I am so fat there are a number of things I can't do

[Newyearnew2017me]

Walk without getting breathless. Even small distances.

Wipe my bottom.

Wash myself properly. I do, but it's very difficult indeed.

Wear nice clothes that fit.

Sit next to someone in the car without touching the driver embarrassingly

Plane seats ditto

I am not writing this for people to lay into me and tell me I'm a horrible example to my children, or that I'm a waste on the NHS. I wasn't fat when I had my children, in fact I was marginally underweight with no1 (very marginally mind!) Please do not be critical of me because I have already done so.

I had planned to start today and binged. This made me realise I cannot do this alone.

I am starting my journey tomorrow, Monday 2nd January. If I don't I will be dead before I am 60. I am not saying this to sound dramatic it's just how it is.

Please support me, please tell me I can do this, please promise me there is a life out there for me if I am brave enough to stick to this.

No ...

Have you posted about this before?

Erm, no ... This is getting a bit peculiar.

Whatever your plan is OP I wish you lots of luck and I'm sure you'll get the weight off eventually. I'm 5st overweight and need to lose at least 20lbs before I can have reconstructive surgery following breast cancer (NHS guidelines re anaesthesia) but even with that incentive I'm struggling.
Thank you for starting this thread, most of the posts have been very helpful.

All the best with it, llan

Sometimes I find the more pressure you (General you) have to perform. The worse it can be. I was really slim for my wedding but I didn't have a proper wedding dress or anything and it was just vows and we did have a honeymoon. I looked really,lovely (ooh get me!) in those photos.

The very best of luck to you.

My only advice would be not to start tomorrow but to start now. Instead of going in full throttle, its ok just to change a few things. Bet you you'll lose weight even with the odd binge if youve made some changes too.

Youll feel happier and less expecting of your own failure once you've lost a bit of weight.

Well, I am starting now cause it is tomorrow if you see what I mean! But you're right - I need to get started and actually shift some. I've been dithering about going to a SW meeting even though I'm not going to follow their plan.

Yay! I have kids so impossible to remove food from house so if i gave up on the day when i ate it, id have never got anywhere. Ive lost 4st, 3st to go.

Well done. That's amazing :)

I only posted about my food eaten to show how you don't starve yourself on sw......
Everyone can do what they want.

Hi there op.
I just wanted to add something because I think you are still there? I'm extremely overweight and your op was so familiar to me.
I have managed to lose some weight recently. Just over 2 stone. I have a lot more to go, but this 2 stone really feels like a huge achievement to me as I've not been able to stick to anything for years and years.

I think that the thing that was different this time was getting in the right frame of mind. Getting myself in a 'zone'. I actually took about a month of giving myself a really good talking to, before I even started to change my eating habits, where I catalogued in my mind all the issues I had from being over weight. These included physical issues (and they were mounting up), suddenly putting on weight far faster than ever before so every time I weighed myself there would be another 1/4 stone on and this scared me.

I started slowly. Cut out some carbs. Still allowed myself desserts. After 3 weeks I lost one stone.

I then worked out how much weight I would need to lose to get into the biggest size of clothes from a 'normal' high street shop and started window shopping for what I would buy when I got there. I found this really inspiring and motivating.

I got about 5 weeks in and realised that I was floundering so joined a slimming club. I lost another stone in about 6 weeks. I feel like I'm stagnating a bit now so I plan to do something different again starting from this week. I feel like it doesn't matter what I do, as kind as I do something. Don't let myself get off track for too long.

my advice would be to have a day's worth of food planned in advance, always. Shop every day if you have to. Tell yourself you can do it, and believe it. Start living for the future and don't ever beat yourself up. Imagine where you could be in six months time, a year, two years. Set small weight loss goals. My first was to lose 2 stone, I knew this would have a good impact on my health if nothing else. Sure enough, some pain I was in has disappeared now.

Most importantly, don't ever give up. Concentrate only on the positive things you have achieved and don't give the cock ups a second thought! Give yourself permission to forget any binges the second they happen. You know the guilt will bring you down.

I wish you the very best of luck x

Good luck OP.

You sound like your in the right mindset and that's half the battle.

Totally get the not wanting to go to the gym, I was the same when I started my original journey back in 2010. I lost two stone then felt ready to join but I went to a women's only gym and that really helped me.

I originally went to the GP and he was totally useless and basically said what do you want me to do. But a friend recommended that I saw the nurse for weight management. She was really helpful and it spurred me on.

It's your journey and it's a very individual journey but you will do great.

I would recommend a food diary tho.

Just read your latest post.

Good on you, I've done a few VLCD in the past and found them tough but buy FAR the best results.

I have struggled with my weight for many years but last year commenced in a VLCD for 12 weeks and was 100% on plan then went straight into 5;2 intermittent fasting and it was the best decision I ever made.

Just take one day at a time but come the end of the week the results will be so worth it that will be enough to push you through to the next week and the lbs will fly off.

OP - you said that you can't cook. What about something like this...it will take the pressure off having to think of healthy meals etc

www.dietchef.co.uk/latest-offers/?gclid=CjwKEAiAkajDBRCRq8Czmdj-yFgSJADikZggOXjR--bGBTLzesNPyclXD02WZS3dPc53bVxGA-Q90RoCrkPw_wcB

Hope you're doing well OP, you sound full of determination!

I actually think VLCDs have a place in life: a fast, dramatic loss can be exactly the inspiration people need to spur them into longer-term good habits, and they can be very effective at resetting appetite and cravings.

They get a bad rap on here (and elsewhere) though, I think because it is so very, very common to see people have that fast, dramatic loss, then fall badly off the wagon and end up back where they started. I think that sometimes in the long term they can make people scared of weight-loss because it's such an intimidating regime, and obviously cannot be sustained forever: they don't mind the regime whilst they're euphoric about the loss and really determined, but something gets in the way (a holiday, an occasion, an emergency) and they give themselves a "break" and can't face going back to it. That's why people always advise starting with a sustainable plan, because it isn't as intimidating to return to after a wagon-slip (and wagon-slips are inevitable - you have a life to lead after all!)

I'm sure you know all this, just something to bear in mind: I would advise having a secondary plan in action for when you tire of the VLCD, or hit an initial weight target. As others have said, low-carb is an excellent option, and you'll be primed for that after the VLCD.

Apropos that, I really think the best thing you can do for yourself is get yourself in the kitchen! "Can't cook" isn't like "can't sing", anyone can do it with a bit of practise, and anyone can manage a simple meal even without any. Is there anything you can't / don't eat?

Good luck. One thing that can be helpful can be to work out when and where you are buying your food and put barriers in the way. I think you mentioned garages - could you change your habit so you go to a pay at the pump rather than going in the shop. If it's buying stuff when you pop in for a pint of milk - ask someone a DC to run to the corner shop. If it's extra's on the weekly shop that get eaten in the carpark move to online shopping. Obviously this isn't a miracle option - but it's putting a few extra barriers between you and the food you don't want to eat. As people have said up thread - also think about a replacement activity. They don't need to be virtuous - just not harmful and ideally enjoyable for you! Work out an alternative to buying food (e.g. Non-fashion mag; lottery ticket) if you are relatively confident this won't become a problem. Or alternative to eating in the car (MNetting; sorting out a playlist). Alternatives are really personal - it's worth having a good think and experiment.

Again, Diet Chef is a great idea if you can afford it as you'll see great results for whatever period you decide to do it for; but it's not much good if it just leaves you stranded once it's done.

I was a bit like you OP and in the summer I just thought I want to be thinner. I didn't fancy exercise so I just walked round the block and tried to get a little bit faster each day. Even a second faster was a success.

I also have a treat day so I had something to look forward to each week and I made sure I was never hungry or else I knew I'd cave.

I planned my meals better and made sure I had easy food in to cook if I was tired after working late. Plenty of planning was key.

I've lost two stone and it's given me an incentive to carry on.

You can do this!

One thing I do, if I had a slip up think "oh that's it, my diet's gone now" and give up, it's a bad way to think, acknowledge it was a lapse and carry on, don't just think it's broken and over, that's as much a message to myself as well as you :D Good luck, you really can do this.

Absolutely agree with Cakes.

I do urge you to carry on with this thread OP, or find another if you don't want to be centre of attention, and get into the habit of sharing your successes and slips. I've found it invaluable to have people to cheer me on / commiserate with. (You'd be very welcome indeed on the monthly "7lbs this month" threads: this month's is called Yes We Canuary, and we're a lovely lot, I swear! The 7lbs thing is just a schtick, some people like me only really shift a couple a month, some ditch 10 or more, and some are just maintaining, but it's a very supportive group.)

OP I'm five foot 3 inches tall. I weight over 18stone. You wouldn't believe that I ran the Paris Marathon in 2010 in 5hrs 37mins when I weighed around 10 stone. (That was after a previous successful weight loss campaign that saw me get from 17 and a half stones to 10st 13lbs)

What happened ? I fell off the wagon, comfort eating kicked in and here I am today.

However, enough about me. Please remember that habits take 21 days to establish. So, don't beat yourself up about your first day binge.

I have been overweight all my life. No big deal, we all just enjoyed our food a little bit too much. However, comfort eating and using food to control my mood is something of a habit with me. (Some people smoke, some people drink alcohol, some people take illicit drugs. With me it's food and I can quite easily put on six pounds in one weekend if I time it right.)

I was once advised during one of many sessions with a binge eating counsellor nearly 30 years ago to get all the food back out that I'd binged on, look at it and ask myself how I thought eating it would help. OK, looking at it is not eating it but I kind of understood the point she was trying to make. Also, that food was not available on account of the fact I had eaten it, but still.

Thanks for the support.

Yesterday did shock me - how exhausted and shaky I felt after a very short walk, but I think this in part was because I had the buggy. Rarely use it really :) Just been for another walk with the children, it was actually really lovely. I felt different to yesterday and was bounding up steps and stuff. Maybe I had a small virus yesterday? I don't know. Anyway we've done a walk by the lake, and one thing I've noticed is I didn't feel like going but once I was out, I LOVED it. Does anyone find the same?

DcS have hot chocolate, I want one, I won't!

I'm glad people aren't all ooh, vlcd don't work and you will be fat. I really want to shift the majority of this weight before Easter (holiday booked) and realistically no matter how stringently I stick to SW I won't be able to lose the bulk by then.

Eat a sensible breakfast of your choice, then salad or vegetables with protein (fish or chicken for me) for lunch and supper. Drink water or the occasional tea without milk. Herbal teas if they're not sweet. The weight will fall off and you will feel so much better.

No exercise yet, but when you feel like making extra movement, do.

Your attitude will change. You'll be able to walk past sweet things and not want them, or pick them up, look at them and put them back without any regret. Or, get this, buy a portion of cake in a café because you definitely can't resist, and only eat a quarter of it, leaving the rest! The control! The power! And if you backslide or go off your plan for a while, you'll long to be back with it, and return without regret or despair.

Everything will change. You will feel amazing.

You can do this.

All in all I've probably gained about 20 stone but as per Bridget lost a lot too! Gained maybe 2 and a half stone with child 1 and I was in a cycle of gaining and losing the same 2 stone, then over the last year really things have got really bad, really out of control.

I did a low-cal plan once, and then made up one of my own. My GP thought it was great as any weight-loss is good when one has so much to lose. But for everyday life... see above.