Going to cry! - can't lose weight!

[Usersafe4]

I am at the end of my tether and don't know what to do! I feel like I am on the verge of a breakdown because I can't cope with my weight.

For backstory - I have always been overweight and my confidence is affected (I don't go out and socialise and I haven't had a relationship in years), I have tried most diets (cabbage soup, military, low carb etc).

I realized after years of dieting that I was still overweight so I decided to try and stop fad diets and just start eating healthy.
My normal day would be:
breakfast - porridge
Mid-morning snack - banana
Lunch - Sandwich, orange, grapes, strawberries
Afternoon snack - apple
Dinner - various
Snack - melon and grapes
Weekends - eat a lot more and usually include wine

I then put on 1 and 1/2 stone (probably the heaviest I've ever been) and I went into depression and stopped visiting my family or going outside as little as possible. I read somewhere that some people overeat on healthy foods - which is completely true as I don't really eat junk food like chocolate or crisps unless its a special occasion and didn't count my fruit calories.

So starting on the 1st April I decided to count the calories of everything including fruit and cups of tea etc and cut down on my fruit intake. I have also cut out 1 meal a day so having 2 meals instead of 1. I walk 30-60mins per day and exercise at home for 30-60mins per day too.
My average calorie intake is 1000, my goals are 1200 per day but can fluctuate between 800 and 1200. MFP won't let you record anything under 1200. I also round all my calories up.

My average day is:
Breakfast - nothing
Lunch - Salad with cheese (lettuce, cucumber, pepper, small amount of cheese)
Snack - small yoghurt pot
Dinner - soup (no bread) every other day, normal dinner other days (spag bol, sausage & mash, stir fry etc)
Snack - orange, apple, grapes, ice lolly, - only 1 or 2 per day
Weekends - Up to 2000cals - cheese toastie, curry etc
This weekend was my bday so I had a takeaway - pizza and chips I don't the exact calories but I didn't eat anything else that day.

I thought by simply cutting out my breakfast it would see me lose a couple of lbs a week. I was hoping for an initial 3lbs a week but would be happy to be 1lb.

So 5 weeks later I should be at least half a stone down - but no I have put on 5lbs!!!!!

Please tell me what I am doing wrong!
If I go under 800cals then I don't have the energy to work out as hard and I really don't want to go on some fad diet where I will lose water weight one week and then put it back on the second.

I am 5'7" and at the moment 15stone I get so frustrated with myself as I am not not doing anything about it and it is all I think about from the second I wake up to the second I go to sleep.

Please don't judge me as it has taken a lot to come on here and to be so honest.

@baskin what's RP please?

Rumpusinthejungle

Yes you are right. I thought if I dieted to loose weight then once I had stopped I would put it all back on again.
I will swap my sweet snacks to veg. What would be good savoury snacks? I worry about high carb content as people say this is bad too.

Dont worry about the carb content from veg if you're eating spaghetti and potatoes.

Cucumber and carrot sticks are always an easy snack. Cold cooked meats. Hard boiled eggs - do a big batch.

I'm sorry if my message came across harsher than I meant. I'm currently at 260lbs so far heavier tha you are! But I'm down 20lbs in the past few weeks from low carb.

Make sure you are drinking lots of water too. And if you're hungry, eat. Dont starve yourself for the sake of weight loss as you'll end up binging. Try to pay attention to what you're eating and eat unti satiated. If youre hungry, eat only enough for you to not be hungry any more. Save the rest for when you're next hungry.

I have never done SW so can't speak for them but please don't worry about joining WW.

You don't have to weigh in front of everyone - only your leader. No one else will know whether you've gained or lost unless you to choose to share it. The meetings are good but there's no pressure to talk in them - you can just sit and listen if that's what you're more comfortable doing. When lockdown restrictions are eased and meetings reopen then I would look into joining a group. They're bound to have some special offers on to encourage people back in to meetings.

Rumpusinthejungle

No not at all! I know I am doing something wrong so I really appreciate everyone's helpful advice. Especially from those who have managed to loose weight! Well done on your weight loss you have done brilliantly!
I will definitely try all of those things you suggest they are really helpful.

Puddlesplasher

That is good to know. I have heard so many people saying they have lost weight without starving themselves. But I knew they weighed you when you were there so I thought it was in front of everyone - so that's really good to know. I am also quite shy and don't like talking about my weight issues in front of people so that is good to know that you are not forced to talk. It is nice that you are in the same boat with other people.

Cut sugar out - and most carbs. No sugar in drinks.

Definitely read the Obesity Code by Jason Fung. I struggled for around 10 (or 15?) years to lose 2 stone until I managed to stop having sugar/carbs. Finally have lost that 2 stone and stayed at the lower weight. I was put in the right mind set to do it though, as was found to be pre-diabetic - which put the fear of God into me!

It is hard, but it can be done. Sugar is an addiction - but once kicked into touch there are a lot of benefits.. My blood pressure is lower, and I have massively reduced the amount of drugs I take for rheumatoid arthritis - and my knees feel so much better. Also - love wearing smaller trousers/jeans etc.

Best of luck to you.

@itbemay1 renaissanceperiodization.com
its strict, although if you get into the facebook group there are loads of good recepie ideas and other people to ask questions and help out.

I find its 100% perfect if you can stick with it.
The app version allows you to pick the foods you have and it tells you exactly how much to weigh out for each meal, and you eat frequently so you dont get hungry-in fact it feels like you cant possibly eat more sometimes, but if you trust the process I'd challenge anyone to do 8- 12 weeks on it and not lose a tonne of fat, gain muscle and feel amazing on it.

leafygarden

Did you count calories too? And did you cut out things like fruit?

As someone of similar weight and finding it hard to lose weight (menopause, insomnia)

I find the amount I sleep directly affects my weight.
I sleep 8 hours+ (only 3 times since August 2018) and the weight falls off me. I can lose 4lbs in a day.
If I sleep only 3 hours I put weight on.

It bears no relation to the food I eat.

The only time I ever lost a lot of weight was doing the fat sick and nearly dead juicing diet. Then Dp got ill and it all went out the window.

I also weigh myself everyday

Due to going through the menopause and feeling like I am stuck at this weight I have been doing a lot of reading and research because calories in versus calories out don’t seem to work.

I have sugar in my coffee. I can go all day without eating and just live off cups of coffee sometimes if I am working. (Quite a physical job)
I might lose a pound whilst other people could lose 4 or 5 if they didn’t eat all day and just drank coffee.

I have been reading about cortisol levels and insulin resistance which makes it nigh on impossible to shift the pounds

Yesterday I started back on the juicing but just had one big juice at breakfast and then dinner which was virtually carb free.
2 vegetarian burgers, salad and veg, olive oil and balsamic vinegar on my salad. Massive plateful of food and was stuffed.
No coffee, no dairy, no wheat, no added sugar, and no fruit after the morning juice which also has vegetables in.
5hours sleep

Down 2lbs

Started again today and will do the same as yesterday.

Sometimes it isn’t about how much you eat and more about what you eat and when you eat it.

I’ve started going to slimming world. Some people, even the slimmer ones, loose 3lb + every week. However, others, like me, only loose one pound (if I’m lucky). I guess it’s down to metabolism, because I don’t feel I’m doing anything wrong.

I find my biggest losses are when I reduce carbs. So if I have a sandwich for lunch, I won’t eat potatoes in the evening. I buy cauliflower rice (frozen) to substitute for rice.

I do know I need to increase my exercise, but After being ill, I’m conscious of not over doing it.

My break through was 16:8 fasting and just no snacks, just water and black coffee between meals. But I sometimes have three meals, so breakfast (at lunchtime), a salad a few hours later and dinner.

Have you heard of a book called ‘How not to diet’ by a Dr Michael Greger? It’s very good (although big!).

I’ve also downloaded his free app, called the Daily Dozen which is so useful. It’s made me eat more but I am losing a bit of weight (every bit helps!) and feel much healthier. I’d go so far as to say it has really changed the way I eat and what I want to eat - my taste preferences are changing as I follow it, less keen on sugar white bread etc. (One tip - I’ve found it only moves on a day if you switch your phone off briefly).

Also, I’ve found adopting a plant based diet helped. No dairy or meat. (If you do this, remember to supplant B12 and to think hard about whether you’re eating the right foods to get the nutrients you need.)

If you’re struggling with self esteem, a good book is one by Dr Christopher Fairburn on binge eating. Obviously it is aimed at people who binge eat (absolutely not suggesting you do) but I think it might be helpful to many more. It is very thought provoking, compassionate & sensible & I believe recommended by the NHS.

In general terms, what strikes me perhaps about your diet is that there’s quite a bit of sweet & dairy & fruit, not so many beans, pulses, whole grains, nuts, seeds, green veg. The Daily Dozen app would really help with that! I’d encourage you to give it a try. It’s free after all!

I think it’s worth mentioning that there is such a thing as TOO much of a calorie deficit. If you’re not eating enough, your body clings on to every kcal it receives and more is stored as fat. It gets so confusing with dieting but eat better (not necessarily less: a whole plate of broccoli is much better for you than a plate of doughnuts) and exercise more.

My advice would be to look into how much you should be eating with an online macro/kcal calculator - start there and tweak as you go if it doesn’t suit you. Eat whole foods, no sugar, look at a Mediterranean diet if that’s the kind of food you like?

Regarding exercise, HIIT is best it’ll get your hr up, not going to lie it is hard work and awful at first but it’s over so quickly. Go on YouTube and search beginner HIIT circuit and try to do 2 a week initially. I’d also advise doing some weight training, women can be so nervous to do it because they’ll look bulky but you really won’t ever unless you’re progressively overloading and it does so much for your body.

I know it’s overwhelming and it feels like you’re going nowhere but I promise you will if you just keep at it. And don’t binge drink on weekends! I put 2 stone on from alcohol intake alone. Try to have a couple of glasses of wine at the weekend with dinner if you really fancy it.

Good luck you can do it! It’s taken me a long time to research and get to where I want to be, and feel free to message me if I can help with links or anything xxx

Sometimes it isn’t about how much you eat and more about what you eat and when you eat it.

I think I'm going to look into this more as so many times I have heard people say you are not eating enough. Which doesn't make sense to me as surely the less you eat the more you loose. But I think they mean you're not eating enough of the right foods.

Look at the Fast800- since (peri)menopause nothing worked for me but I've lost well over 2.5st since the start of the year. Previouslyi rejoined SW and put on 1lb in 6 weeks. Not my finest moment.

I find my biggest losses are when I reduce carbs. So if I have a sandwich for lunch, I won’t eat potatoes in the evening. I buy cauliflower rice (frozen) to substitute for rice.

This is a good idea as I think I am eating quite low carb on most days but then eating loads of carbs on the weekends so my body can't process them all in one go.

I don't think you have an eating disorder. I think you're a person who has metabolic issues who has been told that if you reduce your calorie intake and increase your calorie output you will lose weight. You are doing this (to the extreme) and it's not working.

Please read the Jason Fung book mentioned above. There are also a Jason Fung Facebook group/you tube videos. Calories in versus calories out doesn't work when you have a messed up metabolism.

Also, there is nothing special about breakfast - myth invented by Kelloggs to sell cereal.

At my heaviest I weighed just over 15 stone. I've eaten a ketogenic diet for years now. I was a healthy weight within 6 months. And the best part is I stayed there, easily. I wasn't thinking about food all the time like on every other diet or lifestyle change. I stopped thinking about food. Best thing I've ever done for myself.

I’ve also downloaded his free app, called the Daily Dozen which is so useful. It’s made me eat more but I am losing a bit of weight (every bit helps!) and feel much healthier. I’d go so far as to say it has really changed the way I eat and what I want to eat

I think this sounds really good. I will definitely read all of the suggestions as I think I need to think about food and what I'm putting into my body instead of just focusing on calories.

I have never noticed that I eat a lot of dairy and fruit so I will definitely try and swap these for other things.

Lou9500

Thank you very much. I will do the calculator and definitely do more HIIT type exercises. I definitely need to control my weekend habits!

StaffordshireKnot

I will do definitely. I think fasting does seem a good way to go.

I actually think you need to get some blood tests. With that calorie intake over the week you should not be gaining weight. Do any of your close relatives have thyroid problems?

Please read the Jason Fung book mentioned above. There are also a Jason Fung Facebook group/you tube videos. Calories in versus calories out don't work when you have a messed up metabolism.

This sounds about right so I will definitely read this. And I am definitely someone who thinks about food way too much and so it would be nice to live a more normal life. I will definitely try this thank you.

The Mediterranean diet is great. It's when I lapsed from it that I had a flare-up of arthritis. Lesson learned.

It's really nice - lots of fish, green and black olives, green vegetables, salad vegetables, aubergines, tomato sauces, eggs, feta cheese, yogurt, beans and lentils, herbs and spices. The odd glass of wine. The occasional small flat bread or bulgar wheat or avocado.

It'll be easier to stick to after the lockdown, as I can't get out to shop much at present.

Do any of your close relatives have thyroid problems?

Not that I know of. I'm the odd one out in my family as they're all quite slim. I was too until about 9 and I put on loads of weight and struggled ever since whereas they all stay the same. If my mum or sister puts on weight they seem to be able to cut out biscuits or something for a couple of weeks and then loose it quite quickly.