I am getting obsessed with not losing weight and it's making me unhappy.

[Bintle]

I'm mid fifties. On HRT. Either 5 7 or 5 8, not sure! Weigh 13 stone. I've put 10lbs on since beginning of December- living away from home for a week looking after an ill relative started it, then Christmas, then I injured myself (broken arm) and currently can't drive or go to the gym.

I am OBSESSED with looking fat. I won't have my photo taken at all, assume I'm the fattest person in the room. I'm worried that my dh doesn't find me attractive any more. I am constantly worrying about food.

I've started trying to walk 10000 steps a day but I've aggravated my broken arm somehow so really need to rest.

I'm drinking a Huel shake with fruit in it every morning which I enjoy. I bought this to make sure I got enough nutrients and protein to heal my arm and because cooking isn't the easiest. Lunch will be a tuna salad or some heated up leftovers. Last night we had quiche and salad for dinner then I had a skyr yogurt. Today its fish stew. I barely drink alcohol. Dd3 is doing exams and stressed so to relax she makes cakes which I'd feel ridiculous saying I can't eat a slice of cake because I'm dieting so I ate a couple of slices (delicious!). I'm obsessively weighing myself and already dreading my holiday in 6 weeks.

I have a break from the progesterone part of my HRT for 5 days and during that time I do seem to drop a couple of pounds.

It's making me really unhappy and I'm piling the pressure on myself.

I don't do MFP or calorie count. However, I think it helps that my diet is mostly Asian vegetarian minus the rice, and cooked from scratch, so no processed food.

I definitely yo yo a lot, but in the past month my weight appears to have stabilised.

This time last year I was so fed up with the weight creeping and generally feeling crap and achy. I was weighing myself a few times a week and then felt miserable.
After me moaning a lot, My dh got me a 10 week course with a pt and hid the scales ! It was completely liberating. I told the pt I didn’t want to be weighed and just work on building muscle.
I feel so much better and haven’t weighed myself once this year, I’ve kept the exercise up and changed my body shape completely. I have no clue if I’ve lost weight.
I realise the exercise might be difficult at the moment but lifting weights and stopping obsessing about the scales has been life changing.

What are your portion sizes like, OP? That's where I was "failing". I was simply eating more than I needed. Though at the moment you might need larger sizes to recover.

Vegetarian minus the rice? Just vegetables then? Plus a few beans and pulses?

I don't do diets as they don't work for me

But being overweight is not working for you @ohtowinthelottery A ‘diet’ is just a word for what food you eat. If you are doing that much exercise and still overweight, then clearly it is about calorie intake. Breezily dismissing diets could cost you good health and happiness.

I love weightlifting but not sure I'll ever be able tondo it again, which is really sad. I'll be able to do lower body stuff but at the moment can't get to the gym and don't want to push myself too much as its a bad break and needs to stay still for another few weeks. I agree weights are amazing.

Then it’s portion size. You’re simply eating too much. The fact it’s healthy won’t make you loose weight you need to also manage portion sizes.

I'm going to use up what I've bought then think again. They've been really good to be fair, I have a lot more energy since drinking them and although they are 400 cals I then eat a much smaller lunch than I normally would. My orthopedic surgeon actually recommended them!

Ah, thanks. I tend to input the nutritional info on the tins and packets so that must be correct but obviously things like fruit and veg don't have that. Have to make an educated guess at things I cook myself although I'm quite efficient about weighing and measuring.

Could it be the progesterone causing the weight gain? I’m on HRT too and on progesterone days I put on so much weight-lots of it is water but I’ve put on nearly a stone recently
my boobs look so matronly 😏and feel that’s what making me look fatter and older than I am

Vegetables, fruit, eggs, beans, pulses, cheese, tofu. A tiny bit of rice, noodles, bread and oats but much reduced.

I started HRT this month, so will have to see how I do on that.

I think so. I have a six day gap every month and ALWAYS lose 2lbs during it.

I've changed to a new type of hrt. I used to be on tablets but changed to oestrogel and utrogestan in October, about 2 months before weight gain kicked in.

Good Luck.
I couldn’t personally cope with that small a range of food as I love eating different things! But I have to lose weight so I’ve cut down drastically with the snacking on crisps & chocolate which is my personal downfall.
Also limiting wine now to special occasions.

It's not a small range of food really. Millions of people eat like this:) But I am not advocating it for other people. It's just part of my culture.

I eat chocolate or cake or crisps once in a while, on weekends. And drink occasionally. I just don't do it every day.

@Twiglets1 it's really not a small range of food. There are so many varieties of vegetables, pulses, beans etc.. and so many different ways to cook them and season them. It's a whole different world. For dinner this eve I've had garlic roast potatoes and bean stew, all from scratch and non processed. Last night I had whole meal pasta (which I do allow if I want it) and home made sauce with pumpkin pesto, delicious. Tomorrow will likely be tofu and sun dried tomatoes fried with soy sauce and brown rice, with whatever veg I fee like chucking in there. These are just a few ideas for anyone wanting to try it, delicious and nutritious.

That all sounds delicious but I'm not sure my gut would handle all that fibre - another lovely side effect.of aging

I've also struggled with Ibs for a long time, I've always had an overactive bowel, but the way I eat now with so much fibre, I need to make sure I drink lots of water so I can pass my bm but I'm the most normal I've ever been, digestion wise. I do understand everyone is different though. I don't follow anything in particular, I don't eat dairy, eggs or meat

@Bintle that's fair enough. I hope you can find happiness and a level ground soon, being unhappy in your own skin can be all consuming, I'm sending good vibes your way

It's a small range of food compared to the range of food I eat which is all those things you mention plus meat & fish.

Still, each to their own.

Breakfast (only if absolutely starving): scrambled eggs made with splash milk and bit of butter

Lunch: salad with tuna, cottage cheese, hard boiled egg, chicken breast, tinned beans, etc etc. Splash homemade vinegaretre

Dinner:
Meat and two veg, casseroles, jacket potato with roasted veg and cod/baked chicken, pork chop.

No alcohol,no sugar, no white carbs.

Op. Medication doesn’t make us gain weight as such, it can make us hungrier, so we eat more and gain, but the medication itself doesn’t just lead to weight gain, you need to eat enough to do that.

. So if it is the hormones, then it fundamentally means you’re eating too much. Does that make sense?

it also might mean you have water retention, which is the 2lbs you’d lose, but are you sure your weight is all water and no fat? Because likely it’s just that one to two pounds.

you need to be careful you’re not trying to find something to blame. Because if you do. Then it takes away responsibility from you and you will continue to feel as low as you do now.

you can keep trying to diet, and keep feeling like shit. Keep drinking calorific huel shakes, eating two slices of cake if the occasion calls for it, and blaming hrt. Or uou can understand rhe basic principle of if you’re overweight and remaining so, it’s because you’re eating too much v your energy output.

so you need to decide what you want more. The food or the weight. It really is a straight choice.

Pick your poison, eat as much as you are, stay over weight, eat less, loose weight. It’s your choice which one.

Drinking a huel shake for breakfast is not the worst thing you can do on a calorie controlled.diet. I'm sorry but it just isn't. It's not something I'd want to do long term but it's really not much different to a protein shake or a blended oats and fruit thing.

I've eaten around 1300 calories today and feel happy and full.

I take your point about the cake. I'm pretty sure HRT DOES make it harder to lose weight for some people, we can't all be stuffing iur faces in secret.

God, are we really at the point of piling on someone as they ate a slice of cake?

Eat the fucking cake!

I think it’s unlikely you wouldn’t loose weight on 1400 calories.. people do overestimate. Do you think you’re really tracking everything right?