50 shades of grey is a pile of shite.

[EccentricaGallumbits]

Im only a couple of chapters in. please tell me it improves or i'll have to ditch it.

Have just read it.I thought it was crap but did finish it.

I'm eating and that just made me feel a little bit sick!

By the way where can the well-written smut be found?

Are people who aren't into s&m reading it? Because I don't really get that. Or is it getting people into s&m?

literotica has smut of every sort, good, bad, horrible, amazing, puke-inducing, some really well-written stuff though.

Boring and dull -see lucy mangan in the guardian (tomorrow I think) for better written, more interesting and funnier smut.

This is probably a massive over-generalisation, but if you read the reviews on amazon, the better-written reviews are the one star ones, and the five star ones seem to be written by people who don't have such a good grasp of written English (disclaimer: I know I will make at least one ridiculous mistake in this post, sod's law)

Oh Lucy Mangan couldn't be funny if she made a funny face and hung upside down on a mango tree.

ProcratinateWildly (Smiths fan? ;): your mistake was leaving out a full stop at the end of your post.

Damn.

Bollocks! You're right about everything.

Black Lace is better

I have no knowledge of mucky books erotic literature so can't comment, honest...

Am now halfway through the second one.

Still shite. Bored with the boring sex.

Compulsive shite though. I have to keep going if only to cheer when they both die from autoerotic asphyxiation. Or the boat sinking or something.

I've just picked this book up, purely for the 'give sex life a kick' effect....am I going to be disappointed ?

Btw I can almost orgasm from having my nipples tweaked, so I might be ok ?!

gasp holy shit shuddering orgasm repeat

Don't forget to keep biting your lip.

unfortunately they don't die in a horrific accident spoiler

it is all very happy ever after

It's so so so awful. Managed to finish it. Found the sex scenes boring and repetitive, the dialogue is piss-poor, there is no plot and the characters have no redeeming features. It's so badly written. No way I'll be reading the other two.

At least Twilight had some kind of plot, though didn't rate them either...

Well I thought it was all jolly good fun.

yes, the writing was awful, and the references clunky, and the plot ridiculous, but presumably no-one was actually expecting F Scott Fitzgerald

I normally reside in the 'literary fiction' section of the bookshop and have no idea what Twilight was about, but, as cheap thrills go, I liked it.

It was like a tick list of ideal fantasies (although they did feel like they were being actually ticked off one by one in places).

And I've had far more sex with my husband this week

I haven't read it but am puzzled by the hype - I mean, anyone would think that erotic fiction was hard to come by. Haven't these people come across a dirty book before?

Oh yeah-absolute bolleaux. the sex gets REALLY boring.she is wet AND stupid and he is a total nutjob.Your inner (or outer) feminist will scream at you. but it is what kindle is for-stuff you are embarrassed to actually buy in print. In fact, does anyone else get really fed up with amount of sheer awfulness on kindle?

Biggest pile of dreadful drivel I have read in ages. Finished it because I was on holiday and didn't have anything else. Then threw it in the bin in the airport. Boring, repetative, badly written and not even vaguely tittivating.

How come it is top of the Amazon chart??

Curiosity that's why it's at the top of the chart!

Oh thank god. I was beginning to feel like the only person to find it utter shit. It's half read on my bedroom floor and has been for a week or so. It's awful I have books from lovehoney better written, with better sex.

Thank Christ I only paid three quid in Asda. And didnt bother getting book two and three

It's a pile of piffle, I'd almost forgotten I'd read it, though I didn't actually finish. Lots of people seem to be talking about it, however.

I read it after the huge facebook hypr, what utter rubbish. If i read the sentance 'stop biting your lip...' one more time, i'll scream. Like others found myself flickinh through thr sex scenes, they were just repetitive....can't understand how it is a best seller. Thank god i managed to get it for free and did not waste my money....rant over

So if someone wanted an erotic fiction novel to maybe get a bit of a sex drive back........What would she buy?

(Hypothetically speaking obv.)

It's so bad - I am still traumatised. I haven't met anyone in rl who liked it. I flicked/speed read most of it. I was hoping Pervy Perverson might accidentally kill that stupid woman to put us out of our misery. Alas, no.

I feel very sorry for anyone who might get their kicks from such badly written shite.

I threw it in the brown bin, as I couldn't bear to inflict in on anyone else.