I am getting obsessed with not losing weight and it's making me unhappy.

[Bintle]

I'm mid fifties. On HRT. Either 5 7 or 5 8, not sure! Weigh 13 stone. I've put 10lbs on since beginning of December- living away from home for a week looking after an ill relative started it, then Christmas, then I injured myself (broken arm) and currently can't drive or go to the gym.

I am OBSESSED with looking fat. I won't have my photo taken at all, assume I'm the fattest person in the room. I'm worried that my dh doesn't find me attractive any more. I am constantly worrying about food.

I've started trying to walk 10000 steps a day but I've aggravated my broken arm somehow so really need to rest.

I'm drinking a Huel shake with fruit in it every morning which I enjoy. I bought this to make sure I got enough nutrients and protein to heal my arm and because cooking isn't the easiest. Lunch will be a tuna salad or some heated up leftovers. Last night we had quiche and salad for dinner then I had a skyr yogurt. Today its fish stew. I barely drink alcohol. Dd3 is doing exams and stressed so to relax she makes cakes which I'd feel ridiculous saying I can't eat a slice of cake because I'm dieting so I ate a couple of slices (delicious!). I'm obsessively weighing myself and already dreading my holiday in 6 weeks.

I have a break from the progesterone part of my HRT for 5 days and during that time I do seem to drop a couple of pounds.

It's making me really unhappy and I'm piling the pressure on myself.

(And also I find it reassuring that I'm getting a lot of nutrients particularly as cooking is difficult with a broken arm)

I have definitely noticed a huge improvement in my energy levels since the huel.

https://www.katievaughnnutrition.com/blog/weight-loss-resistance-the-3-main-culprits#:~:text=Weight%20loss%20resistance%20is%20when,help%20you%20lose%20body%20fat.

@AmilyChestnut Does that include refined carbs? I eat a lot of rice cakes!

OP, I am in a similar position to you - I can't lose weight on 1400 calories (it appears to be my maintenance weight). Also balance it out over the week - I find that I eat more at the weekend (and of course alcohol adds calories) which means that I find it difficult to lose weight as the calories all balance out.

Also on the other side of the coin, if you haven't done it already think about building some weight training into your routine. It'll burn calories off but also tone you up like nothing else.

Stop weighing yourself and concentrate on eating healthily and being more active.

No idea about calories as I do slimming world but pretty much all the same idea, a quick Google suggests Huel is 20 syns which is 5 over your daily allowance with just that. Plus 2 pieces of cake which are always high, doesn't matter if it's bought or home made and then suddenly you realise why you aren't losing.

Rice cakes aren't good for you, so they aren't offering any nutritional value so they won't fill you up. Try raw bars instead? I love them. Fruit salad with plain yogurt if needed, banana and peanut butter, apple and carrot with hummus..

Stay away from low fat things, as they're full of chemicals to give the taste. Full fat is better.

Shakes from powder aren't good, as they're full of stuff you don't need. Try making a shake, I like peanut butter, banana, cinnamon, oats and oat milk. Delicious!

I was heavier than you for ages.
Also menopausal.

I’ve lost weight now but it’s hard. Basically I don’t eat a great deal. Sometimes just fruit in the day, sometimes a protein shake with added raspberries, yoghurt, oats and a little PB but only if I train. Then a healthy supper, slimming world meals as partner is doing slimming world. No sugar at all and probably maximum of 1000 calories a day. I don’t get hungry now but it was an adjustment.

I don’t drink.

i do a lot of exercise- weight training with a PT once a week and then 3/4 workouts at home with Jillian Michaels or Caroline Girvan, again using weights. I have sedentary job but weekend days either a long hike or bike ride.

If I don’t live like this this, I gain weight and I do feel better for it but I miss eating more and wistfully think back to my younger days when I could drink wine and eat chocolate and still be a healthy weight, But sadly it’s not like that now.

@SybilWrites I also add milled seed to my shakes and porridge

You are me too! And I actually did break my arm last year which didn't help. So double solidarity. I think about how fat I am an awful lot :(

I've lost a tiny bit of weight the last few weeks and I've done this by not drinking any booze, eating mainly Protein and no carbs, and walking ALOT. But it's slow progress and probably not sustainable.

I'm not on HRT but probably peri and one of the reasons I won't go and ask for HRT is because me being me it will probably make me even fatter.

How often do you eat home made cake? If it's a one-off then fair enough but if it's a regular occurrence just because it's home made doesn't make it lower calorie than shop bought cakes. Think of how many people put on weight in lockdown when they were making banana bread etc. at home a bit too often.

I think you may be underestimating the calories in things. I would estimate 500 not 400 for a tuna salad for example, if you have any dressing.

I eat between 1000 and 1200 calories a day-any more than that and there is no chance of weight loss.

Weight loss doesn't always work that way. That many calories could be 2 massive healthy meals, or it could be a few chocolate bars that are offering no nutrition, not filling you up and making you crave more crap. Either way you're not eating enough, as you'd be losing weight and not hungry all the time if you were. Try googling clean eating and forget about calorie counting, I know that's a scary thought but you can definitely do it. You'll thank yourself in the long run

Anytime weight loss is mentioned on MN a whole slew of posters leap on with their dieting tips. No one has questioned the negative self image the OP has expressed because presumably it’s considered par for the course and normal. I’m sorry you feel bad OP…. I don’t think you sound hellishly overweight for your height. It is tricky to lose weight at this point - it’s really hard to shake the diet mindset ( or it is for me anyway). As we know (but choose to ignore )diets don’t work and ultimately fuck up your metabolism and for a great number of people they will re-gain the weight lost with a bit extra on top. Perhaps intuitive eating is something to explore?

It was a one off

I use MFP to calculate the calories and I'm very diligent about calculating and weighing everything.

I'm 52 this year and peri menopausal. Like you OP I am obsessed with my weight and not having photos taken which is just very sad at my age.

AmilyChestnut this is what I'm trying desperately hard to get into, eating clean! What would a typical day be for you meal/snack wise?

I'm just waiting for it to 'click' as another poster said!

I do calories and a serving of Huel is 400 calories. Its not something I'd normally eat but I like the fact its nutritious and (feel a bit like a broken record) is easy as I have a broken arm.

Thanks! Good points here.

I feel as though I eat very healthily and I'm not going to beat myself up about my dds cake. I'm hoping my self image might improve once I can go back to the gym.

Half a banana and some berries is likely over 100 cal and not 80. Minor difference but it shows the importance of portion sizes and understanding calories, a small slice of Lemon cake for example is usually over 300 calories, the heated up left overs, the home cooking, it’s incredibly difficult to get the accurate calorie content correct.

the point I’m trying to make is it’s incredibly easy to go over and mfp is notorious for grossly under estimating calorie content.

so the poster is right, if you’re not loosing its likely you’re over 1400, maybe only by 100 or 200 calories, but it will impact. In addition you need to average it over a week, so any slips and it means a stall.

for me low carb works, not no carb, there is no such thing, or it’s very difficult, even cucumber has carbs, but I take out sugar, and simple carbs and I find all cravings and quite frankly stress and guess work goes and I can manage to loose weight easily with no feeling of hunger or deprivation

the bottom line is, if you’re not losing it’s because you are eating too much v your energy output.

OK- I'm sure you are right about the shakes, but I have a broken arm so find putting two scoops of powder in a blender with some water isneasier than chopping things or even opening lots of jars and packets.

Ok so if you don't eat cake/biscuits very often then your diet sounds very healthy to me and you are active too.

Looking at your height/weight again, you are probably only slightly overweight aren't you, like a comfortable size 14 maybe? I think that is perfectly fine and maybe you only look bad in photos in your head.

It's hard in your mid 50s. I'm the same age and a size 16 and will have a higher BMI than you though I'm currently dieting to try to get down to a 14. A size 12 would be nice but I don't know if any lower than that is achievable at my age without starving myself and being miserable which I'm not prepared to do.

the point I’m trying to make is it’s incredibly easy to go over and mfp is notorious for grossly under estimating calorie content

Do you have a more accurate calorie guide? Most places say a medium banana is 100 calories so half would be 50. A few blueberries and three strawberries can't be 50 calories.

Thank you. Yes I'm a size 14. I feel huge. It's quite sad as I've never been this bothered before.

I'm loads more overweight than you so I wouldn't presume to give dietary advice but just one point on exercise...Could you not use a bike - upright or recumbent -at the gym or even do spin classes? I can no longer walk far or fast enough to burn useful calories but the gym bike is a lifesaver, burning around 400 calories in 40 mins.

I can't drive so can't get there! I have had tonpause my gym membership until arm heals. I am walking twice a day instead so just under 6k a day.

@Bintle I completely missed the bit about the broken arm, my apologies. Im sure once you are more active after the arm has healed you'll feel better.