Hi all, I’d like to join. I’ve always been on the heavier side, but was a size 14-16 throughout my 20s and I looked good (if I say so myself :) ) After having DS2 4 years ago, I have ballooned. I struggled a bit with pnd and am still on a low dose of citalopram.
I knew I was huge but seemed to convince myself that I was just “larger” or “curvier” even though I tipped the scales at 18 stone 13 FFS. I don’t know how my mind did it really because I can’t fit in any of my old clothes and I do own a mirror!! Anyway, my attempts at dieting were pretty half hearted despite the weight on the scales.
But last week I experienced a complete and utter revelation as to what I currently look like and what I’m doing to myself health wise. In a total cliche it was in a changing room - I buy all my stuff online normally and haven’t been in one for years. Anyway, the 360 degree mirrors showed everything. Rippling rolls of fat, so much flab it was swallowing up my bra straps, legs chafing all the way down to my knees, belly as big as when I was 8 months pregnant. I must have stood there looking at myself for 15 mins.
Another huge cliche - I didn’t recognize myself. I was honestly amazed that this was what my body actually looks like.
I came out of the shop and I genuinely think I was in a bit of shock. I couldn’t think of anything else. It sounds melodramatic but I felt almost like I’d been in an accident and couldn’t process what had happened.
The upshot of all this is that for the first time in my whole life I’m committed to losing weight. My lightbulb moment in the changing room was horrible but it might just have saved me.
So: starting weight last Monday 18st13 (I’m 5’7).
Current weight: 18st3
Target 1: end July 15st13 - tough but I’m going for it.
Target 2: Xmas - 12st13 - tough again!!
Target 3: 2019: 12 stone.
Thanks for reading. I’ll be checking in regularly with weigh ins :)