I am so fat there are a number of things I can't do

[Newyearnew2017me]

Walk without getting breathless. Even small distances.

Wipe my bottom.

Wash myself properly. I do, but it's very difficult indeed.

Wear nice clothes that fit.

Sit next to someone in the car without touching the driver embarrassingly

Plane seats ditto

I am not writing this for people to lay into me and tell me I'm a horrible example to my children, or that I'm a waste on the NHS. I wasn't fat when I had my children, in fact I was marginally underweight with no1 (very marginally mind!) Please do not be critical of me because I have already done so.

I had planned to start today and binged. This made me realise I cannot do this alone.

I am starting my journey tomorrow, Monday 2nd January. If I don't I will be dead before I am 60. I am not saying this to sound dramatic it's just how it is.

Please support me, please tell me I can do this, please promise me there is a life out there for me if I am brave enough to stick to this.

[QuimReaper]

NewYear how long do you reckon realistically you can keep up a VLCD?

[PurpleDaisies]

The NHS recommends the maximum time you stay on a VLCD is 12 weeks. It's important to think about what's going to happen afterwards if the weight isn't all going to go back on again. It's really easy to think that once you're slim it'll be easy to eat the right things and maintain it but unfortunately it doesn't usually work like that.

That's the big disadvantage of the VLCD-you aren't building long term habits. That's not to say it isn't worth doing short term but you do need to think about what comes afterwards.

[QuimReaper]

Does that go for things like the Cambridge plan too Purple?

[DebtfreeEarly2018]

You should rather be looking at what you're actually eating and how much/portion sizes, than how many calories you're consuming.

You're 15st - and how tall are you op? You should more unfit than you are overweight tbh.

I'm puzzled as to why you can't start off with a daily 30 minute walk as exercise? Exercise WILL help you lose inches AND improve your general fitness levels.

[Bluntness100]

Less than 15 stone is not that huge, especially if you should be about ten stem, and you're probably close to fourteen and a half it seems , you should still be able to wipe your bottom, wash yourself, sit in cars and walk relatively easily at this size . I have a friend who is about five stone over weight, and she's very short , about five foot, and she can easily do all those things.

So I'm a little confused, I'd maybe see a doctor for some diet and fitness advice.

[PurpleDaisies]

Yes quim, anything where you're eating less than 1000 calories a day should only be followed for up to 12 weeks.

[Newyearnew2017me]

Well, I'm definitely struggling to wipe my bum, and wash it too. And I'm definitely spelling over in the car. I'm 5'2. Anyway.

[ScarletSienna]

Determination is everything!

I agree with pp about having a long term plan if starting a VLCD. I did the Cambridge diet a few years ago and it was amazing. I lost around 5-7 pounds each week and after three days, hunger pangs went. But it did nothing to educate me or support me in making meals etc that were nutritious. I put the 3.5 stone I lost back on plus some more in a really short period of time. It became a ridiculous cycle. I started following a slimming world style plan in the summer and joined a SW group in September and I have lost 4 stone 6. More successful than I was doing the VLCD and far less risk of me yoyoing. Cambridge diet addressed my weight but at some point you have to stop and cook etc proper food. SW is making me far more knowledgeable and I've still lost loads!

[AprilLady]

From the initial post I assumed OP was 20st+, not under 15st. So first thing I would say OP is that things aren't as bleak as you think they are.

My experience is that the key to losing weight is, as others have said, being mentally in the right place and having a plan. It can be any plan that results in a calorie deficit, and different plans work for different people. I know many people have found SW works, but I knew it wasn't for me so understand where OP is coming from. I also understand the attractions of a vlcd and have seen it work well if you accept that there is a lot to do afterwards to teach yourself how to maintain. Again, that wasn't for me as I had too much to lose for a short term fix and also I knew I wouldn't cope with some of the side effects. Finally, I also understand where the OP is coming from exercise wise, and agree that focussing on eating first is the right place to start.

OP, you can do it. I am only a little taller than you (5ft4) and weighed 17.2 this time last year. This morning I weighed 10.2, making a 7st loss over the year. I did it by being in the right place mentally, recording everything I ate on MFP and aiming for 1200 calories a day (increased to 1400 over the last month as 1200 was becoming unsustainable). The only exercise I did most of last year was walking, but this increased from 5000 to 6000 steps slowly at the start of the year to comfortably 10000+ at a decent pace by the year end. I didn't ever go out to exercise, just incorporated more into my day e.g. getting out a tube stop early and walking an extra 15 minutes when I am in central London. I am much, much, fitter, even though all I have done is walked.

Good luck OP, you can make this work.

[blueskyinmarch]

Gosh Op , i have just come back to this thread. From what you said initially i had you somewhere way over 25 st, not around 15 st. That is not so massive and much more easy to tackle. You really shouldn’t be struggling to walk/be breathless or wash/wipe at that weight. If i was you i would definitely be going to the doctor. Maybe you are asthmatic?

[PacificDogwod]

VLCD has good evidence behind it and of course works - it is only a short-term option, of course and you know that.

Good luck, you really don't have that much weight to loose.
And I totally understand what you mean that you are more motivated to cook and eat well when you are already feeling quite good about yourself.

Good to read that you had a better walk

[Newyearnew2017me]

Thank you.

I'm at work tomorrow. More structure. I'll have to try not to call in at Asda on the way back.

[GeekLove]

Have you tried Nerd Fitness? I have used it mostly for training but it's strengths are that it's by ordinary people for ordinary people and has loads of useful stuff on diet and exercise. I like the fact It has more of a focus on strength and fitness and on losing inches rather than weight per se.

If you can avoid sugar and carbs that will help a lot.

[bibbitybobbityyhat]

I don't know why but I just feel you are not being entirely truthful on this thread op, and you're probably going to struggle to succeed unless you get out of whatever denial you are in (sorry for clumsy turn of phrase) and honestly face the issues which cause you to comfort eat.

You are very prickly! The bottom wiping comment was obviously designed to be provocative and yet you jumped on someone as soon as they mentioned it.

Maybe yoga or an exercise that improves your flexibility will help you with this aspect of your self care?

[Newyearnew2017me]

When I have gone for a poo, I have really, really struggled. It is true I am not flexible but this is why yoga isn't suitable.

The bottom wiping comment was not made to be "provocative" but to explain how repulsive I am and how desperate things are that I am struggling with this and still binge eat. It was not made to be quizzed on how I actually wipe my arse.

I don't know why you post bibbity but you do pop up on a lot of threads with comments like the one above, I seriously don't know why bother. I posted for support. I said initially I didn't really want to get into the plan I was following because I knew the nay-Sayers and the doubters and the "you will put it ALL back one" would come out. And they did. Unfortunately a supportive WL thread seems to only work if you can run and follow SW. Anyway.

[AddictedtoLovely]

Good luck. You can do this.

[Newyearnew2017me]

Thank you

I feel like I have to.

[TwoCirclesthatdontoverlap]

Wow. Can you identify the point at which wiping yourself became too challenging? if you aim to get back under that weight that would be a really motivating first goal.



Good luck

[TwoCirclesthatdontoverlap]

ps if you have good days and bad days don't worry. I no longer aim to eat the same every day. 5:2 and zig zag dieting don't insist on eating the same every day so if you eat more than you planned to one day then you haven't ruined everything. You will just naturally feel more motivated some days than on other days

[MissStressBum]

OP, I also assumed you were 20 stone plus judging from early posts. That definitely contributed to my over zealous reply! The problems you shared in the first post were very emotive, which is why people are responding so strongly.

Maybe you should get the breathlessness checked by your GP as you are not so overweight that you should be so very breathless so easily. That's concerning.

Go for it with VLCD if that is what motivates you. It is quite all or nothing, as you know, so be kind to yourself.

I 100% agree with everyone encouraging you to think about what happens when the VLCD ends.

[LuluJakey1]

Your BMI is about 39 - on the border of morbidly obese. I think your height is a big factor. At 14st 10, I was a size 16 but I am 5Ft 7. Good luck.

[Newyearnew2017me]

Thanks, Lulu it is pretty huge whichever way you look at it, I think my DH weighs about the same but obviously he's a man and 6 foot so doesn't look overweight.

[HelsBels5000]

Best of luck to you OP - I have much sympathy and much respect. I've battled with my weight since my teens. I think I've lost and gained the same 3 stone for that whole time. I am yet to establish a method which gets it off and keeps it off. However, when I want to lose weight and I'm focused,I'm pretty good at it!
If I am losing weight then I am eating well and doing some exercise (and by exercise I mean a little walk around the village I work in at lunchtime and walking the dog in the evening - it doesn't necessarily mean running on the treadmill for an hour) I find it very helpful to wear a fitbit or step counter and just keep track of how much I'm moving. I stand on the spot and 'step' whilst watching TV, I stand on the spot and step whilst the kettle boils, I stand and step on the spot whilst cooking the tea etc etc. It doesn't have to be much, but the key is to increase upon what you are doing now. Then it isn't embarrassing, nor should it make you too breathless, just someone having a walk.
Good luck!

[NotStoppedAllDay]

What kinds of things are you eating op?

Slimming world theory is to fill a third of your plate at each meal with a minimum of fruit/veg/salad. I find this works well for me ( I go to sw but only loosely follow the eating plan)

[InsertUsernameHere]

Hi OP. This might be a bit tangential but you can work on the flexibility independently of any weight issues. For me it was about finding the right person/class. I found Pilates really helpful. I started when 30-odd weeks pregnant with a few one to one classes. This was really helpful as it was completely tailored to me (i.e. I did not have to lie on the floor at all!). I can appreciate that a group Pilates class would probably be of no interest what so ever at the mo' but maybe a 1:1 with the right person would be helpful? I've had friends who have found individual sessions helpful after back surgery and the like - when even tying shoes was a challenge.