all the bloody epilogues!

I would liken it to the da vinci code but not quite as good. In that it's very entertaining but not intellectual in any way. I would read on holiday as doesn't require you to use your brain. I reallyenjoyed it though have to say. But there were so many sex bits, i found myself skipping through em! If your interested in bdsm, buy the secretary dvd instead. Much better.

Oh and interestingly, the male dom in the secretary is called edward grey i believe. I think the author did a little idea pinching

from the cassandra parkin blog: "I?ve been commissioned to write a whole e-book on the subject. ?Lighter Shades of Grey: a (very) Critical Reader?s Guide to ?Fifty Shades of Grey?? will cover the whole of the magnificent folly that is ?Fifty Shades of Grey?, chronicling the many, many more things that annoy me about it. It will be on the market within the next four to five weeks, and I?ll be sharing the details as soon as I have them."

re the fanfiction - EL James originally published it on the web as twilight fanfic (Ana = Bella and Christian = Edward) and then pulled it to publish which is very much Not Cricket when it comes to fanfic. I have much lower standards when it comes to choosing a (free) fanfic story to read than when i am paying for a book. (I have not read 50 shades. I have read Master of the Universe, which is almost identical except for the names)

a little idea pinching??!!

[[http://jamigold.com/2012/03/when-does-fan-fiction-cross-an-ethical-line/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+jamigold+%28Jami+Gold%2C+Paranormal+Author%29 "- both Edward and Christian were adopted.

• both Edward and Christian have a deep, dark, dangerous secret that no one is privy to, except for the heroine and by extension us
• both Edward and Christian are rich and more sophisticated than the heroine
• Although I find that their personalities do have differences, both Christian and Edward have stalker tendencies and are domineering
• Both Edward and Christian have reddish/bronze tinted hair
• Both Edward and Christian give the heroine a car (can someone please reconfirm this on the Twilight side, been a while since I read Twilight)
• Both Edward and Christian are piano-players (a little detail I found fascinating while reading FSoG until I rediscovered it was derived from Twilight)
• Both Edward and Christian have a loving supportive adoptive family comprised of Carrick/Carlisle (the father), Grace/Esme (the mother), Elliot/Emmet (the brother), Mia/Alice (the sister). The remaining two members of the ensemble, Jasper and Rosalie discussed below.

-Jasper and Rosalie/ Ethan and Kate in FSoG. Rosalie and Kate are both blonde, beautiful and a high contrast to Bella. Kate and Elliot end up together as a couple which is reminiscent of them also being a couple in Twilight (Rose and Emmet).

• Jasper and Alice are a couple in Twilight, Ethan from FSoG ends up setting his sights on the proto-Alice character in FSoG, Mia. BOOM!, there you go, your whole Twilight Cullen cast/ensemble, reloaded.
• Both Twilight and FSoG have the couple following the arc of initial attraction, hero attempting to separate himself from heroine by stating he?s not right for her, heroine pursuing relationship, heroine finding out dark secret, heroine still pursuing relationship, couple briefly parts/breaks up and then reunites, couple marries, goes off to exotic/romantic honeymoon, heroine gets preggers prematurely, hero reacts extremely negatively, heroine still has kid. Hero eventually comes around about kid.
• Both stories are set in Washington state.
• Jacob/José (Twilight/FSoG) both dislike the hero because they want to be with the heroine. The heroine is not interested in Jacob/José but Jacob/José continues to pursue her until he gives up and realizes that the heroine chose the ?bad guy? over them.
• Anastasia is essentially, Bella (more so than Christian being Edward, where there are more differences). She has pretty much all of Bella?s mannerisms. She talks like Bella, she acts like Bella, she says the same things Bella would. She is highly clumsy and uncoordinated, she is quiet, reserved, not popular, odd one out, like Bella. She bites her bottom lip like Bella. She feels a bit like a fish out of water in the presence of the Greys just like Bella feels in the presence of the Cullens. At most she is a proto-Bella but essentially the same character at the core.
• Both Bella and Ana have a bit of an excentric mother that lives somewhere else and has remarried several times (at least twice from what I remember).
• Both Bella and Ana have a father that they love, that lives by himself (is a bit of a loner), that has a great relationship with them, even if slightly distanced. The main difference is that Ray (FSoG) is a stepfather to Ana, while Charlie (Twilight) is blood father to Bella.
• Both Charlie and Ray have a love of fishing.
• Both stories feature a stalker (Lauren/Leila) who stalks Bella/Ana and wants to hurt/kill her.
• Jasper and Rose pretend to be twins in Twilight. Ethan and Kate (their parallels) are twins in FSoG."]]

(from the comments of the blog post)

Read a few pages of the smutty bits and don't see why people would flock to this rather than Jackie Collins or Jilly Cooper. The sex was so ridiculous it read like it was written by a couple of teenage girls. Tis bollocks

Fifty Shades of Shite is as awful as the books it is ripped off based on.

i got the free sample to my kindle. shite.

Just finished it & it's going straight to the charity shop...absolute tosh.

Something to look forward to

I've just finished it! The ending was the best bit! It's utter tripe.

Please don't let Robert Pattinson be cast as Christian Grey.

Didn't you feel like the ending was a bit rushed though, like she didn't really know what to do next?

I guess this isn't the thread to ask if anyone wants my copy?

Save them for November 5th there must be a bonfire near us all somewhere

Mmmmmm Robert Pattinson in saucy S&M role!!!

My partner saw Cosmopolis this week and said "you'd love it, you get to see someone put their finger up Robert Pattinson's bum."

I appear to be the only one on FB who doesn't like it sob

They all think Christian Gray is some sort of love god hero