Officially my heaviest and time to change. Anyone with me?

[DreamingOfADifferentMe]

Hi all,

Well, having just returned from a gorgeous week's holiday, I decided to take the plunge and step onto the scales. Bloody hell.

I'm officially the heaviest I've ever been. I look awful. And I'm desperate to change. I've spent the last few days reading threads on here that I think will inspire me and I'm determined to make a change.

I have a number of milestones to get to, including a holiday in October, but the big one in my head is going to see the GP in a few weeks' time for a repeat prescription for my contraceptive pill. Last year, she made some reference about my weight as they may not have been allowed to prescribe it, given my high BMI. She did, and prescribed me a year's worth, and they're nearly gone. Have I lost weight? Have I heck - I'm actually heavier, and I can't bear the idea of going back and having the same utterly humiliating conversation.

So, I'm just debating the best approach. I know low/no carbs works really well for me, though I can struggle to stick with it, but that's what I'm going for initially.

This morning I weighed in at 15st 11, and I'm just 5ft 4. I'm a size 18. This cannot be who I am. I am not the woman who looks back at me in the mirror.

My mission is to shift, ideally, around 3st initially. I know that I look and feel great at 12st something, and even though I'll be far from a size 10 skinny minnie, I will feel fantastic. Then, when I get to that point, we'll see.

However, when there's such a long road ahead, I know I get easily defeated. So, does anyone fancy a hand to hold along a similar path? I'm happy to give tonnes of support and will cheer folk on, anyone fancy returning the favour?

I've not weighed myself recently but I know I've lost a bit of weight, I bought a pair of jeans (size 16, like all the others I bought) that just wouldn't fasten , tried again this morning and they fasten! its not much, and considering I've not been paying attention to what I eat, I'm pleased.
How's everyone else?

Hello all,

So sorry for being AWOL, I've had so little to report that I've stayed away - I couldn't quite bring myself to return, which I know is silly.

Bravo to all of you who are making progress, I feel like I'm taking one step forward and then one greedy step back, but this morning I discovered myself at the gym, pounding the treadmill. I didn't do a huge amount, but enough to break out a sweat and I feel so much better for it.

I have six weeks until my holiday, and a few milestones before then, so I have a renewed focus. How about everyone else? I can see so many of the early days folk have faded away which is such a shame, where is everyone?

And bravo to you lrb, fatty and fuzz, keep on trucking ladies. If it was easy, everyone would be skinny, but it's not and it takes guts and determination and we have those things in spades.

Let's just nail this. No more staying the same, no more putting on, let's get back to reporting decent losses every single week. I'll start, I'll weigh in tomorrow and report back my weight loss next Thurs.

Am planning on weighing in next on Monday and will report in then. Wednesday tends to be the day I am worst at sticking to the eating plan, it is my day off work and I relax slightly. Haven't been horrendous today, but had more than usual.

I know what you mean about staying away, forced myself to post earlier. But hiding from support is daft (or that's what I tried to convince myself).

But I have had a rest, and a race needs running, so I'm gonna get my trainers back on and keep on trekking.

Ummm, maybe that was the wrong picture....

Maybe this is the right one?

3 time lucky . We will get there, nail and weight loss together

lrb nailed it
I need a new battery for my scales..
Remind me Friday and I will buy batteries and weigh in.

Well, I weighed in and I was a miserable 15st 9. The good news is that it's 2 lbs less than I was and I'm not dwelling on how much I could or should have lost in the time I've basically just fannied around.

So, today's been a weird day with a long drive to a meeting, then a drive back and all I've had so far is a latte and a couple of handfuls of nuts to keep me going. I now feel sick but will wait until later to have something which will be seriously low carb and tasty.

How about everyone else? How has everyone's day been? lab - I am LOVING your pictures, and you're so right - it's time to put on our trainers and get running if we're going to finish this damned race.

I'm running off lucozade today. Not the best thing to do as its full of sugar but I've had less than 2 hours sleep thanks to the two babies.
2lb is 2lb, is still loss, which is what we are aiming for

Too right, I'm trying hard not to beat myself up about the lack of progress, but at least I'm not heavier than before, so small mercies.

I feel for you Ninja, I too am running on very little sleep last night with my youngest having a bad dream and a trip needed to the loo, plus my middle one yelling out three times that she'd lost her covers. The meetings today were fun, I can tell you - thank the lord for caffeine. And, I have so much work to do I'll realistically be still working 'til around midnight. But, if I'm typing, I'm not eating...!

Get yourself a healthy but comforting meal this evening and head to bed as early as you can. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you for a decent night's sleep as I know how hard it is to keep going when you feel exhausted. And dieting's even harder when you're knackered!

I'm doing jacket potato with cheese and beans. Everyone enjoys a spud I think an early night is definitely needed. Will weigh in tomorrow evening once I've bought batteries!

Mmmmmm potato. I so want one now. Perfect healthy comfort dinner. Go get your batteries tomorrow and then weigh in. Enjoy your early night - I may have to have a glass of wine if I'm working!

Dreaming fantastic, 2lb off. And that's without trying. Go you.

Ninja, sometimes daily needs superceed long term goals. And the spud sounds fab. Make the most of the early night.

I think I ducked just under the 1800 calorie weight maintenance limit today. Had mocha for breakfast, chicken and leek pie for lunch, toffee pecan shot as a snack (99 cals, was starving, looked nice, wasn't disappointed), rainbow trout fillet and stir-fry for tea, with the same for lunch tomorrow.

Should have split the stir-fry into three not two, would have dropped the calories a bit more, but never mind. Not a bad day and a much better day than it could have been - fed up by 10, pissed off by lunch and ready to come home shortly after meant I would have happily had deluxe hot chocolate (squirty cream, marshmallows and extra chocolate on top) and at least one (possibly more) of a very tempting selection of cakes. I refused to give in so hopefully come Monday I will see a result.

If nobody minds, I may post another, much scarier pic before Sunday night. I want to put up a pic of me as I am now, a before shot, so I have something to refer back to. If I only put it on my phone I will delete it, putting it on here I can't.

so depressed. 15st! I've put weight in. I knew I wasn't doing well. I'm really struggling with emotional crap and I'm eating and not exercising
I'm huge, and ugly and I hate it. Sat here in tears because i am so awful.

Ninja, you are not awful. You really are not. You are a fab mum to 3 kids under 7. That takes a lot of effort in itself. Plus your back. Plus you're struggling emotionally. It is a huge amount to deal with, never mind adding losing weight into the bargain. I only have a 13 yr old ds, and am very slowly working down from 14 st 6lb, and at just under 5ft I am probably a fair bit shorter than you as well! I'm not exercising either.

BUT you said you could fit in jeans that you couldn't fit in before. Is it possible you have lost fat and gained muscle? Muscle weighs more than fat so you can gain weight but be healthier and fitter. Maybe try and find if you can get a body fat check. You may find your local pharmacy will be able to do one for you. Then, you can keep an eye on that as well, because if your bod fat goes down and you gain weight you are definitely gaining muscle.

If you want, I am on MFP and can add you? I am supposedly using that to help, and you can kick me up the (ample) butt when I slip up. If you were near me I'd suggest maybe seeing if we could meet up occasionally but that's unlikely. Am near the Welsh Border, just in case...

I've discovered why I put on weight. I've come on my period...
Thank you so much for your kind words. I'm going to speak to the doctor on Tuesday as well (I've got my 6 week check) and hopefully he can give me some useful advice.

That'll do it, every time. I'm not sure what tomorrow will show for me, I think I'm at that point in my cycle, but having had a hysterectomy almost 4 years ago I can't actually tell, other than looking at other symptoms. Hopefully the doctor will be helpful. (hugs)

Hello all,

Oh Ninja, you poor thing. Feeling that crappy about yourself casts a huge black cloud over everything doesn't it? I know it's hard (I know because I get consumed it with it too) but try and channel those dreadful feelings into doing something positive and use those crappy feelings to drive you forward. You can make a huge difference, and you will, just don't give yourself a hard time in the meantime. You've only just had your tiny one, give your body a bit of a break, and a bit of praise for being brilliant and healthily growing a baby, and make some small changes that will make you feel better. You're doing brilliantly!

lrb, your posts are so lovely and supportive. How are you doing? Have you had a good start to the week? I hope so.

I've astounded myself, truly, in the last few days. Not only have I made really good food choices but I've voluntarily hit the gym three times - last Thurs, Sat and then this morning. And do you know, I bloody loved it. I don't like exercise, I've never had that buzz from doing it - until now. I really pushed myself last Saturday, plugged in my earphones and just pounded the treadmill, and did more than I've ever done before to some great music and I felt AMAZING afterwards.

So, I'm back on the no-carbs, and now exercising... hoping to fit in a pilates session tomorrow and then back on the treadmill on Weds. Today's menu has consisted of a skinny latte after my work out, then carrot sticks with hummus and seafood sticks (the only non-carb option in Sainsbury's lunch-to-go section earlier) and although I struggled when making the kids bagels and peanut butter after school, I'm holding out for some roast chicken, cheesy courgettes and salad later. Mmmmm.

I have a black tie dinner to go to next week and my holiday is just five weeks away. I'm determined to make a difference to how I look and how I feel, so it's now or never. I'll weigh in again on Thursday and hopefully after all this exercise i'll have a decent weight loss to report...

Ninja, wishing you the best with your doctors appointment tomorrow.

Dreaming I love the adrenaline rush from the gym, but am struggling to get there at all since my work hours have increased. I think I am going to have to make do with a couple of hours on my work day off (term time anyway) and Saturday morning.

Food today has been good, I am down on my calories despite the blue and pink bobbly liquorice allsorts that were left next to me at work . Did give me the idea of getting some aniseed balls to suck on though, as they last me ages. I weighed in today as well, and have dropped 800g since the 3rd, so am happy with that. That's definitely 4lb overall, but as I am now using different scales which apparently weigh slightly heavy it may be a little more. I won't know til January when I can get back on the original ones. Its going in the right direction though. Its taken me 17 years to go from ideal weight to where I am now, and 13 years of 'baby weight', hopefully this time it'll happen.

Whoops , I forgot to name change /|\ is me. Picture of the day, cos without a big black cloud, you don't get pretty colours, and pretty colours is what we are aiming for, despite the cloud of our weight....

lrb I love the picture!
I'm feeling much better today. I had two pictures taken yesterday that I actually look half decent in so I'm happy with that! (They are only head shots)
dreaming your roast chicken sounds lovely!
I best sleep now, early start and will probably be up all night with the baby! Night all.

Morning all, well, I'm up and at 'em, and am working at the moment, hoping to get enough done first thing so I can head off to my first pilates class. Eeeek.

Roast chicken was delicious last night, and I managed a full no-carbs day, which is something to be celebrated. Not sure what's on the menu today, but I might treat myself to breakfast at the gym after the class, so maybe latte and smoked salmon and scrambled eggs while I check my emails. Mmmmmm. The thought of that can propel me through the class, I reckon.

Hope everyone has a good day, remember, we CAN and WILL do this.

I've had to cancel my doctors appointment its been rearranged for Friday at ten to ten, but baby decided to throw up all over himself and his pram so I have no way of getting down there unless I stick the poor mite in a wet pram!

Oh no Ninja, poor you and poor little mite - was it just run-of-the-mill baby sick or has he picked up a bug? Hope it's the former.

Well, I'm amazed, I went to pilates and I thought I was in for a bit of gentle stretching and relaxing. Holy hell, I'm still shaking now! It was hardcore, but oddly enjoyable too. And I feel virtuous as hell for having done it. A full hour of intense muscle stretching and, in my case, some shaking and sweating. Ugh.

Righto, rest of the roast chicken is mine for a no-carb lunch, and then tonight another no-carb offering of some kind. DH is shopping and has strict instructions. And weigh in tomorrow. Eeeeeek.

Just run of the mill sick, there has just never been so much before! At least he did it before I was sat in the doctors though!

Pilates can be knackering! I have to do it for my physio. It's good though as you have to engage your core, which helps strengthen musckes and flatten your stomach, so there's less flabby bits. It also helps bring my pelvis back together and stabilise my spine.

Oh goodness, where did everyone go?

Righto, well, I'm astounded at myself. Not did I complete the pilates class and about half kill myself in the process, but I've also hit the treadmill three times this week. I've also stuck religiously to the no carb regime and as of this morning, I've lost 4.5lbs since the weekend, which I'm delighted about and genuinely, my resolve has never felt stronger.

It's four weeks until my birthday and just under five until my holiday. I'm determined to get below 14.9 which will be the lowest I've been in about 2 years. Then, the next plan is to get down to 13 something which I've been unable to do since 2009, thanks to being preggers.

How about you all? How are you doing and what are your goals?