I am getting obsessed with not losing weight and it's making me unhappy.

[Bintle]

I'm mid fifties. On HRT. Either 5 7 or 5 8, not sure! Weigh 13 stone. I've put 10lbs on since beginning of December- living away from home for a week looking after an ill relative started it, then Christmas, then I injured myself (broken arm) and currently can't drive or go to the gym.

I am OBSESSED with looking fat. I won't have my photo taken at all, assume I'm the fattest person in the room. I'm worried that my dh doesn't find me attractive any more. I am constantly worrying about food.

I've started trying to walk 10000 steps a day but I've aggravated my broken arm somehow so really need to rest.

I'm drinking a Huel shake with fruit in it every morning which I enjoy. I bought this to make sure I got enough nutrients and protein to heal my arm and because cooking isn't the easiest. Lunch will be a tuna salad or some heated up leftovers. Last night we had quiche and salad for dinner then I had a skyr yogurt. Today its fish stew. I barely drink alcohol. Dd3 is doing exams and stressed so to relax she makes cakes which I'd feel ridiculous saying I can't eat a slice of cake because I'm dieting so I ate a couple of slices (delicious!). I'm obsessively weighing myself and already dreading my holiday in 6 weeks.

I have a break from the progesterone part of my HRT for 5 days and during that time I do seem to drop a couple of pounds.

It's making me really unhappy and I'm piling the pressure on myself.

Are you counting calories? If not you are really flying blind. I can't recommend myfitnesspal enough. I am almost 3 stones down despite starting Hrt

You’re me. Solidarity.

Yes! And I am eating about 1400 calories a day! (Not including the cake which after two weeks of 1400 calories a day can't have made such a huge difference)

😅 thanks. Hopefully you don't have a broken limb as well

@Bintle

Have you tried cutting out sugar and processed food? And eating whatever you like and not counting calories? I eat so much food, but it's only vegetables, fruit, pulses, oats, whole meal rice and pasta, peanut butter (pure) loads of oat milk. I quit the sugar a while back as I was going down a bad path, I'd gained weight and was miserable in general, tired, weak. The first week was awful, I felt the withdrawals so badly, I had a headache, head zaps, muscle pain, exhaustion. But once you get through it and your body is no longer burning your sugar, it started burning fat reserves and the mood increases, energy levels rise. It's insane. It makes so much sense, and is exactly how we are supposed to eat. And the best part is, I'm not hungry 24/7, I only eat when my body tells me too as I have no cravings!! Try just good, clean healthy eating. It's a lifestyle change not a diet, and you won't miss the cake as you won't even want it!

I do want the cake. My dd made the cake, it was an amazing cake. I definitely don't regret eating it. I don't eat biscuits or shop bought cake ever.

I’m in the same age range as you. I wasn’t losing on 1400 calories. I downloaded MyNetDiary app. You put in your details, your weight and what you’d like to weigh on a certain date and it gives you how many calories to eat a day to do it. I had 2 stone to lose (only one more to go before my holiday in Sept). I am losing between 1-2lbs a week on 1190 calories a day.

The app is free unless you want to pay for the extras but there’s no need.

Thanks. Yes I need to eat less calories I think.

I agree with AmilyChestnut. Cut UPF and excess sugar/starchy carbs you will not need to worry about counting calories. I did this and am losing weight/fat rapidly.

The processing destroys the food matrix which means you will absorb more of the calories from the food. If you stick to non processed food you will feel 100% better, be leaner and have more energy. I have zero cravings now.

I've lost weight this way quicker than any way before, and it felt daily I was losing stomach fat. It's such a no brainer once it clicks, but so many people are looking for a quick easy fix and many diet plans take advantage of those people, sucking them in with paid apps. Unfortunately, simple healthy eating doesn't sell.

Please consider a diet overhaul op, cutting out sugar and not eating anything processed. It doesn't seem like it now, but once you are free of sugar, making healthy food from scratch becomes joyful! I can't tel you how freeing it is not thinking of what I am eating, or depriving myself of every second of every day. And this comes from a place of love, and experience. I've suffered with an eating disorder since the age of 13, and have battled it daily for over 20 years.. always focusing on weight loss and having no regard for my actual health.

It got to a point where I was shattered, consumed by my E.D, struggling with daily life when I just thought, enough!! I started eating healthily to get healthy, for the first time in my life my weight was not my main factor, but I'm not exaggerating when I say the weight fell off effortlessly, I fell in love with food again and my life has improved dramatically. I'm happier, healthier. I look better, feel better. I'm a better mum, a better partner. Life is better without junk food. Try it for a month, don't count calories just eat healthy food, from scratch. Doesn't have to be healthy, mine is often soup, or a bean chilli, you won't regret it.

Doesn't have to be complicated*

I barely eat sugar and nothing highly processed. I've cooked all my own food from fresh ingredients for years before it became trendy!

And the nearest I ever get to junk food is a homemade burger using butchers mince.

I really don't think processed food is a problem.

I think sometimes it’s a change of mindset. I mean you would ‘feel ridiculous’ not having a slice of cake so you had a ‘couple of slices?’ Why did you have to have a couple of slices?

Either way I think you need check you’re being really honest with yourself. I see a lot of people who count their calories incorrectly and don’t know what an actual portion of something looks like. Plus a ‘couple of slices of cake’ can be a huge amount depending on what kind it is, how large the slices are, and so on.

1400 calories is weight maintenance for lots of older women. It certainly is for me.

Yeah, I log everything on MFP

Two slices of lemon loaf cake should be about 400 cals

@Bintle I honestly think part of it is an age thing. I am 61 and struggle to lose weight on 1400 calories a day and that's even eating very clean and not much UOF at all. I eat relatively low carb, lots of protein and veg and yet am still pre diabetic (just) and even eating like a saint struggle to lose 1lb a week , 15 years ago I would have lost 3lb a week eating like this. I am heavier than you by a stone and shorter too. It's a bit depressing I know

Solidarity. Yes I'm sure it's an age thing. I know a friend of mine who is very slim eats basically nothing. One small meal a day. It's quite worrying.

Well we clearly need to see the tuna salad - is it a mumsnet massive salad ? 😉

Ha ha lol
I can tell you that it has 400 calories as logged by MFL. That's with a tin of tuna and half a tin of mixed beans as well as all the salad stuff.

You should lose on 1400 calories but very slowly.

Also - are you sure you aren't underestimating calories? Calories in cake slices depends on the size of the slices! Also huel shake plus fruit could be up to 600 (depending on the fruit!) which is a big chunk of your allowance.

Add up your calories… Huel shake, fruit, skyr yoghurt, quiche… plus milk in coffees/tea.. you could easily be eating over 1400 calories even without the cake.

I have said a few times now that I'm using MFP to do this.

A huel shake is 400 calories. Sometimes I add some berries and half a banana, so roughly 80 more, but yes that is a big chunk but it does keep me full.

Exactly this!