I've actively decided to STOP DIETING!

[Sweetheart]

I had a long chat with some female friends of mine recently that made me really think about why I'm ALWAYS on a diet. I realised that I have pretty much been on a constant diet for the last 20 years (my entire adult life) which made me so sad! I realised that I've never really been happy with my weight and how I look and to be honest probably never will be! I'm actually not even sure that how I want to look is even attainable.

So there it is - I've decided to STOP dieting. I'm currently not at my heaviest but not at my lightest either. The weight I am now I have been hovering around for about 5 months so I'm just going to try and stick at this weight for a while and learn to actually eat normally - not constantly counting everything, weighing everything, sticking to the god forsaken rules!

I've had a few scary realisations this week........1. I am so out of tune with hunger - when I actually want or need to eat.

1. I think about food all the time - probably because I'm so deprived. I asked dh the other day why he never eats anything after our evening meal and he told me he just never thinks about food - this was a revelation to me.....I think about it constantly.
2. I don't think I've set a good example to my kids over the years. It can't be good for them to watch mum eat a salad whilst they tuck into the normal evening meal........or to watch mum weighing and measuring every bit of food......or to watch mum have a juice / shake in place of a proper meal.

I'm hoping the freedom from dieting will teach me how to actually eat normally for the 1st time in my adult life.

The only things I am imposing on myself are:-
Plenty of water each day
Try to only eat when I am actually hungry (this is a tricky one to figure out)

Has anyone ever had any experience of this? Or am I just going to end up even fatter and back on the next fad diet?

Thanks much - I've tried the yogurt / berries thing and it doesn't satisfy me and I find myself seeking out more. Like I said it's not about hunger - it is 100% about feeling satisfied. I think in my mind I also associate yogurt and berries with "a diet treat" which is why it's not killing the sweet craving......it feels like I'm eating it because I should not because I want to IYKWIM.

A couple of Jaffa cakes sorted me out the other night which isn't too bad but last night it was a packet of mistrals which isn't exactly great!

Hi everyone. I'm enjoying reading how you're all getting on.
I have got back to running and I am pleased to find I haven't completely lost my stamina. The very first time
I did run 1 week 1 of C25K last year I honestly thought I was going to die about 10 metres from my front door, this time I'm through the first few runs without any of that.
I'm finding my groove with eating, I cannot eat a lot anymore, I'm full quickly so I can't binge even if I wanted to which I don't, I sometimes fancy a biscuit with a cup of tea so I have one or two.
Mainly I'm finding myself not eating until about 11 when I feel hungry and after a run I'm wanting something warm and carbs like spicy beans on toast.
Dinners I've been fancying are all home cooked and things like rainbow stirfry it good old fashioned chilli and rice and I've swapped to brown just because it's better for my digestion.

I've also approached the doctor about several niggly issues I should have attended to a long time ago but was waiting until I felt 'worthy' of help because in my head it was al my fault for being fat.
I'm feeling emotionally really good, I haven't been near the scales so I don't know what's happening weight wise, if I find myself bursting out my current clothes I might have a rethink but at the moment I'm all good.

A few mums at the school were talking about how they were back to SW again for the x amount of years in a row and I was convinced that I'm doing the right thing.

yes, sweetheart, thats the diet mentality. things you might even want to eat are not interesting because "thats just 'diet food'". mad. i'm only suggesting some sweet foods that are healthy, not because they're diet food. obviously 2 biscuits could do it too if thats where you're at on that particular evening ... the packet of minstrels fine too if thats what you fancy and feel satisfied after, but most times that wouldn't satisfy me anyway.

Squash all sounds good and way-to-go.

Hi Squish - nice to see you!

I've heard so many people talking about getting back to their diets and talking about their food options and I feel like I can FINALLY see through the absolute load of bull crap we've been fed all these years! I actually find myself feeling a bit sorry for all those that are still a slave to diets - because I feel so liberated!

sweetheart I usually have something sweet after dinner with a cup of tea. Either a few squares of chocolate or a couple of biscuits. I feel done then. I don't drink alcohol though as it doesn't agree with me (migraines ). I never lost any weight when I cut it out though.

Same here, sweetheart. I want to grab them by the shoulders and shout 'DON'T DO IT, YOU'LL GET FATTER!' But obviously don't, because I don't think they'll appreciate me saying they're big in the first place.

My sister has just restarted a slimming club for the millionth time - she sent a message last night saying how well she had done in her first week. I'm pretty sure the weight she has lost this week is the same weight she lost last year - and the year before and the year before that! I found it very hard to offer a genuinely enthusiastic "well done, that's amazing"

Sorry for the daily mail link but good to read something to reinforce new beliefs www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-6517021/Expert-warns-diets-contributing-Britains-obesity-epidemic.html

I truly believe diets make people fatter. It's the diet , lose, binge , fall off , can't get back on and give up till next time

How is everyone doing? I still don't think I've quite shifted any Christmas excess but that's ok.

Gym is going well here - I stuck to all my planned workouts last week and hope to do the same this week.

Very much enjoying a guilt free January

Hi Everyone, I'm another non-dieter.

I have goals for each month, this month I'm looking at improving my health by eating a wider range of veggies, especially "leafy greens" and reducing the amount of "junk sugar" that I eat. The best thing this week is that I've finally got over my cold enough to return to the gym.

Brilliant Sweetheart. I didn't eat much extra over Christmas. Enjoyed mince pies, quality street and Stilton with apple slices...not forgetting Christmas cake. January, I still need to get back to walking and weights. Food this month is batch cooking and trying some new recipes.
Spikeyhedgehogg I eat lots of veg and salad and add lots to my stews, bolog, chilli and curry. I want to get back to my smoothies this month as I haven't been having much fruit. It's hard to eat it in Winter. I do like poached pears, apples baked in maple and baked bananas though. Hungry now

Yes! Dieting is bullshit and fat does not = bad.

Do yourself a favour and watch Sofie Hagen's TedX talk or read Megan Crabbe's book :)

I’m currently reading a book called Escape the Diet Trap, by Dr John Briffa.

I’m only half way through but it is very much confirming that everything I thought about diets is correct, backed up by science. They cause more harm than good.

I borrowed it from the library but I’m sure you can get it second hand off Amazon.

So many threads on here at the mo about diets (typical January I suppose) and it is depressing. People miserable and counting every calorie, agonising over putting a pound on or eating ‘bad’ food. I just want to scream STOP!!

Anyway I hope you are all doing well and enjoying yourselves on the diet-free path

It's the same at my gym Dark - it is packed with people trying to fulfil useless new year resolutions. Many of the classes I book onto every week for the last 3 years I now can't get onto because all the spaces are taken up by people on a new health kick.

It is very frustrating but I suppose I only have a couple more weeks to wait until they all fail or give up and normal service is resumed

I’d say the busiest times for gyms would be New Years (resolution time), summer (gotta get that bikini body) and before Xmas (fit into party dress season). So avoid at those times .

Darkstorm John Briffa is all about low carb eating not non dieting . Eating low carb is dieting as it's controlling weight through removing a food group to a large extent.

I'm fed up today. I've had a big lunch and my body knows it's full, but my mind feels dissatisfied and wants to eat more because it was nice...

Blue - I have 2 ways of dealing with feelings like that - either give into it and eat what i know will satisfy me or do something to distract myself until the thought has passed.

How's everyone? Still doing it or jumped on diet wagon, just wondering as January (after Christmas) can have that affect.

Hey Milliy and everyone. I haven't posted for a while because I had a family bereavement to deal with. It's been a tough few weeks and I have definitely not paid any attention to what I've been eating and, as a consequence, began to feel incredibly unhealthy and really heavy. So I'll admit I did succumb to the scales (my first time in three months) to have it confirmed that I have indeed gained about 8lbs since October (I imagine a lot of that is Christmas eating and drinking!) BUT for the first time in decades I wasn't panicked into starting a dieting. I am so proud of myself! Instead, I'm just being more mindful when I eat and checking in a bit more with my appetite to make sure I really am hungry and not eating/snacking because I'm bored, tired, etc. I don't mind that I've put on a bit of weight, because that's common when you quit dieting, but I do want to be healthy. Watching someone you love pass away is a sobering reminder that you should take care of yourself as you get older.

How's everyone else getting on?

BookwormMe2 so sorry to hear that. Yes having a family member struggling with illness and then passing is really hard. It does make you more conscious of what you eat and being very healthy but it can also tip into obsessive behaviour around controlling food and clean eating. I've been there. I still eat big amounts of veg etc but am not as preoccupied now as I was for awhile. It's a form of control I believe. Well done in not worrying too much about 8lbs. You will soon find it comes off as you tune into yourself again. Losing track of your hunger signals when stressed is understandable.

That's an interesting development to be wary of, thanks Milliy. I would never cut out any particular food, though, so I don't think me and clean eating would ever be a thing. At the moment I'm just focused on eating what makes me feel good - whether that's a salad or a fishfinger sandwich, which is what I had for lunch!

Hi all,

How is everyone doing - things have certainly been quieter around here!

Bookworm I'm so sorry to hear about your bereavement but well don for not panicking about the 8ibs and heading back onto another crappy diet!

I was thinking the other day how much do you have to gain or loose for other people to notice - because it is ridiculous that people agonise over 1 or 2 ib's here and there when I'm pretty sure anyone else wouldn't notice until you got to around 10ibs or more.

I've spent the last months going heavier on my weights in the gym in an effore to sculpt myself a bit more but it's not really working I don't think so wondering if I should go back to mostly cardio (even though I hate cardio)

Food wise I'm still eating whatever I want, still finding it quite hard to tune into hunger - especially when I'm bust at the weekends. I'm still about half a stone heavier than I was when I started this in October but that's mostly from Christmas.