Officially my heaviest and time to change. Anyone with me?

[DreamingOfADifferentMe]

Hi all,

Well, having just returned from a gorgeous week's holiday, I decided to take the plunge and step onto the scales. Bloody hell.

I'm officially the heaviest I've ever been. I look awful. And I'm desperate to change. I've spent the last few days reading threads on here that I think will inspire me and I'm determined to make a change.

I have a number of milestones to get to, including a holiday in October, but the big one in my head is going to see the GP in a few weeks' time for a repeat prescription for my contraceptive pill. Last year, she made some reference about my weight as they may not have been allowed to prescribe it, given my high BMI. She did, and prescribed me a year's worth, and they're nearly gone. Have I lost weight? Have I heck - I'm actually heavier, and I can't bear the idea of going back and having the same utterly humiliating conversation.

So, I'm just debating the best approach. I know low/no carbs works really well for me, though I can struggle to stick with it, but that's what I'm going for initially.

This morning I weighed in at 15st 11, and I'm just 5ft 4. I'm a size 18. This cannot be who I am. I am not the woman who looks back at me in the mirror.

My mission is to shift, ideally, around 3st initially. I know that I look and feel great at 12st something, and even though I'll be far from a size 10 skinny minnie, I will feel fantastic. Then, when I get to that point, we'll see.

However, when there's such a long road ahead, I know I get easily defeated. So, does anyone fancy a hand to hold along a similar path? I'm happy to give tonnes of support and will cheer folk on, anyone fancy returning the favour?

Not disappeared just struggling to mumsnet from my phone , also low in mood so hiding away a little, cos that's what I do. But enough about that.

Short term goal is just to lose each week, medium term is to lose that first stone, in the distance long term is to try and get down to my ideal bmi/weight. Not sure I will managed the first this week (weigh day Monday) due to aforementioned mood, but am going to try.

Ninja good luck at the doctors tomorrow, and I hope your little one is ok.

Dreaming that is amazing, well done you!!! Keep on like that and you will need a whole new wardrobe for your holiday

Oh lrb, I hear you, and I won't pry but I hope that the low phase passes quickly. Do you have any quick wins that help? Just treat yourself with kindness, and share as much or as little as you want/need.

Thanks for being my cheering squad. I'm feeing really pleased with my progress and am determined to keep going.

Ninja, good luck for tomorrow.

Thanks guys. I've been feeling really I'll today. Made stir-fry for the DCs and didnt eat any myself, just had some toast. It's all I can keep down. I feel awful, but it saved me eating too much I suppose

Just checking in quickly, been really ill the last week. Everything went wrong when I went back to work and then I got unwell again. Mindful eating has somewhat fallen by the wayside TBH. Didn't even weigh myself this week, first time I've missed it.

((hugs)) to ninja and fuzz

dreaming I have just felt like I have PMT for the last 2 weeks, but have no idea where in my cycle I am (had a partial hysterectomy a few years ago). The constantly wanting to burst into tears, short temper, over sensitivity to others and bloatedness is getting a bit too much now though. Add to that getting used to new hours at work, problems with ds school and at home and you start to see where withdrawal comes in . Oh yeah and its drawing into autumn and time for SAD to kick in as well!!

Am back on the vitamin D and dark chocolate (a bit each day helps, I just have to allow for the calories), and not putting big expectations on myself. The low mood will pass, it always does. School I am trying to work on, home life I have a long term plan, the PMT I am stumped with.

sorry for the brain dump

lrb pmt is a bitch.
Glad you have plans for everything else though. Dr said I've not to put too much pressure on myself and that I could do more harm than good if I do too much exercise before seeing the physio. Duet wise, just keep it as it is, even if it means a bit extra sugar or fat some days as he said I need the energy and not to overdo it until I'm getting some solid sleep each night.
Basically don't worry too much just yet and he said that it's better if the weight comes off slowly as you are less likely to put it back on then.

Hi dreaming, I disappeared for a while but thought I would have a read and see how everyone is getting on

Well done on the Pilates, that's more than I've managed! Good to here you're keeping up with the low carb as well, I've been doing it 2 months now and lost 16lbs so far I genuinely can't believe I haven't quit, it's the first healthy eating regime that I've stuck to and felt happy with. I've also started trying to walk to and from work. Sometimes I'm just too tired to manage the walk there but if I get to walk there that's something at least!

Hope everyone is doing good

Woah, Letme, that's just amazing, well done you for sticking to it. And bravo on the walking too, I look at it that I'm far from Jess Ennis, but every day I do something active, it's more than I'd have done a month or two ago, so it's got to be positive. Don't set yourself high goals, just take each day as it comes and if you're up to doing something, go for it.

lrb, my love, that sounds really tough, I'm not surprised you're finding it hard to cope with, let alone with dieting and SAD kicking in too. I too can struggle with feeling overwhelmed and panicky and everything just feels like it's too much to contend with. Keep focussed on your long-term plan, and maybe see the doc about the PMT symptoms - they may well have something they can suggest.

Ninja, so glad you got to see the doc and his advice sounds pretty spot on. It's such early days for you after having had your littlest, just take it a bit at a time and don't beat yourself if you succumb to some sugar or treats while you're battling those dreadful sleepless nights.

Fuzz lovely, hope you're feeling better now? When you're ill, the last thing you want to be thinking and fretting about is diet, so don't beat yourself up about mindful eating. And don't beat yourself up about weighing yourself - get back to it when you're ready, but don't use it as an excuse to avoid it which is what I've always done. Come on back and get your dieting mojo back at the same time.

As for me, well, I've been sticking to it rigidly - no carbs and very little fat, no cheating at all, which is, quite frankly, astonishing for me. I've also been hitting the gym every couple of days and each time I'm doing more and more, and weirdly, I'm really enjoying it. It's not like me at all! I weighed myself a couple of days ago and the scales are saying I've barely lost a thing, which I can't understand, but I tried on a pair of size 16 jeans that I've had for ages. About a month ago, there wasn't a chance in hell of them going on, but this morning, they went all the way up and did up. Too tight to wear comfortably, but it's definitely progress. It's my birthday in three weeks and i'm determined to wear them as we're out for dinner with friends. Fingers crossed.

Good luck to everyone and keep on trucking...

Hi all! Seems we are doing well! I haven't lost any but I have found it easier to do my exercises (physio ones that I remember from before I was pregnant) so that means I'm improving and I was able to run and chase the pigeons with my toddler the other day! I've never been able to do that before. I've always been in too much pain. so i may not be losing weight but I'm making progress elsewhere.

Howdy all,

Righto, stepped onto the scales this morning and 15.5, so it's coming off bloody slowly but it's moving in the right direction. I'm actually wondering if I'm not eating enough, but it seems wrong to force myself to eat when I don't want to.

How's everyone else doing?

Hi folks. Been completely neglecting any weight loss/healthy eating while I tried struggling on at work... just been signed off til the middle of next month. :(

Hi lovely fuzz,

Sounds like you're having a rotten time. It's good news that you've been signed off and you can focus on getting your health back before you deal with added complications of work.

Are you feeling like you can focus on healthy eating in this frame of mind? If so, great, you've now got the best part of a month to get to grips with it and give yourself a real boost before you go back to work. If not, that's also fine, just take the time to get your head together, day by day, and make good decisions where you can. It'll make you feel more positive, stronger and better able to cope with whatever life throws at you. Wherever you are, head wise, come on here and we'll cheer you on...

Ninja, how are you doing, lovely? And what about you Letme?

Thanks Dreaming :) I'm kind of feeling that being off work properly (without the guilt/worry about whether or not I go in... now it's been taken out of my hands for a while IYSWIM so I can relax) will be better for many aspects of my life. I was doing really well in the summer when I was off, I was (slowly, it's true) losing weight, I was doing my graded exercise etc... it was when I forced myself to go back to work that it all went to shit. So yes I think it is a positive thing overall and I can try and really focus on getting better in many different ways. :)

I'm good, as I said I'm slowly improving. and I have a new playmate...this is George.

fuzz it sounds like being off is the best thing for you right now. Hope things improve

Great to hear it's a positive thing *Fuzz, I really hope the breathing space gives you a much-needed boost.

And Ninja, cute playmate! Glad to hear you too are improving.

Ninja Love your furry playmate :) Please listen to the GP, and I'm glad things seem to be picking up for you.

Fuzz Please take things slowly, give yourself space to focus on yourself. And please don't go back too soon if you can help it, experience has shown me it really isn't helpful in the long run. ((hugs))

Letme That's fantastic, and inspirational as well. I hope you manage to keep on going

Dreaming Wow. You are doing fabulously. And if the scales aren't saying there is much weight loss then either they are lying or you are losing fat and building muscle. Either way, clothing you previously couldn't fit in doesn't lie, so you are obviously losing inches.

As for me, unfortunately this is quiet for my life . I seem to be one of these people with a life which is permanently manic. But still. And the PMT or whatever it is seems to have eased off . Went on the scales on Monday and I was up to 90.7, which is 900g or about 2lb on last week. Chuffed though as I thought it would be more than that. Have been a lot better this week food wise, and went to the gym yesterday for the first time in ages, so hopefully I will be back on track with losing next Monday.

Morning all. Hope you have all had a good weekend. Weigh in for me today, not sure I will have lost anything,but will keep on trying regardless. Sat eating my porridge and mumsnetting, ignoring the need to be out the door soon.

Thank you lovely lovely people I do feel better knowing that I don't need to rush back right now. I miss work but I will focus on the positives.

Yesterday DH and I started to come up with a 4 week meal plan which we will start once we've used up what's in the freezer. I've allowed for some variation and flexibility (eg Saturday is going to be the day the DCs help cook and we will choose the recipe when we do the shopping that week) so hopefully won't get too bored.

Fuzz I'm sorry to hear things have been rough for you, I agree with Dreaming-don't put pressure on yourself to lose weight. It's fantastic your DH is being so supportive ?? my DP is also being my cheerleader, although perhaps an annoying one! I walked in the living room with 4 squares of dark chocolate and he was like "what's that?!" with a look on his face that said "should you REALLY be eating that?!" I had to remind him that a few squares of dark chocolate is a well known low carb treat I swear it is and I didn't go and gobble the whole bar like the old me would have!

Lrb thank you so much, I don't think anyone has ever said I was inspirational before

AnotherSENmess I hope your weigh in goes well, I need to read back this thread and see what I've missed because I think you started posting after I stopped posting!

Dreaming the slow loss is irritating isn't it? When I know I've had a great week and really stayed on track I expect to see a good chunk of loss (because I'm still very big, weight loss should be quick for me god dammit!) but I'm losing 1lb a week which I know is the sensible way to do it.

Although yesterday was weigh in and my first weigh in said I'd lost 1lb. Then I hopped on again straight away and scales said I'd gained 1lb. So obviously wanting to see the 1lb loss I jumped on AGAIN and they said I'd stayed the same so I've put a 1lb loss on MFP because I'm optimistic

The one thing I really struggle with is drinking all the water you're meant to on low carb. I'm getting better by having a water bottle by my side and drinking small sips as something to do.

I've also got a huge notebook that I write in whenever I want, normally on weigh in days or exercise days or if I've cheated I write to try and remind myself how awful it felt to cheat. It's nice to look back on it and see how happy I was recording the weight loss! I've also written down my next goal which is to get to 1.5stone lost. I have 4lbs to go until I hit that target so I think another 4 weeks and I should HOPEFULLY be able to cross that off! And if I continue losing a lb a week by Christmas I'll be 15st 7lbs so I can't wait for that

Sorry for the essay, I just wanted to update and send you all good thoughts

Oh, and another thing (I know, me again!)

The other day I forgot to have lunch!! I know that sounds completely silly and not an achievement at all, but reading the low carb boot camp threads I noticed that a lot of members usually only have 2 meals because the high fat meals keep them full (it's not recommended for people just starting low carb though)

ANYWAY, I had an omelette for a mid morning breakfast the other day (full of cream, cheese, spinach, mushrooms, onion and bacon) and at lunch time made DD's lunch but forgot about myself. I had half a pepperami at half 4 (DD nicked off with the other half) and by half 6 I was a bit irritated by how hungry I was because I don't normally eat my evening meal till about half 8. Then I realised the reason I was hungry was because I'd forgotten about lunch completely!

Like I said, I know it sounds silly, but I'm usually the type of person who obsesses about her next meal and plans it out, has it as soon as it's an acceptable time for that meal etc. so it was nice not to have to think about eating, iyswim, because I just wasn't hungry.

Ok that's enough from me, I need to get DD out her pjs and get out the house to enjoy the sunshine!

Grrr, apologies all, I forgot to name change. AnotherSENMess is me . I was 300g down this week (the scales I currently use weigh in kg and g). So not quite 1lb, but still a loss. Im aiming, initially, for 14st, which is 88.9kg, and I am currently 90.4. Slowly but surely I will get there.

Letme, I am also struggling with drinking. It has always been an issue, it has never been unusual for me to drink less than a litre a day, but recently I have been closer to 1/2 a litre . I am concentrating less on what I am drinking and more on just drinking in the hope that I can get back up to 1.5 litres a day, although still calorie counting it.

Hope everybody has had a good few days.

Hello. Please can I join? The original post really struck a chord with me as I am in the same situation, never been bigger! I have tried various diets and I do lose weight but then my resolve goes out the window so I never last more than a fortnight! I am on holiday in 2 weeks so not the best time to join but I will do an official weigh in when I get back. I reckon 15.6
Is anyone calorie counting with mfp?

Hi lamby I meant to be calorie counting but diet has soft of gone out of the window at the minute. I have 3 children, 2 of them under 2, one of them with a stomach bug, the other is only 8 weeks and I still have to get up to do the school run! Argh! I will get back in track.