5 stone weight loss, nobody has said a word

[laylay9]

Hey guys i have joined this forum because i read good stuff and tips, was silently lurking for a while but now i have joined.

I need advice because truly i am baffled
I have lost on the scales 5 stones and 2 pounds

I have gone down 3 dress sizes, i can do things i would have dreamed of many months ago, walk for miles, touch my toes no wheezing and even my silouhette has gone down big time aka on narrow pavements people dont need to move out of the way.

What is absolutly baffling is unless i mention it to people, nobody brings it up. Literally nobody, whether it is people i have not seen for 3 months or people i see every day, nobody.

Worst still - the odd time i do mention to people 'have you noticed i have lost weight' they will make a vague reply of' oh yes your face looks slimmer'.

Ugh i mean what the heck. Face? that all? really?

I did not do the weight loss for them, it was so i can get to 50 without a heart attack, so i do not care wether they approve or are happy for me or not.

However - when i look it up on chatgpt and many forums apparently it says people are shy, might think i lost because of a medical issue, etc etc.

However - this is what gets me, the same people who are making more or less zero comment on my massive weight loss aka neighbours, and shopkeepers are the SAME PEOPLE who had no problem making big comments in the past like 'have you always been a big lass' or ' i have an xxl dress you can have it if you want'.

While these people did not say this stuff to be mean to me, it was so insensitive and they really did not seem to grasp how rude it was.

Suddenly i have lost all this weight, and they are silent.
It is so annoying and frustrating, while i did not do this for them. Where are their comments now? Why is everybody silent.
Really.

Yes my reward is fitting into smaller clothes, being able to do so many things i could not previously.

But my god, i am so disheartened by this all (really making me think about even wanting to be friends with these people in future or not).

Has anybody had a similar issue?

Again i do not buy the shy excuse, they were not shy making insensitive inhelpful comments in the past.

Thanks for reading

I think a lot of pp have glossed over this part for some reason even though it’s in your OP. The fact that it’s people who have made
remarks on your body before are now saying nothing. So it doesn’t make sense to say “oh they don’t feel comfortable commenting on your appearance /body”

Clearly there’s some jealously and ill-will involved here when people who comment about your larger size , suddenly have a “no comment on body” rule when you lose weight.

I had this too, this stupid girl at my uni commented on how big my thighs were and how I needed to lose weight. I saw her a year later had lost a few stone and was a size 8 - she didn’t say a word! If she was that worried about my thighs shouldn’t she have been pleased I’d lost weight? The answer is of course no because she was never really “worried” for me, she just wanted to have a dig at me.

Anyway you are quite right to reassess your relationships! It sounds like these friends are not happy for you and resent your success in losing weight hence the silence. That of course may not apply to everyone but it will to some of them.

I would say though while I can kinda understand the urgency you must’ve felt trying to lose weight at 16 stone which led you to follow a diet like that - now you’re 11 stone your BMI is now within the healthy range (congratulations!) and there is not the same pressure/need surely?

So I’d advise you to now look into a more balanced diet which includes home cooked meals using whole foods/veg.

You can still lose the last stone but you could do it while eating a more balanced and nourishing diet. And learning some new simple healthy recipes to make sustainable changes to your diet because surely you
can’t live on SW ready meals forever ?

Also I don’t know if you’ve mentioned it but I didn’t see any mention of exercise? Even half an hour daily walking and 20 minutes of strength training a couple of times a week could make a big difference if you’re currently sedentary.

How long did it take you to lose the weight? If it came off gradually over a few years they may not have noticed the changes as much. If it came off quickly, they may be trying to dodge the awkward question of whether you used the jabs or not. Or if you'd been ill.

I don’t generally comment on someone’s weight loss. Sometimes it’s not intentional and due to illness or upset. I lost around 4 stone over lockdown and experienced similar. The difference of course was huge as no one had really seen me for ages. The only comment I had was from one person who asked if I was ok and wondered if I had been ill with covid. Some people didn’t recognise me at first.

Well done done on the weight loss op. It’s not easy to lose a significant amount of weight!

Congratulations n losing the weight.

I have lost 3 stone this year was 15 stone, a few people have mentioned it on asked outright if I was using WLI which I did admit to but told her I had not told very many people. I am at the moment dropping off the WLI due to pretty much hitting the weight I am happy with.

In the past I have had some health issues so some friends are not mentioning weight loss, maybe they think health related issues again.

When younger I might have said something but I wouldn’t comment on someone’s body now.

1. They might be unwell
2. It implies I didn’t think they looked nice before
3. They might put it back on
4. More recently might be on weight loss drugs and not want to talk about it.

Basically it’s rude!! I would say that I loved something you were wearing instead though.

Congratulations on the weightloss OP! You must be so proud of yourself.
Reiterating what everyone here has said - focus on yourself, you did this for you and not for the approval of others. And many don't like to comment on weight.

In response to your other points that some would happily comment when you were larger, I'd say it's jealousy or not knowing what to say. Everyone has the jeans in their wardrobe they want to fit in, very different from actually achieving it.

If you're no longer the fat friend or the fat neighbour, people almost need to recategorise you, so this limbo period can be quite suprising for them to manoeuvre. You may never get any comment from them ever. I hope this makes sense.

In other news, I have lost 6 stone, and I absolutely HATE people commenting on my weightloss, especially when I still have another 4 stone to lose. It makes me feel absolutely huge that I look so different whilst still being obese. 😣