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A space to talk openly about weight loss journeys and challenges. Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. You may wish to speak to a medical professional before starting any diet.

Original poster

5 stone weight loss, nobody has said a word

132 replies

laylay9 · 07/10/2025 19:30

Hey guys i have joined this forum because i read good stuff and tips, was silently lurking for a while but now i have joined.

I need advice because truly i am baffled
I have lost on the scales 5 stones and 2 pounds

I have gone down 3 dress sizes, i can do things i would have dreamed of many months ago, walk for miles, touch my toes no wheezing and even my silouhette has gone down big time aka on narrow pavements people dont need to move out of the way.

What is absolutly baffling is unless i mention it to people, nobody brings it up. Literally nobody, whether it is people i have not seen for 3 months or people i see every day, nobody.

Worst still - the odd time i do mention to people 'have you noticed i have lost weight' they will make a vague reply of' oh yes your face looks slimmer'.

Ugh i mean what the heck. Face? that all? really?

I did not do the weight loss for them, it was so i can get to 50 without a heart attack, so i do not care wether they approve or are happy for me or not.

However - when i look it up on chatgpt and many forums apparently it says people are shy, might think i lost because of a medical issue, etc etc.

However - this is what gets me, the same people who are making more or less zero comment on my massive weight loss aka neighbours, and shopkeepers are the SAME PEOPLE who had no problem making big comments in the past like 'have you always been a big lass' or ' i have an xxl dress you can have it if you want'.

While these people did not say this stuff to be mean to me, it was so insensitive and they really did not seem to grasp how rude it was.

Suddenly i have lost all this weight, and they are silent.
It is so annoying and frustrating, while i did not do this for them. Where are their comments now? Why is everybody silent.
Really.

Yes my reward is fitting into smaller clothes, being able to do so many things i could not previously.

But my god, i am so disheartened by this all (really making me think about even wanting to be friends with these people in future or not).

Has anybody had a similar issue?

Again i do not buy the shy excuse, they were not shy making insensitive inhelpful comments in the past.

Thanks for reading

OP posts:
babasaclover · 07/10/2025 19:35

What was your start weight and what is it now?

eg if you weighed 30 stone and lost 5 it would not be that noticeable as you would still be very large, whereas 15 stone to 10 would be completely obviously?

either way massive weight loss and big congratulations to you for it!!! What an achievement you must feel like a new person

YellowStockings · 07/10/2025 19:35

As a rule I don’t ever comment on people’s bodies.

I have a friend who has lost a lot weight on the jabs, she talks about it lots but even then honestly I try to move the conversation on. Her weight is the least interesting thing about her! And as so many people eventually put weight back on - after diets or stopping jabs - I would hate to make a fuss of it now only for her to feel bad if she does regain some.

I mean this v kindly OP but they probably aren’t thinking about your body as much as you are! It’s great you feel good in your body right now, enjoy it.

Pricelessadvice · 07/10/2025 19:35

Honestly, I think most people don’t know how to react sometimes to lots of weight loss.
Someone I know is on the weight loss jabs but I didn’t actually know at first and I saw her losing a lot of weight. I felt a bit awkward saying anything so I didn’t. Eventually she told me she was on the weight loss jabs and I chatted happily to her about it then.

I always feel like if I comment that someone has lost a lot of weight, I’m kind of implying there were obviously fat before. I genuinely don’t want to hurt anyone.

That said, the people you describe don’t sound like that!

Silverfoxette · 07/10/2025 19:36

Well done on your weight loss, that’s amazing. It IS strange that no one has mentioned it, even just to say you’re looking great without mentioning weight. I’m currently sitting in my SW meeting waiting for it to begin. 1 1/2lbs off this week, another stone to go!

Original poster
laylay9 · 07/10/2025 19:37

babasaclover · 07/10/2025 19:35

What was your start weight and what is it now?

eg if you weighed 30 stone and lost 5 it would not be that noticeable as you would still be very large, whereas 15 stone to 10 would be completely obviously?

either way massive weight loss and big congratulations to you for it!!! What an achievement you must feel like a new person

Edited

thanks for replying i started off 16 stone i am now 11

OP posts:
Original poster
laylay9 · 07/10/2025 19:38

Silverfoxette · 07/10/2025 19:36

Well done on your weight loss, that’s amazing. It IS strange that no one has mentioned it, even just to say you’re looking great without mentioning weight. I’m currently sitting in my SW meeting waiting for it to begin. 1 1/2lbs off this week, another stone to go!

wow good luck!! i know its so strange it makes my ocd in the back of the mind think maybe i still look really fat
im 5 foot 9

OP posts:
happyinherts · 07/10/2025 19:41

It may well be that people have noticed you've lost weight but are nervous about mentioning it in case it wasn't intentional, ie you may have been ill and they don't know what to say.

It's annoying, I know, but try not to take it to heart. You're feeling fitter, look better, and you've achieved something remarkable - whether people comment or not!

Allthatshines1992 · 07/10/2025 19:42

This reply has been deleted

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Geneticsbunny · 07/10/2025 19:42

My friend has lost a load of weight and I assume is on mounjaro but I don't want to mention it unless she does first because I am not sure if it would be OK to raise it. maybe lots of people are having the same issue. I don't want her to think that I care about her weight because it is irrelevant to our friendship.

Allthatshines1992 · 07/10/2025 19:42

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babasaclover · 07/10/2025 19:43

laylay9 · 07/10/2025 19:37

thanks for replying i started off 16 stone i am now 11

Show quote history

In that case it is very odd. That is a life changing amount of weight to lose. A completely different figure (I am 11stone myself and quite happy with it on the main).

do you think people are worried to say anything to you in case they assume you’re on the jabs? Even if you were that is of course fine but people are so sensitive about it now

Over what time period did you lose it? Are you exercising now? The happy hormone that exercise gives me beats everything

shoofly · 07/10/2025 19:45

This reply has been deleted

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Wow aren't you utterly horrible? Does it make you feel better to post horrible remarks to someone you don't know?

CameForAVacationStayedForTheRevolution · 07/10/2025 19:49

I wouldn’t mention it unless they talked to me first about losing weight. I just feel uncomfortable remarking on someone’s appearance. But it’s odd you say it’s people who would be happy to make comments previously.

EvangelicalAboutButteredToast · 07/10/2025 19:49

I don’t mention people bodies either. I do have conversations if we are specifically talking about WLI and I know they have been trying to lose weight, but otherwise I don’t talk about it at all.

Latelateshowz · 07/10/2025 19:54

glad to see that the insanely bitchy comment has been instantly zapped!

well done OP. People are strange!

VikaOlson · 07/10/2025 19:55

Unless someone has told me they're trying to lose weight, I would never bring up that they are thinner! Too awkward/rude.

bluewhitebluewhite · 07/10/2025 19:56

@Allthatshines1992your comment says more about you than it does about the OP. In case you’re a bit slow on the uptake, it says you are very unpleasant indeed.

bluewhitebluewhite · 07/10/2025 19:58

@laylay9I have recently lost 4 stone going from 14.5 to 10.5. Some people have mentioned it and some very deliberately don’t. Honestly it is nice to receive a bit of praise but I also appreciate not having to talk about it sometimes, and actually being more than just how much I weigh.

Original poster
laylay9 · 07/10/2025 20:11

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

i understand, but these are people who knew me when i was much much much bigger and had no issues making insensitive comments
suddenly they are all silent
like i say it really really makes me reconsider when i lose that final stone and a half that i want to lose, who i will choose to be my friends in future

OP posts:
Simplestars · 07/10/2025 20:12

laylay9 · 07/10/2025 19:30

Hey guys i have joined this forum because i read good stuff and tips, was silently lurking for a while but now i have joined.

I need advice because truly i am baffled
I have lost on the scales 5 stones and 2 pounds

I have gone down 3 dress sizes, i can do things i would have dreamed of many months ago, walk for miles, touch my toes no wheezing and even my silouhette has gone down big time aka on narrow pavements people dont need to move out of the way.

What is absolutly baffling is unless i mention it to people, nobody brings it up. Literally nobody, whether it is people i have not seen for 3 months or people i see every day, nobody.

Worst still - the odd time i do mention to people 'have you noticed i have lost weight' they will make a vague reply of' oh yes your face looks slimmer'.

Ugh i mean what the heck. Face? that all? really?

I did not do the weight loss for them, it was so i can get to 50 without a heart attack, so i do not care wether they approve or are happy for me or not.

However - when i look it up on chatgpt and many forums apparently it says people are shy, might think i lost because of a medical issue, etc etc.

However - this is what gets me, the same people who are making more or less zero comment on my massive weight loss aka neighbours, and shopkeepers are the SAME PEOPLE who had no problem making big comments in the past like 'have you always been a big lass' or ' i have an xxl dress you can have it if you want'.

While these people did not say this stuff to be mean to me, it was so insensitive and they really did not seem to grasp how rude it was.

Suddenly i have lost all this weight, and they are silent.
It is so annoying and frustrating, while i did not do this for them. Where are their comments now? Why is everybody silent.
Really.

Yes my reward is fitting into smaller clothes, being able to do so many things i could not previously.

But my god, i am so disheartened by this all (really making me think about even wanting to be friends with these people in future or not).

Has anybody had a similar issue?

Again i do not buy the shy excuse, they were not shy making insensitive inhelpful comments in the past.

Thanks for reading

Harder to notice weight loss on big people.

Threadreplier · 07/10/2025 20:12

Ahh well done! That's a huge achievement.

I never comment now. I used to, but so many times i've really reacted and congratulated someone (i never directly said weight loss, just wow you look amazing and healthy). They've then regained the weight + more and so I've felt awkward later about the previous comment in case they think I'm judging. So I've stopped unless they mention it. I just don't want my friends and acquaintances to think I care about how they look generally. I care about who they are. If they comment it shows it's important to them which makes it more important to me.

CameForAVacationStayedForTheRevolution · 07/10/2025 20:13

Simplestars · 07/10/2025 20:12

Harder to notice weight loss on big people.

Show quote history

16 stone to 11 stone is noticeable. It’s not like she weighed 30 stone to start with.

Original poster
laylay9 · 07/10/2025 20:14

VikaOlson · 07/10/2025 19:55

Unless someone has told me they're trying to lose weight, I would never bring up that they are thinner! Too awkward/rude.

thanks for your reply and everybodys kind replies
thats the point though, if these were people who didnt say anything when i was much bigger (many of them didnt), then i would understand, but some of them, maybe half a dozen people who made insensitive comments over the last couple of years, they see me some of them regularly some of them not often, so clearly they can see me much more healthier looking, and suddenly they are not saying anything

  • again i dont need their approval, i am not doing it for them, but when people say maybe they are shy, they had no problem indirectly fat shaming me in the past... and it just makes my paranoia creep up (until i see the huge t-shirt which you can fit almost two of me in now that i used to wear about february time).
  • then i think, this is definatly real, physically and visually so why no comment in real life
OP posts:
Simplestars · 07/10/2025 20:14

laylay9 · 07/10/2025 19:37

thanks for replying i started off 16 stone i am now 11

Show quote history

To be fair that is a big loss so people should notice.
Maybe wear brighter clothing that should ring alarm bells.

Well done though and keep going.

Tagalogalog · 07/10/2025 20:16

I rarely comment unless I know someone has been dieting! For two reasons:, I worry it implies I am judging them on weight; and I know a couple of people who lost weight due to life threatening illness and the last thing they want to hear is how fabulous they look now they dropped a few sizes