I am getting obsessed with not losing weight and it's making me unhappy.

[Bintle]

I'm mid fifties. On HRT. Either 5 7 or 5 8, not sure! Weigh 13 stone. I've put 10lbs on since beginning of December- living away from home for a week looking after an ill relative started it, then Christmas, then I injured myself (broken arm) and currently can't drive or go to the gym.

I am OBSESSED with looking fat. I won't have my photo taken at all, assume I'm the fattest person in the room. I'm worried that my dh doesn't find me attractive any more. I am constantly worrying about food.

I've started trying to walk 10000 steps a day but I've aggravated my broken arm somehow so really need to rest.

I'm drinking a Huel shake with fruit in it every morning which I enjoy. I bought this to make sure I got enough nutrients and protein to heal my arm and because cooking isn't the easiest. Lunch will be a tuna salad or some heated up leftovers. Last night we had quiche and salad for dinner then I had a skyr yogurt. Today its fish stew. I barely drink alcohol. Dd3 is doing exams and stressed so to relax she makes cakes which I'd feel ridiculous saying I can't eat a slice of cake because I'm dieting so I ate a couple of slices (delicious!). I'm obsessively weighing myself and already dreading my holiday in 6 weeks.

I have a break from the progesterone part of my HRT for 5 days and during that time I do seem to drop a couple of pounds.

It's making me really unhappy and I'm piling the pressure on myself.

I think the OP will be aware that she needs to choose between eating more than she needs and losing weight. Patronising much?

Yes I will occasionally have a slice of cake!

I remember a study I read which found that after age 30 every 10 years you need to eat 100 calories less a day to maintain your current weight (or you will naturally gain weight) because your metabolism slows down that much as you age.

So in mid 50s you'll need to eat 250 calories a day less than when you were in your 30s just to maintain your weight - to lose it you'll unfortunately need to cut even more.

No one is piling on. She proactively started a thread saying she felt massive was obsessed and unhappy.

im not sure eat the cake is going to solve that for her, however, it is fair to say it’s the advice she favours.

The cake was not a regular thing as already established.

We don't live like robots. You have turned this thread negative with your harsh tone.

Thank you. I think it's probably quite possible to very occasionally eat cake/have a glass of wine/eat a sausage roll in a pub after a long walk and not be overweight. I just have to get there. In happier news I haven't actually gained weight in the last two weeks.

This is what I find. Sadly. Cutting portions has been effective for me. I don't MFP, as I said earlier, but I do measure out my carbs- my big vice- in a small bowl. It's joyless, but what can you do....

I eat cake and chips occasionally when I go out with friends. I just try to eat less at the next meal for balance.

Of course it is. I have a friend who has always been a size 10 (she weighs herself every week and cuts back as soon as she notices a weight gain, which I wish I had started to do years ago!) and even she eats cake sometimes, has a glass or two of wine sometimes when eating out etc.

Yes it is. I have cake. I eat biscuits and chocolates every day. I eat pizza and fish and chips. I have a healthy BMI (generally around 21, sometimes 22). The key thing is not to focus on the individual slice of cake but the big picture. I get away with eating these treats because generally over a week I won't consume more calories than I need. I also burn over 500 calories a day through walking a lot. This really helps to stop the weight piling on.
I eat brunch and dinner each day, not 3 meals. This is because I prefer to eat two large meals than three lighter meals. If I was eating breakfast, lunch and dinner, getting no exercise and also having the daily chocolates and biscuits then yes - I would most definitely be overweight.

Right I'm off for a walk!

Try a fast. Weight yourself self at the beginning and then at the end. I think it’s often easier to eat nothing and it will prove to you that it’s what you are consuming across the week that’s doing it.

Well I already know it must be calories in calories out, so a fast will reduce calories and probably work. I'm wary of fasting because I'm older and when I was young fasting would have been seen as an eating disorder.

Gosh @SallyWD how do you burn 500 per day just by walking? I walk a LOT because I am in London and just build it into my day, but even 1.30 hours of walking only burns about 250. I can't sustain any other form of exercise sadly, as it's just too boring.

@Bintle I am not so keen on fasting for days, but have you tried 16: 8? Which means just eating for 8 hours a day. I stop eating at 7 and have my next meal at 11 ish. I too used to think of fasting as an eating disorder, but given I have diabetes in my family, I tried it and it helps a lot.

Yes I have tried 16.8 and am trying again this week. So haven't eaten yet. Late dinners are difficult but I think I'm just going to have to eat before everyone else.

You don't need to fast - I think the PP was just making the point that a calorie deficit will result in weight loss. It's a fact. As others have said, medication/hormones etc don't make you gain weight in themselves. It's the amount of food you eat. Obviously you may be hungrier!

I don't mean to be patronising - I just think just east to deny how much you are really eating. I put weight on some years ago and when I lost it I was shocked by how hungry I was initially.

Also exercise burns very little and it's easy to over-reward yourself (speaks from guilty experience!). I exercise for cardiovascular health, bones etc but don't factor it into weight.

I think are lots of medications that make you gain weight/harder to lose weight. Jury is out whether HRT is one if them.

And if hormones or aging doesn't play a part then why was I so slim in my younger years?! Despite eating absolute shite most of the time!

I do around 15,000 steps a day (to and from work, school etc) and my fitness watch tells me I burn around 500 calories each day. It definitely keeps my weight down. There was a period of a few months where I walked half as much but ate exactly the same. I put on 12lbs!

Hormones or aging definitely play a part. I used to be a size 6 in my 20s, a size 8 until my 40s, despite eating rice twice a day and plenty of sugar. Now a size 10-12 and have to work hard to stay that way. It's deeply frustrating.

I walked 3k yesterday and my app said that was about 190 calories. A useful amount.

Probably because weight creeps on gradually. Even if you gained say 2lbs a year, that would be 20lb between 20 and 40 for a start!

Sorry, 40lbs!!

That's not what happened though. I've put on a stone in a year since switching HRT.

Well, ultimately I think 1400 will make you lose weight but very slowly - say 0.5lb a week at most, which can be frustrating.

1200 more like 1lb per week.

It's just not possible NOT to lose weight with a calorie deficit.

Have you tried Aquafit? I’ve started that and quite enjoy it as like the music. Plus no one can see if you mess up the routine as your body is underwater.