5 stone weight loss, nobody has said a word

[laylay9]

Hey guys i have joined this forum because i read good stuff and tips, was silently lurking for a while but now i have joined.

I need advice because truly i am baffled
I have lost on the scales 5 stones and 2 pounds

I have gone down 3 dress sizes, i can do things i would have dreamed of many months ago, walk for miles, touch my toes no wheezing and even my silouhette has gone down big time aka on narrow pavements people dont need to move out of the way.

What is absolutly baffling is unless i mention it to people, nobody brings it up. Literally nobody, whether it is people i have not seen for 3 months or people i see every day, nobody.

Worst still - the odd time i do mention to people 'have you noticed i have lost weight' they will make a vague reply of' oh yes your face looks slimmer'.

Ugh i mean what the heck. Face? that all? really?

I did not do the weight loss for them, it was so i can get to 50 without a heart attack, so i do not care wether they approve or are happy for me or not.

However - when i look it up on chatgpt and many forums apparently it says people are shy, might think i lost because of a medical issue, etc etc.

However - this is what gets me, the same people who are making more or less zero comment on my massive weight loss aka neighbours, and shopkeepers are the SAME PEOPLE who had no problem making big comments in the past like 'have you always been a big lass' or ' i have an xxl dress you can have it if you want'.

While these people did not say this stuff to be mean to me, it was so insensitive and they really did not seem to grasp how rude it was.

Suddenly i have lost all this weight, and they are silent.
It is so annoying and frustrating, while i did not do this for them. Where are their comments now? Why is everybody silent.
Really.

Yes my reward is fitting into smaller clothes, being able to do so many things i could not previously.

But my god, i am so disheartened by this all (really making me think about even wanting to be friends with these people in future or not).

Has anybody had a similar issue?

Again i do not buy the shy excuse, they were not shy making insensitive inhelpful comments in the past.

Thanks for reading

That’s very odd, people can’t stop commenting for me.all very flattering, but I’m over it now and would prefer everyone else is. I find it rude that even when you raise it they don’t comment and don’t wish to pay you a compliment. But happy to comment when you are bigger. You seem to know some unpleasant people. You also need to factor in there could be envy at play. Some people are really messed up about weight, and others really messed up about success.

Oh so that's massively noticeable; you've gone from, bluntly, fat to normal.
I had a male colleague who did this years ago. No one mentioned it. Then one day he told me he'd lost 10 stone, just by walking to the cathedral and back every day and only eating his meal deal, no snacks or fizzy drinks apart from with the meal deal. It was astonishing. It was a great office and I doubt anyone had ever mentioned his weight before, so would have been a bit awk to mention it afterwards.

Weight loss is a bit of a taboo subject at the moment, I think. Skinny jabs are becoming so popular and people look down on those who've lost the weight that way because they think it's easy and, honestly, they're jealous. So if they suspect that's how you've lost the weight, they won't mention it.

I'm of the opinion that anyone losing weight can only be a good thing, jabs or naturally, go for it, well done you, I'm sure you feel a million times better!

You mean you would have commented on a customer's weight loss?!
That's bizarre. Some people lose weight for sad or unhappy reasons (illness, bereavement, divorce). Others don't want comments that essentially remind them how large they used to be.

I never comment on weight changes. It feels rude and intrusive

That is surprising. I’ve lost a similar amount of weight a people have commented a lot, all positive but it’s too big a change not to notice

I know half a dozen people over the years who have lost several stone. I have no issue at all with jabs - good for them if it works and they feel well. It's damned hard work to lose weight.

But I don't mention weightloss because all but 1 put it back on within a year. Each spent some time at their lowest weight - one only a couple of months, and one for about 3 years - but all regained in the end.

So... I don't say anything. Because I don't want their weight to be something I praise, and when it creeps back, what would I say? I would feel differently about a very close friend who had updated me lots about their journey.

But really I just don't want to make them feel bad when it doesn't work out longterm.

amazing replies cant reply to everybody or i will be here for ever but i am so proud of all of you

• also, be very very careful of things like weight watchers preztels, bannas etc, they may just be 90 cal here and there but they add up
• save the calories for two sizeable meals 400 cal or if you want to be more conservative, 500 cal meals have nothing before, after or in between, make sure they are fairly low fat aka tildas pilau rice is just 330 cal, and you can get roast beef slices for as low as 29 cal at morrisons, cut a couple of them into small pieces, bulk it up with lettuce and you are good to go
• satiety, do not gobble it all in one go, have a medium bite, then shower/ video game/ watch video for 20 min then continue........ that gives the satiety body signals, and you are far less likely to be starving after eating
• no cokes/ fizzy sugary drinks even diet, the chemicals etc are there to keep you thirsty keep you craving etc
• and finally, dont have the last meal too late like 11pm but try have it around 9.30 because then if eaten correctly and slowly you should feel full up, whereas if you have it 8pm and you dont go to bed till midnight, you will be hungry again potentially later
• oh and my trick, when craving a takeaway or hot comforting food, is simple, i get a low sugar low calorie cordial, a dash of it in a cup 95 per cent water, do not make it sweeet just enough so the taste comes through - heat it up in microwave for 90 seconds.. the heat magnifies the sweetness, (real thing by the way), and that hot sensory feeling satisfies your system into getting that takeaway/ late craving....
• i hope these tips are helpful

I wouldn’t dream of mentioning weight loss or weight gain, to anyone. I’d hate to accidentally put my foot in it.
You’ve done tremendously well OP, be proud of your achievements.

I fancy a hot Ribena now!

That's brilliant, well done - you're such an inspiration!

I'm in my third week of committing to losing the excess 4 stone I've managed to gain. And it is hard!

People will have noticed, you've gone from obese to a normal, healthy weight. Perhaps that makes them uncomfortable, especially if you've always been "the fat one", who get's that title now? Perhaps you now look better than them?

I saw a couple of friends over the summer, one has lost 3 stone with WLI and the other has lost 5 with SW. I told them both that they look amazing, and actually its them and stories like yours that make me think that maybe I can do it too.

People just feel awkward commenting on weight. They will have noticed but it's an awkward thing to say. Especially if someone has lost a lot because it sort of implies you recognised they had a lot to lose in the first place.

An acquaintance of mine has recently lost 3 stones. He actually doesn't look great on it. His face is really gaunt and he looks different. I haven't mentioned it until I'd had a few wines and felt it was an ok context.

My husband didn't comment. My daughter and I discuss each others weight loss. Friends don't in the main.

Well done, that’s an amazing achievement! Many people probably don’t know what to say , so say nothing. I think commenting on peoples bodies is a big no no these days ….you don’t want to accidentally insult somebody or have them think you used to this it hey were fat …:..it’s a minefield!

Forget other people which I know you are doing anyway and be so happy that you’ve done this. It’s fabulous.

I think it’s the ubiquity of weight loss drugs. People who don’t struggle with their weight used to feel impressed by the sight of a formerly fat person going to heroic efforts to eat less/exercise more, and so commented. Now there’s the assumption that it’s easy. It’s the same when congratulate each other on giving up smoking (perceived as very hard) and booze (hardish) but don’t say anything if you stop biting your nails.

People get upset when their weight is mentioned. A cousin of mine cried when another auntie said ‘Becca you look great, you’ve lost weight!’ The 5 stone was a noticeable loss but Becca took it to mean Auntie thought she had looked bad when larger?? It was very confusing. So I never mention weight at all.

Well done OP 👏 👏👏.

If they could comment when you were bigger, but don't now, it's jealousy.

That, or they think you're on injections and are trying to be polite.

Don't shy away from the topic and hopefully they'll realise you're quite happy to talk about it.

i know, but this really has given me a fk the world mentality now i dont care anymore
if i see these neighbours or so called friends in future ill nod and say hello and goodbye, thats it.. they arent the kind of people i want in my life, even if it was not meant this way, people dont realise they can be quite hurtful

Don't be disheartened you have done amazing! Let them and know yoj have done the best thing for you and your family. Accept they are jealous know that you are better and rise above it. Celebrate your achievements. They're bitter. Well done

again im not after a dopamine rush and to impress anybody, but its just where are all these people who made their insensitive comments in the past.. same two faced neighbours who see me most days or some who dont see me for sevral months they say hello pretending to be nice but mention nothing about weight loss despite making insensitive comments about weight gain in the past

Did you see my other comment as well? There are two types of people.

The people who commented negatively when you were 5 stone heavier won’t comment your weight loss, because they can’t be bothered or don’t want to praise you. They do not deserve a place in your life.

And those who are just being polite are probably fine as people, but they won’t say anything to you either!

The former are the people you don’t need in your life. The latter people are probably fine.

I was going to say I don’t comment on weight as it seems rude to me and I’d be worried you could have been unwell

but if these fuckers have made negative comments they are clearly just haters not worth the time or energy
they won’t clap for you when you win
but just you clap for yourself

well done lovely

I never mention anyone's weight loss unless they tell me. Even at that i would tell them they look great. Because I dont like people to think their bodies are being judged. Being a good person is far more important than appearance . Congrats OP , you are doing this for you and no doubt you feel fabulous!

Of course being a good person is more important than appearance I don’t think anyone suggested otherwise but that doesn’t mean appearance isn’t also important, it is, but losing weight is primarily for health, and if someone says to me they have lost weight on a diet, I’d always compliment and congratulate them, always, because taking back control of your health is always something to be celebrated.

I love it when people comment...I assumed everyone did, until I read otherwise on here. Even a guy in my local cafe commented...I was thrilled!