KATYBUMPERS EASTER CHALLENGE.HOW MUCH DO YOU WANT TO LOSE?

[katylessbumpy]

i'm aiming to lose for 8 lbs.

i need your advice......
dh is coming at 11am to see dd.he wants to talk.i don't know what to do.part of me wants to believe in my marriage and listen to him and maybe sort things out and the other part can't be arsed anymore.
i want the man back that i fell in love with and i don't know if i love the person he is now.
sorry i know i should post this in relationships but i need advice from my friends xxx

what did he do/not do?
or i guess what do you want from him now??

Its hard to give advice when you dont know what's wrong.....
Bottom line though is follow you're instincts. If you feel its over, then it probably is. But it sounds to me like you want to give it another go as you sound unsure.
Hard to give advice when you don't know the person/s in real life.
Plus its you're life/marriage and only the two of you can really save it.

Have you thought of maybe seeing a marriage counsellor......??

he wouldn't go to counselling.
i just feel that i'm worth more than the way he has been treating me.
he just drinks too much and when i tell him i'm worried aout him he tells me to f@ck off.his dad died of a heart attack at a farely young age but he doesn't listen.the more he drinks the more of an arse he is.
he manages to ruin every family occasion as he is your typical uncle knobhead.it's embaressing
he can tell me he'll stop drinking til he's blue in the face but i don't believe it.
he is grumpy and anti-social to the point that my friends and family don't come round when he is in.but he is a legend with his mates.
i don't know what to do .he never used to be like this.i have known him 18 years and i just feel sad that i feel nothing for him.for the man he has become

oh boy.
Just hear what he has to say and take it from there. Maybe his time away from home and the family has made him realise what he's losing....

I hope it works out in the way you want.
I'm thinking of you xxxxx

the thing is it's about the fourth or with time it's happened this year already!

your right though,i'll listen to what he has to say.better get my whatever face off me lol

thanks mine xx

what a surprise.he isn't here yet.

Did he turn up in the end?

If he can't even be arsed to turn up on time i'd make him wait at least another week before agreeing to meet with him again the last thing you want is to be at his beck and call!

It doesn't sound good from what you've said but 18yrs is a long time, maybe you would get on better if you were apart? For dc's sake?

No-one is saying split forever anyway, why rush into a decision?

Oh, Katy.
Alcohol is a bit of an issue in our relationship, but less so since DD, thankfully. I think you are so trying to do the best thing by everyone else - it is ok to do the best thing for you too. I hope you find some peace.

Am impressed with all the weight loss! I've kept my first stone off but really must make some more headway with the second.

he turned up at 11.30.
we have talked and in have told him absolutely everything that i thought is wrong with our marriage.i think i shocked him to be honest as i didn't ask him to stay.
he has gone to work now and is coming here when he finishes but he has to seriously cut down his drinking and sort himself out or it is over for good.
i'm still going to my sisters for the weekend and going to do my ww training.whether that is with him in my life or not remains to be seen .
i've told him that i no longer have feelings for him and that is up to him to make me love him again.harsh ,i know but it's the truth

i'm starving,just going to grab some lunch.be back in a bit.

thanks for listening xx

mlp how did you manage to resolve it? or did it just sort itself out?
any help would be really appreciated

just had a ham salad pitta and i'm now munching an apple

glad dh turned up in the end Katy.
Hope you can work it out.

I think you're doing all the right things katy fingers crossed it turns out how you want it to.

Now i need some help theres the same matter of wii fit or gym membership and now i also have to decide if I should bother going swimming tonight or not? (you are not a serious mnetter if you can make your own decisions so.......anyone? help?

not same i meant small, its been a long day!

I'm not going swimming, the tops of my arms hurt, i'm tired and hungry, I went on the trampoline earlier and I'm going to play on the wii instead after dinner.

I'm going to polish off the salad I made at the start of the week and have crackerbread with light philli on it

I moved to a little island in the middle of the sea, and what I can't see won't hurt me....

But, seriously. The problems weren't as big as with your DH. He goes out to evening meetings a lot, and would then go to the pub for 'a couple', and not come home until 6am sometimes. He did it a lot pre-baby. It stopped for a bit, then picked up again. I used to say the same stuff, I just need to know where you are and when you are coming back. But often he didn't know where he was and when he was coming back. I tried just going about my and DDs lives, ignoring it. The thing that worked the most was guessing when it was going to happen (ie, certain people always made it more likely) and just saying - I'm not expecting you in my bed, at all, and I will see you in the morning, in a reasonable state.

But it was pretty unresolved and being here means he does what he likes all week and plays devoted father and husband all weekend . And I pretend it's not happening.

More than you bargained for, sorry!
I've also found that I drink far more than I ever did or meant to. Not even to excess, just more regularly really. And I don't like that either but that's my own stupid fault!

go swimming,you'll enjoy and get the chance to earn some bps.
now i've given the wii fit vs gym some serious though since this morning and i think you should buy wii fit and as soon as the weather gets a bit better start power walking/jogging outside.that way you can build a routine that suits you

thanks for the support ladies,it means alot xx

sorry that took me that long to post blame ds1 lol

do you think a tropical island would work mlp?

dh doesn't go out so he thinks it's not a problem.he just sits in the house and gets drunk.
i really understand what you are going through though.my ex was like that ,he use to go for a pint on a friday after work and turn up on monday teatime! hence he is now my ex.
do you find yourself drinking more when you are with him ? dh encourages me to have a drink and then calls me a misery when i say no

A tropical island sounds great, I'll come too!!!

He does drink at home, maybe around a bottle of wine a night. Sadly, very sadly, I don't find him a problem if I've had a glass too. And therein lies my problem. Fortunately at home he falls asleep after that - prob about 8-10 units. I'm dopey by the end of the first glass - so I guess I'm not doing too bad. Yet. He doesn't wind me up for not drinking if I don't, I just find him a pain, IYSWIM.

Alcohol is so difficult, isn't it? My mum drinks to excess, in a similar pattern to DP's home drinking. Freud would have a field day

Don't know how either of you can cope with that tbh.

I think the wasting money and time you could be spending/ sharing together is what would really anger me, I couldn't be with a man who put drink before his family.

ok next thread title
katy's diet club tropicana,drinks are free lol

my dh can drink 20 cans of lager in one sitting,fall asleep/pass out and then wake up a couple of hours later and carryon.he doesn't get hangovers or is even ill.he see's no problem doing this every night .
if it's there he'll drink until it's all gone.
i thought it would change when he got this job but now he just starts when he gets home at 11 ish and stops when his snoring wakes me up and i have to come downstairs and kick him to wake him.
it is difficult .i like a drink but i'm not one for sitting in the house drinking iykwim.
if i go to my sisters or she comes here then it's a social night in.
i also like a cold lager on a warm summers day but who doesn't lol

i think i need a name change,any ideas?

i'm going on my stepper now dd is asleep.be back in an hour or so.

Hi there, sorry I started the discussion then disappeared went to bed early and then I have been busy all day and have only just managed to get on here. I hope you manage to sort out your dh katy, whatever the solution is

I have had a good day today, so this is next phase of my trying to lose some more weight.
B = Banana, pkt choc chip biscuits (sam's)
L = 2 toast and flora light, low fat tin of soup
D = Tuna steak and salad.

Regards history... I was 11st when I got married in June 2004, went up to 11st 5 after the honeymoon then got pregnant Sept 04 went up to 14 and a half stone. Had Sam June 05 and managed to get back to 11st 5 after 12 months, settled at that for the next few months and got pregnant again in Aug 06 but lost it in Oct at 12 weeks. Got pregnant again Jan 07, went back up to 14st just before I had Ben in Oct 07. Lost one stone during birth and as of Jan 1st I was 13st 1 pound. Before last weeks blip of showing 2 pound up I had lost 16 pound

I was 10 and a half stone when I met DH and would love to be that again, so must get my skates on and DO IT

Must be a man thing, my dh drinks about a bottle of wine a night or 4/5 cans lager and a couple of double G&T's but it doesn't annoy me in anyway or cause any problems fortunately.

Katy sounds like your hubby has a drink problem if he is drinking that amount daily Does he have a stressful job, that's the excuse my dh uses, he does though

mrsfish our weight ups and downs sound scarily similar although i stopped weighing myself after i got to 15 st with ddi blame spd and chips and gravy lol.

dh has admitted today that he has a problem
tbh that was the crucial moment for me.admitting that he drinks far too much.he always denied it saying i was being a misery etc.
he doesn't have a stressful job as he has a tendency to suffer with depression when it all gets too much so he works for dominoes pizza.
nope,he has no excuse .

i thought of a new name,i'll be back to model it in aminute.
i have to change it now i've tidied my ladygarden,shaved my legs and applied fake tan!i feel like a new woman lol...............

'twirls around in size 10 jeans'
so what do you think?