Going to cry! - can't lose weight!

[Usersafe4]

I am at the end of my tether and don't know what to do! I feel like I am on the verge of a breakdown because I can't cope with my weight.

For backstory - I have always been overweight and my confidence is affected (I don't go out and socialise and I haven't had a relationship in years), I have tried most diets (cabbage soup, military, low carb etc).

I realized after years of dieting that I was still overweight so I decided to try and stop fad diets and just start eating healthy.
My normal day would be:
breakfast - porridge
Mid-morning snack - banana
Lunch - Sandwich, orange, grapes, strawberries
Afternoon snack - apple
Dinner - various
Snack - melon and grapes
Weekends - eat a lot more and usually include wine

I then put on 1 and 1/2 stone (probably the heaviest I've ever been) and I went into depression and stopped visiting my family or going outside as little as possible. I read somewhere that some people overeat on healthy foods - which is completely true as I don't really eat junk food like chocolate or crisps unless its a special occasion and didn't count my fruit calories.

So starting on the 1st April I decided to count the calories of everything including fruit and cups of tea etc and cut down on my fruit intake. I have also cut out 1 meal a day so having 2 meals instead of 1. I walk 30-60mins per day and exercise at home for 30-60mins per day too.
My average calorie intake is 1000, my goals are 1200 per day but can fluctuate between 800 and 1200. MFP won't let you record anything under 1200. I also round all my calories up.

My average day is:
Breakfast - nothing
Lunch - Salad with cheese (lettuce, cucumber, pepper, small amount of cheese)
Snack - small yoghurt pot
Dinner - soup (no bread) every other day, normal dinner other days (spag bol, sausage & mash, stir fry etc)
Snack - orange, apple, grapes, ice lolly, - only 1 or 2 per day
Weekends - Up to 2000cals - cheese toastie, curry etc
This weekend was my bday so I had a takeaway - pizza and chips I don't the exact calories but I didn't eat anything else that day.

I thought by simply cutting out my breakfast it would see me lose a couple of lbs a week. I was hoping for an initial 3lbs a week but would be happy to be 1lb.

So 5 weeks later I should be at least half a stone down - but no I have put on 5lbs!!!!!

Please tell me what I am doing wrong!
If I go under 800cals then I don't have the energy to work out as hard and I really don't want to go on some fad diet where I will lose water weight one week and then put it back on the second.

I am 5'7" and at the moment 15stone I get so frustrated with myself as I am not not doing anything about it and it is all I think about from the second I wake up to the second I go to sleep.

Please don't judge me as it has taken a lot to come on here and to be so honest.

On the weekend I would usually have pancakes or grilled cheese sandwiches for my lunch and then I would have a pizza or curry for my dinner. These are frozen or homemade (apart from last weekend)

Pizza is so bad for calories that I dont even bother buying it anymore, and def not a takeaway one as that's probably a whole days calories just in one pizza.

I'm pretty sure popcorn is okay for calories as long as you don't go mad.

James Smith and Ben Carpenter talk a lot of sense. James is great for straight talking (but sweary) and Ben for stats.

You sound like me -I only lose weight if I cut sugar out. As soon as it's back even in so called healthier carbs I put weight or can't shift it

Cut the fruit, squash, sugar In tea etc

Go to Richie Howie on facebook, ideally sign up. Sensible advice and amazing results.

Yes that is true I used to hate pizza but recently I have been craving it but I am going to look at it like think how much food you can eat all day that has the same calories as one pizza and still be full and satisfied.

I will definitely look all of those names up thank you. I don't mind swearing haha and Sally872 I like the idea of sensible advice. I think I look at all the wrong advice usually.

I will definitely look to cutting down on sugar as I never realised I ate much sugar as I don't eat sweets and chocolates etc so I think a little bit in tea is fine but I am actually eating quite a lot of it without thinking as you say in fruit, yoghurts, squash etc.

I joined RHFitness off the back of Mumsnet last year. Stuck to the cals and steps but unfortunately only lost 2lbs abs there i stuck. I think you either have to eat less than recommended or really through yourself into the exercise/weights side of things.

Thanks OP, your post made me read up on Dr Jason Fung's The Obesity Code. Too much insulin making my body store fat really makes sense for my situation. I'm cutting out sugar and processed carbs from today. Intermittent fasting between 11am-5pm which I had started, but hadn't cut out sugar (including fruit).

You've had all sorts of advice on this thread, but I think, OP, it would really help you to write down absolutely everything you eat and drink over a week without trying to restrict your calorie intake. Weigh or measure, depending on your kitchen scales, the cordial, the fruit: everything. Write down what time you ate/drank whatever it was. At the end of the week, write down all the calories, add them all up and divide by 7. That will give you a true picture of your intake. Look for patterns. Does your energy crash after eating x and you end up eating y? Think about what changes you could make for the better without feeling deprived.

From there, decide on your course of action, but don't set yourself up to fail by limiting your calories so much that it all falls by the wayside when you reward yourself for your Herculean efforts at the weekend.

I've lost lots of weight using the Blood Sugar Diet (Michael Moseley), but I'm eating more calories and having a more varied diet following a gym programme which is low fat and high protein. Carbs are allowed, just limited. It's not easy, but you don't put on weight overnight so can't expect it to drop off overnight either. Concentrate on developing a healthier relationship with food and stop lying to yourself about what you are consuming. You are just setting yourself up to fail.

I have struggled to lose weight for years , tried ww and mfp and all sorts of other stuff .. I also have a thyroid issue which means losing weight although not impossible is tricky .. in vegan so don't eat fatty stuff and I could not understand why I was overweight.. anyhoo during lockdown I've joined slimming world and have lost 11lbs so far . I don't know why it's different as I'm not eating majorly diffenrtly but I was desperate and it seems to be working.. it seems to be hated on here ( along with other paid for diets ) but maybe worth a shot .

I've been following a similar plan. Mine is overnight Oats for breakfast 200 cals, salad and chicken/sandwich for lunch 500 cals. Normal dinner of around 800. No snacks, no sugar, no eating after dinner. Regular bedtime/wake up time. No caffeine after 12.

I've been losing slowly but steadily. I have one evening off per week, where I have a few drinks, crisps and chocolates, but don't have dinner.

I think you need to get away from the idea of dieting and make this a sustainable lifestyle.

Listen to the podcasts of Dr Chatterjee, called Feel Better Live More. They've changed my life and the way I look at food, health and exercise.

I joined we last year as I was 3.5 stone over weight and menopausal.It was now or never and I was in the right headspace for it.
I didn't find it hard and was easily able to adapt it from meals we already ate and so my DD ate enough.
I use the app as I don't like the whole group thing.I weigh something's out as portion sizes was one of my problems but can eat all veg,fruit and pulses I like.There is a bar code reader on the app so you can know points in processed food..You can also put in you favourite recipes so you only have to work it out once.
It may not be your cup of tea but it works for me as I can still have wine.
But if you are determined and find something that works for you then go for it,you can do it.

Ps.I leave for work at 6.30 so only have a banana but have something like poached eggs on toast on my days off.

Have you thought about getting a Fitbit? They are much more sophisticated now than they were a few years ago.

I use mine all the time - they are really helpful in focussing you on how much exercise you do and how much food you eat and what makes up that food .

They work out your base metabolic rate using your weight/height/age. Then any exercise you do - I just walk- they measure your heart rate and steps and calorie burn. You record your food and drink intake and they convert it into calories in. So you develop an awareness of the balance of calories used just because of BMR plus exercise, calories in via food and drink and the balance between them.

Also, you can see the impact of exercise on your heart rate and calories.
I realised that I can be very lazy for quite long periods during the day when DS1 and DD are at school and nursery. However, I have worked over the last few years at including as much walking as possible into my day. I often do 20,000 + steps a day and it has made a huge difference to my ability to control my weight.

My other things are:
Low carb, high protein.
Never lower than 1200 calories
Low dairy in terms of butter/cheese/cream.
Record everything - I found the calories added up in all the extras eg mayo, oil, butter, bits of cheese, a packet of crisps, alcohol. I just cut them out (apart from an odd tablespoon of low fat mayo) or replaced them with a healthier version. Alcohol was wasted calories for me.
I always have something in the fridge I can eat if I need to - homemade coleslaw or bean salad or roasted tomatoes or quorn somethings.

Typical day
Fruit and no fat fromage frais or porridge or two hard boiled eggs for breakfast

Sandwich -lunch made with sandwich thins or pitta bread and tuna or hard boiled egg and homemade coleslaw. Or large carton of minestrone/veggie soup and a pitta.

Dinner - roasted veg (for example tomatoes, mushrooms, onion, peppers, carrots, parsnip) veggie sausages or omelette, or a quorn cottage pie.
Fruit and fat free fromage frais afterwards.

Drinks - 6 500mls of water or no added sugar squash
2 x nescafe unsweetened cappuccino sachets

Snack - 2 oatcakes with 1 tablespoon of peanut butter, an occasional 4 finger KitKat or an ice lolly or an M and S chocolate dessert.

I do have days where I eat what I like. But I count everything and adjust over the next few days- food and exercise. I track everything on my Fitbit.

I have lost 5 1/2 over the last 5 years and kept it off. I'm no skinny Minnie but I am so much healthier, fitter and happier.

You can do this. At the minute you don't understand how to and haven't got it quite right but you can. You need to be aware of everything you eat and drink and build fat-burning exercise into your routine often (can just be walking).

@Usersafe4 I eat everything but just stop eating when I get to 1000.

Thank you for all your advice.

I have just read a thread from someone else on a site with a similar sounding name where the poster has asked for advice like I have but the majority of the replies are trying to sell supplements, tablets and oils that they are claiming to be some type of magic pills.

It is so nice to actually have some decent advice which will help me have a lifestyle change. I am genuinely so thankful to each person who has taken the time to comment.

I will definitely read up on everything everyone has suggested.
I am going to write down everything I am currently eating and where my weaknesses are. And then I will try all of the suggestions and see which one helps me lose weight and which I find easiest to stick to. Lots of people are actually saying similar things even if they are doing different 'diets' like reducing sugar, alcohol, not eating after a certain time etc. So I am really happy that I decided to start this thread as I feel so much more positive about the future now.

Also I had a Fitbit a while ago but it was rubbish so I will definitely look into getting a newer, better one

I would recommend DietDoctor.com
It's all about sugar and insulin spikes
LCHF is the way we'll all be eating in the future

Try to Cut the cheese completely. It s easy to eat too much. Cut pasta too.

Cutting things out completely is not necessary or a good idea imo. You need to learn that it's okay to enjoy foods that are high in fat, etc. as part of a balanced diet rather than bingeing on them or eating lots of them every day and wondering why you put on weight. Eat less and move more.

Do you use an app like My Fitness Pal?

If not you should do, it makes life so much easier, you can just search for any item you've eaten (or thinking of eating) and it will nit only tell you the calories but also the nutritional content.

It will also deduct any extra exercise you do, which is brilliant for encouraging more exercise, and when you complete the day it'll tell you how much you will weight in 5 weeks if you carrying on eating the same as that day.