I've actively decided to STOP DIETING!

[Sweetheart]

I had a long chat with some female friends of mine recently that made me really think about why I'm ALWAYS on a diet. I realised that I have pretty much been on a constant diet for the last 20 years (my entire adult life) which made me so sad! I realised that I've never really been happy with my weight and how I look and to be honest probably never will be! I'm actually not even sure that how I want to look is even attainable.

So there it is - I've decided to STOP dieting. I'm currently not at my heaviest but not at my lightest either. The weight I am now I have been hovering around for about 5 months so I'm just going to try and stick at this weight for a while and learn to actually eat normally - not constantly counting everything, weighing everything, sticking to the god forsaken rules!

I've had a few scary realisations this week........1. I am so out of tune with hunger - when I actually want or need to eat.

1. I think about food all the time - probably because I'm so deprived. I asked dh the other day why he never eats anything after our evening meal and he told me he just never thinks about food - this was a revelation to me.....I think about it constantly.
2. I don't think I've set a good example to my kids over the years. It can't be good for them to watch mum eat a salad whilst they tuck into the normal evening meal........or to watch mum weighing and measuring every bit of food......or to watch mum have a juice / shake in place of a proper meal.

I'm hoping the freedom from dieting will teach me how to actually eat normally for the 1st time in my adult life.

The only things I am imposing on myself are:-
Plenty of water each day
Try to only eat when I am actually hungry (this is a tricky one to figure out)

Has anyone ever had any experience of this? Or am I just going to end up even fatter and back on the next fad diet?

It is quieter! I'm still enjoying each update though. Just little tips of inspiration to keep me on track. I went to weigh myself the other day, it's probably been 6 weeks or so and I couldn't find the scales. I was just curious. I've noticed a pattern to my eating and exercise as in on Wed/Fri/Sat/Sun I exercise and I'm alit busier and my calories on the Fitbit and activity soar. Other days it's quieter and I feel a bit guilty but now I've noticed the pattern I'm feeling better about it. I guess that's how things balance themselves. According to my clothes I've stayed approx. the same weight since I started at the beginning of December. I think I'm pleased with that as I would only choose to lose 10-14 lbs. if I can spend the rest of my life at this weight without dieter then that's all I could possibly ask for! Have a look at Dietsarefattening.com if you haven't seen it. I'm not doing the workbook but it's helpful to follow on Facebook x

I was thinking the other day how much do you have to gain or loose for other people to notice - because it is ridiculous that people agonise over 1 or 2 ib's here and there when I'm pretty sure anyone else wouldn't notice until you got to around 10ibs or more.

That's so true Sweet! It was only when I got to 8lbs that even I noticed that my clothes were a bit tighter!

You're doing brilliantly on the mindset, Hail. That's massive progress if you're now happy to stay at the weight you are. It sounds like you're eating and exercise patterns are balancing out.

Sweetheart have a look at Lucy Wyndham Read on you tube. She was in the army for a short while and from that has developed an exercise program where you only use your body for resistance. Her workouts are "HIT" and only 4 mins long but she has a huge following and really gets results.

Oh dear....the snow has really put a spanner in the works! 3 days of missed gym visits and plenty of comfort food. Think I've doubled in size this weekend... it shall definatly need addressing 1 way or another next week for sure!

I’ve been lurking on this thread for ages. Just wanted to share my experience. Like a lot of you I’ve been on a diet for approx 40 years. All the usual ones. In fact I used to be an award winning weight loss consultant! I only needed to look at a bread roll to gain a lb. Spent my whole life thinking I was destined to be fat. Last January I decided to make some changes to my lifestyle. I started doing exercise classes three times a week, stopped weighing, measuring and calorie counting, weighed myself once a week only on my Fitbit scales. And do you know what. This has so worked for me. At first I went a bit crazy on the food but now nothing it denied it’s got less meaning. For example last week the office decided to have a McDonald’s and I said no, because I didn’t fancy it! I know. It’s a miracle! I’m three dress sizes down and now go to 5/6 classes a week because I’m enjoying them so much. So keep up the good work people! It will work if you put your faith in it.

ShreksAuntie Thank you. It's motivational to hear other successful stories. Well done you

Sweetheart I replied to your previous post

Thanks Millie.......I've done HIIT for a while...it's not something I really enjoy but usually force myself to get it done. I have to have days doing things I love at the gym....otherwise I find excuses not to get there!

Sweetheart Ok just thought you could do these at home and they only take 4 mins but are extremely effective. She has many many different workouts on her You Tube Chanel.

I love this thread and the inspiring messages. I’ve followed up the recommendations for The Goddess Revolution and Lucy W-R.

I still have feelings of being down on my new, larger body though, and the temptation to do a crash diet/exercise regime (that lasts 18 hours) still persists.

Any advice?

Milly I had a look at some of her workouts and they seemed pretty tame - maybe I've looked at the wrong person. If I did those for 4 mins a day I'd be the size of a house. I do about 8 workouts a week each one about 40 mins - I like to make sure they are all pretty strenuous apart from my Pilates session.

Pink - why don't you think of some realistic guidelines to set yourself that are not based on excluding food groups, that will improve your mental wellbeing.

Things like:-
drink enough water
aim for 5 servings of fruit / veg a day
be active for 30 mins a day
no snacking - unless really hungry

Not diets as such but just good old fashioned common sense.

Thanks sweetheart (that sounds weird!). I do do that, but then, erm, binge(?) or “fall off the bandwagon” and then I wonder if I just need the discipline of a strict diet.

And then I know that that’s just what the diet industry wants me to believe, and that I need to trust myself.

Actually, you’ve got me thinking. I exercise a lot, I eat well most of the time, and I actually feel good sometimes at size 14. I just feel bombarded by expectations that I should be an 8 again.

Pink.....if you were on a diet I can pretty much guarantee you'd be falling off that too at some point!

Hmmmm have recently seen some very unflattering photos of me which are testing my resolve to diet! I really do think I need to shift a few ibs but really don't want to fall into the same out traps!

Today I have brought a salad to work for lunch - but I have made sure it is a salad I want to eat and am looking forward to. It has beetroot, halloumi, a bit of cous cous and some coleslaw in it - all things that I find very yummy. So not exactly a "diet" meal but certainly probably healthier than my usual lunches.

Sweetheart I’m going to try some YouTube hypnosis recordings for healthy eating and quitting sugar, to see if that helps.

I have had hypnosis before - of course I bloody well have - I've tried every type of "diet" going! I've also used the Paul McKenna CD.

The hypnotherepy did work quite well - for about 4 months. I probably should have gone for a top up session after that but it was so bloomin expensive I just couldn't justify it.

Sweetheart tell us about the hypnosis. Always fancied it. Did you lose weight?

I had it prior to Christmas one year when I had successfully spent all year trying really hard to loose weight and the last thing i wanted was to have 2 weeks off work over Christmas and put loads back on - so I went to have hypnosis to help me control my eating.

I have a pattern to my gains and losses I am very aware of.

Jan - March = loose weight
March & April - lots of birthdays and Easter = put weight on
May, Jun, July - loose weight for summer
August - summer holiday = put weight on
Sept - Nov - loose weight
December - Birthday and Christmas central = put weight on

The actual "hypnosis" was very odd - I was never "under" at any point and I can remember the session, it was a bit like meditating or relaxation. They guy that did it said it was more about suggestion than the sort of thing you see on TV where people will make animal noises and make idiots of themselves.

I managed to maintain my weight for about 4 months without thinking about things too much and then my birthday hit and it was almost like the old me was unleashed and I started putting weight back on.

If I'd have had more money I would have gone back - he did tell me it can take 3-4 sessions to really stick. But it was about £250

Having said all between October and Christmas just gone I maintained my weight being off a diet - I did put some on over xmas which I haven't lost but I have maintained the "new" weight since Christmas so perhaps I should now look back on the fact that I managed to maintain my weight without surprise......

I've had that too with unflattering pictures, Sweetheart, but I remind myself if I diet and fail again and gain even more weight, the next pictures will be a whole lot worse!

I'm really struggling at the moment. I feel overweight and unhealthy and unattractive and it's making me eat more. I know it's partly grief, but I really need to do some exercise to feel better!

One of my daily goals is to “love the skin I’m in”, so I try to think something positive. Today I focused on feeling strong and alive when I was swimming. And if I catch myself thinking something unkind I replace it with something I’d say to a friend.

But it is a constant battle with so many messages to the contrary.

Pinkcottonshirt Ooh, you've really made me want to go for a swim! I agree though, it had be hard to keep a positive mindset when the voice in your head is telling you your clothes are getting tighter!

Sweetheart you do 8 workouts a week plus Pilates? That's a lot of exercise. You said if you didn't you would be the size of a house. Are you using exercise sessions to maintain weight rather than dieting?