AIBU to want a gentler health/weight discussion

[argumentativefeminist]

Want to interact with others and get support/motivation for getting healthier and active, and in the process losing weight. But I absolutely don't want to hear any "diet culture", calorie counting or unhealthy disordered eating promotion. Surely I can't be the only one? Sometimes it seems like every thread I click on is just full of upsetting, unhelpful comments that sound like they could have been lifted from a thinspo website.

Anyone? I did half an hour of "upper body strength" yoga just now and I've never sweated so much in my life, but I feel so good now.

That's great, OP - I like the sound of the upper body strength yoga; I love yoga but have let it slide of late. Is it a book or a video you're following?

Getting active and losing weight in the process is on my agenda Due to ill health I'm limited, energy wise, and I know yoga is accessible. And you say you sweated buckets?? I need that workout...

It was the Down Dog app! It's absolutely amazing. I pay for the full version so can select which part of the body to focus on, but even the free workouts are great.

I started a thread about Jessica Smith workout videos because she doesn’t yell at you or push you, she makes videos for people who want to exercise because they want to do something nice for their bodies www.mumsnet.com/Talk/exercise/3189196-No-ripping-tearing-or-shreding-its-Jessica-Smith

I also think it is a bad idea to tell you what you should be eating - mainly because no one else knows what you eat and just listing things doesn’t really give you the tools to sort things out when you’re on your own. What can help is understanding what you eat, when you eat and why you eat. An app like MyFitnessPal is useful, but it can also be useful to write about your feelings around eating - you might pick something up that you hadn’t expected.

Well done on sweaty yoga, I’m barely moving today

You sound great and definitely not unreasonable .

My main tip for weight is lucky genes (sorry!), but we also eat loads of veg, very little meat, and mostly cook from fresh. I’m a big believer in moderation, and in having things that are less processed (full fat milk, butter not spread). I barely drink alcohol which I think helps, but have a coffee habit which I’ve no desire to kick.

Used to run 3x a week ( I started to manage depression and anxiety, and it is the single best thing I’ve ever done for my mental health. NHS couch to 5k podcasts make it really easy to start and the forum on the health unlocked website is really positive and supportive.) Currently not running as I’m trying to rehab a knackered pelvic floor, but can’t wait to get back to it.

Yoga is great; so is making an effort to walk everywhere. And I’m loving Pilates (a new discovery since pregnancy and birth gave my poor body a bit of a trouncing) for strength but also having a not-achy back.

I used my fitness pal when I needed to gain weight to qualify for IVF funding and it does work, but it also makes me super conscious and neurotic about food. If you’re aiming for being healthier, stronger, and having a loving relationship with your body it might not be great for you either.

You all sound lovely too! 👋 I'll check out your thread Kiki, that sounds ideal. I love Fitness Marshall dance videos on YouTube for a very quick bit of cardio, something about his very camp enthusiasm makes me grin and actually enjoy myself 😂

Verbena I'm with you on the full fat milk! And proper sugar in anything sugary I do have, instead of sweeteners. Using whole natural products makes me really understand what I'm eating, whereas if I was having a "light"/"diet" version I'd have about ten times more due to feeling like it was healthier. Hope you can get back to your running soon!

I definitely get neurotic as soon as I start tracking calories etc. I tried to do it when I started out, but found myself weighing out mayonnaise and was just like "nah actually this is just making me miserable". Hopefully we can all find healthy and more importantly happy ways to reach our goals!

Can I tag along with a goal of just feeling stronger and fitter? Think I’m happy with my weight (although I don’t know what it is because scales also make me slightly nuts), but would love more of it to be made of muscle.

Definitely Verbena! That's my main goal too, to be stronger and feel more... fizzy? More full of energy and more active, and less out of breath 😂 I have been feeling stronger and a little more "toned" already which is really cheering me up. Feel free to post on here anything you do that you're proud of, or any good or bad feelings you have along the way.

I think Verbena has nailed it. If your goal is to feel fitter and stronger, then you’re always looking at gaining something and not a loss. It should help when you make decisions, I can’t imagine, “Will this help me lose something?” before eating would cheer anyone up. “Will this help me feel stronger and more energetic?” might help to lift up a mood.

My Fitness Pal is my idea of hell. I know people get great results on it, but you need to know the weight of everything and I don't want to live my life like that.

I was looking into Keto but again, it's super restrictive. No fruit except the odd Berry.

I just want to have a really easy relationship with both food and exercise. As in I don't become obsessive about either, to either extreme. Going from super dieter and super exerciser to swinging back to indolent pigging-outer in a sudden fit of surly teen defiance.

I find the hot weather really helps to recalibrate my lifestyle as I suddenly find salads attractive.

The other day I did a search on here of "interesting salads" old threads and made a list on my phone of all the interesting salad fillings that people suggested. I have been using it in the supermarket. Thats handy!

Elspeth I know exactly how you feel! Definitely more into salads at the moment too. For now, I'm starting out with trying to get my 5 a day every day (I know it's mostly a marketing scam, but it's something to aim for!) and having some sort of protein + small carb + lots of veg thing for lunch. I'm usually home alone for lunch and it's all too easy to just have hash browns and fried eggs in front of the TV 😂

At the mo I'm also having one day a week where I have absolutely anything I want e.g. kebab, stodgy stuff that makes me happy but doesn't necessarily fuel my body in the healthy, strengthy ways I need. I find it keeps me in a sane place where I realise this isn't actually the be all and end all of my life.

I'll join you, I'm 3 months pp and breastfeeding so not looking to go too hard at it. I'm feeling really well in general but would like to get some fitness back after a tough pregnancy...I also developed quite a sweet tooth during and would like to wean myself off it.

Glad you could join us Elinor! It's good that you're feeling well in general - that's the best place to start from! My sweet tooth is a bit of a problem too 😂 there's a greggs donut waiting for me in the kitchen for after swimming 😍

Would definitely recommend Yoga with Adriene (loads of free videos on YouTube) for some truly positive, uplifting training. I have been practicing with her videos for about a month and making an effort to consistently get my 10000 steps a day in. I feel stronger, more balanced and comfortable in my skin. Which makes me more inclined to not eat crap.

YANBU, the threads here tend to devolve into very competitive undereating and fat shaming. It's never about being healthy, but about being thin.

As someone who has had an eating disorder most of her life, and had over exercised to the point of serious chronic injury, I find it hard to find a thread about reasonably getting healthy and eating well and not trying to reach some silly size or BMI goal.

Elinor I’m still breastfeeding too (though 10 months pp) and have noticed getting hungry = lower supply and hungry fussy baby, so definitely with you on the nothing drastic front.

I did start post-natal Pilates (a class, with a qualified physio instructor: need to be mindful of looking after your abs and pelvic floor) at about 2 months and whilst it is a bit of an expense, it’s been magic for mind and body.

Down Dog was created in collaboration with Adriene and I think she does the voiceover! It's lovely.

That's exactly how I felt Hulk. I'm fat and exercise is really hard for me - it was pissing me off to see people saying "just run for 5 hours on concrete pavements!" and fat shaming.

Hopefully we can get a little thread going here and keep each other motivated. I've just done 25 mins fast swimming thanks to my underwater mp3 and the irreplaceable Beyoncé 😂

I will look for good Pilates, thanks Verbena. I keep seeing advice to get out walking but the baby hates the pram and it is so not sling weather!

I like what I've eaten today-muesli with whole milk, big salad bowl (mackerel, avocado, rocket, a few new potatoes). Wholefoody vegetariqn dinner, strawberries and ice cream-more of the former than the latter!

I have a friend who did amazing work re-shaping her relationship with food. She struggled with portions and one thing she did was buy ice cream cones to make up at home, and just ate one at a time.

Sounds lovely Elinor! I love new potatoes in a salad, they make it so much more filling and sustaining.

Definitely not sling weather (unless you have woods nearby - shade! Heaven!) - we didn’t use a pram/pushchair until he got too heavy for me to sling for any length of time around 7 or 8 months (I’m not feeble but he’s huge and I’ve got a prolapse because he was huge on arrival, otherwise would still be mainly using the sling) and he’s definitely got to like it as he’s got bigger and more nosey!

Jackie I’m going to have a look for that yoga - sounds great.

Woke up at 4am this morning going "why the hell does my stomach hurt so much, hope this isn't period cramps", then got up only to realise that all of my core and upper body is rather sore 😂 thanks yoga!

Ooof, hope the ache eased once you were up and about! No yoga for me today but an hour of Pilates which magically fixed my achey lying-awkwardly-to-feed-the-baby-at-3am shoulder, so that’s lovely.

Did someone on this thread mention niko niko running? If so, thanks. Have done a bit of research and am tentatively hopeful I might get away with it without a prolapse mishap!