Going to cry! - can't lose weight!

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I am at the end of my tether and don't know what to do! I feel like I am on the verge of a breakdown because I can't cope with my weight.

For backstory - I have always been overweight and my confidence is affected (I don't go out and socialise and I haven't had a relationship in years), I have tried most diets (cabbage soup, military, low carb etc).

I realized after years of dieting that I was still overweight so I decided to try and stop fad diets and just start eating healthy.
My normal day would be:
breakfast - porridge
Mid-morning snack - banana
Lunch - Sandwich, orange, grapes, strawberries
Afternoon snack - apple
Dinner - various
Snack - melon and grapes
Weekends - eat a lot more and usually include wine

I then put on 1 and 1/2 stone (probably the heaviest I've ever been) and I went into depression and stopped visiting my family or going outside as little as possible. I read somewhere that some people overeat on healthy foods - which is completely true as I don't really eat junk food like chocolate or crisps unless its a special occasion and didn't count my fruit calories.

So starting on the 1st April I decided to count the calories of everything including fruit and cups of tea etc and cut down on my fruit intake. I have also cut out 1 meal a day so having 2 meals instead of 1. I walk 30-60mins per day and exercise at home for 30-60mins per day too.
My average calorie intake is 1000, my goals are 1200 per day but can fluctuate between 800 and 1200. MFP won't let you record anything under 1200. I also round all my calories up.

My average day is:
Breakfast - nothing
Lunch - Salad with cheese (lettuce, cucumber, pepper, small amount of cheese)
Snack - small yoghurt pot
Dinner - soup (no bread) every other day, normal dinner other days (spag bol, sausage & mash, stir fry etc)
Snack - orange, apple, grapes, ice lolly, - only 1 or 2 per day
Weekends - Up to 2000cals - cheese toastie, curry etc
This weekend was my bday so I had a takeaway - pizza and chips I don't the exact calories but I didn't eat anything else that day.

I thought by simply cutting out my breakfast it would see me lose a couple of lbs a week. I was hoping for an initial 3lbs a week but would be happy to be 1lb.

So 5 weeks later I should be at least half a stone down - but no I have put on 5lbs!!!!!

Please tell me what I am doing wrong!
If I go under 800cals then I don't have the energy to work out as hard and I really don't want to go on some fad diet where I will lose water weight one week and then put it back on the second.

I am 5'7" and at the moment 15stone I get so frustrated with myself as I am not not doing anything about it and it is all I think about from the second I wake up to the second I go to sleep.

Please don't judge me as it has taken a lot to come on here and to be so honest.

So firstly, you need to add your calories up weekly, not daily.

For example, if you're eating 1000 a day for 5 days, but then for 2 days you're eating 2500 (2500 is easily doable with pizza and chips) you're actually not 'under eating' at all over the course of the week.

Secondly, skipping breakfast can work as fasting, but only if you don't over eat through out the day.

Fruit is very calorific/sugary, you'd be better of snacking on a few carrots etc. As are yoghurts very sugary.

Portion sizes play a huge amount. You're only meant to have a thumb size bit of cheese each day, but it's very easy to go over that. Same with pasta etc, portion sizes are much smaller than people think.

As for exercise, you'd be better of doing HIIT. Most people think they're doing lots of exercise because they've done an hour, when actually it isn't that much. Do a 20 minute hard focused session instead.

I would say just for a week or so, measure/weigh your portions etc until you get confident with sizes, and record everything you eat on MFP

Oh and also, if you were eating 1000 calories a day, you would absolutely lose weight as that's less than the amount your body simply needs to function, so you're obviously eating more. Where I don't know, but you must be (very easily done. Lots of people don't realise exactly what they're eating)

OP, I have been where you are it's so frustrating.

I have a book recommendation for you - The Obesity Code by Dr Jason Fung. He talks about why the "calories in, calories out" weight loss model is a lie, we all have personal experience of why it doesn't work. His opinion is that obesity is due to hormone imbalance rather than calorie imbalance and what he has to say makes a lot of sense.

2007Millie

Thank you for your advice. I am definitely eating between 800-1200 per week day as I always round up eg 180 I round up to 200. I think as I used to eat a lot of fruit this used to be the case so I have been really strict with counting them. I think as you say I am not doing it as a whole week so I may be making up the calories on the weekends. So I think I need to work it out over a week instead of just per day.

RosieMapleLeaf

Thank you for that. I will definitely read it.

Also I am doing Joe wicks.

Are there any youtube videos or anything that I can get HIIT ideas from?

When you say you're recording accurately are you weighing and using the barcode scanner?

It seems like you're not eating a lot and then possibly binging? Have you tried slimming world? I didn't think it would work but I've lost 2 stone going from 11sf to 9sf. Can't recommend it enough!

I would say letting go at the weekends is not the way to kickstart your loss. It might mean that your calories over the course of the week are actually just enough to maintain rather than lose. Can you follow you plan at the weekends too for a month or so and see how it goes? I see you said skipping breakfast; can you turn this into 16:8 fasting? So start eating at 12 (have lunch - just enough till you are full), a light snack at 4ish (I normally have watermelon or another watery fruit) and then dinner at 6-7 - eat it off a side plate so you don't give yourself more than you need. Don't eat after 8pm. For exercise, I agree that HIIT is a good idea for fat burning, or regular swimming. I lost 15kg like this, never actually counted a calorie but was very disciplined about my eating pattern in the 8 hour window. About once every two weeks DH and get in a takeaway at the weekend, but I didn't do this for the first couple of months while I got started on my weight loss.

I'm weighing it but not using the barcode scanner I've not heard of that before. I'll definitely look into it.

I definitely used to binge as I would just not eat and then binge until I was sick. I thought I had got a grasp on it now though but maybe I haven't!
I think I'm going to really watch I eat on the weekends to make sure I am not going silly and eating calories without realising.
I am too nervous to do slimming world or weight watchers as I don't want to be weighed in front of people. And not losing or gaining in front of people would be horrible!

I’ve struggled with calorie counting before. It’s difficult to judge how many calories are in the homemade meals I make and I probably tended to underestimate. Also I would eat a healthy breakfast, a healthy lunch then do some emotional snacking in the afternoon (stress chocolate, boredom biscuits). Honestly, I have zero willpower.
I’m now skipping breakfast every day except for Sunday when I allow myself a lovely croissant. It’s a form of fasting, the 16:8, where you eat within an 8 hour window.
It’s working for me. I’ve lost 3.5 lb in just over two weeks. And it’s very easy. I’m not even sticking to it religiously, I still eat biscuits and chocolate, just a lot less than before. The hunger becomes absolutely fine after a while- I think it’s got me to think about when I’m actually hungry, rather than when I just fancy something.
It helps that I enjoy exercise. I do 15000 steps a day, either walking or running.
I would recommend the Michael Mosley book, fast 800 , as it spells out all the health benefits of fasting and has some delicious recipes.

Ploughingthrough

Yes I am going to try that. The only reason I do let myself eat treats on the weekend is that I was fed up of the 'diets' so I wanted a lifestyle change and this way I stick to the plan as I know I can have a treat on the weekends.

If I ate 1000cals a day and then saved up 200 per day and used these up on the weekend so had 1500cals a day on sat and sun would this work? Or do I need to stick to 1200 every day?

Nuffaluff

That's the trouble I have found I am eating more non-homemade foods just so I can count calories easier but these are probably packed with a lot more sugar than homemade things. Eg I ate a tin of soup for dinner last night which was 200kcals but if I homemade it I would have probably had double the portion or not counted it correctly.

I will definitely try this 16:8 thing as I don't eat in the evenings much anyway and I am finding skipping breakfast really easy.

I will also read that book too thank you.

Being honest, what do you drink?

Sugar-free drinks are shit for your metabolism, and fizz and alcohol do have calories in them ...

I'm on a weird 'diet' at the moment because of inflammatory arthritis and I've had to have a cold, hard look at what I drink. Far too much wine, far too much milk in hot drinks (and caffeine), and waaaaay too many non-homemade soups. (I got lazy because my hands hurt.)

I wish you well, I truly do.

Don't skip breakfast it's so important

Set a time to eat between eg 8-4 or 10-6 and NO food outside those hours, kitchen is closed.

Mix it up rather than just fruit for snacks

I personally couldn't stick to a diet like that long term

I loved SlimmingWorld and lost about 3 stone on it, it did become a bit monotonous but it worked. I ate lots of eggs, lean meat, proper dinners but limited dairy and bread intake and made a lot of things from scratch so there were no hidden calories.

Most importantly it's about your mental state, you need to be motivated and want it for yourself and not to please anyone else

Good luck

RP diet has an app and a long free trial at the moment. it's very popular with athletes but because it's very clear and easy to follow there are amazing results from very overweight people too. check out the Instagram page.
it's not just about calories in and out but the timing if them, the timing and amounts of carbs to fat ratio etc.

I drink 2-3 cups of tea a day with milk and sugar which I have been including in my calories. But I did loads of squash. But I don't count these. At work I only drink water but I haven't been drinking much water on it's own since lockdown so I think that is something i will change that I haven't actually thought of before, thank you. I used to drink a bottle of wine per weekend but now it is probably every other weekend at the most. Again I probably don't look at these calories because it's the weekend so they don't count - I am starting to see where I am going wrong.

Thank you very much. I hope your arthritis gets better.

Thank you littlefawn I am going to struggle not having breakfast when I go back to work as I am up at 5am whereas now I sleep a lot longer so it is so much easier to skip it. I was hoping to skip it and lose a decent amount so then re-introduce it once I was back at work.
I am so worried about trying anything like SW or WW but it does seem to work for a lot of people.

I think it sounds like you actually have an eating disorder - so the solution (not easy!!) is to address the issues causing your eating disorder - and then your issues with diet, weight etc will naturally resolve.

I don't say this flippantly. This is not easy to do. But exploring emotional issues regarding your body, possible past traumas etc would likely to be of great help.

Baskininthegarden

Thank you I will look this up.

Breakfast really isn't important

FFSFFSFFS

I would actually agree as I have a really unhealthy, negative relationship with food. I'm not sure where I would go for help with this but it does sound like a good idea as it does rule my entire life. Thank you.

I agree that your weekends are undoing your hard work. You're eating a maintenance amount - I understand what you are saying about allowing yourself a treat as it's a lifestyle change and not a diet, but you need to lose the weight first or it won't happen. What you are doing now is what people of a normal weight do - eat healthily the majority of the time and then treats at the weekend. You won't lose weight doing this.

If you want a weekend treat, do it as one meal, it doesnt need to be a whole 48 hour period.

All your snacks are sweet, can you switch to veg or savoury snacks?

catinb0oots

At the moment this is the easiest meal to skip for me and the quickest way for me to drop 300kcals per day without missing them. But there is so much controversy over it as so many people will say it is the most important meal of the day.