SLIMTEMBER: Duncan from blue and tea that makes you poo

[WhatsGoingOnEh]

It's here!!!!!! Forget all you've ever known about steady, gradual weightloss, SLIMTEMBER IS HERE.

I am DYING at your posts. The live broadcast! Lololol! I love love LOVE you, insane fabulous Rebels.

I want fag matilda, Dp bought me an ecig last night but IT DOESN'T BLEEDIN' WORK! How can they sell ecigs with flat batteries???
I don't have any real ones left and I swore to dh myself I wouldn't buy any more tobacco. :(

Yes you can join us. ShitterTea is any "detox", "cleanse" or otherwise secretly-laxative herbal tea. We drink it by the gallon, and therefore have to valet our car seats every time we hit a speed bump.

I did retail therapy yesterday instead of eating and I bought 4 cookery books! There are recipes for bread sticks, focaccia and all sort of yummy delights. I can already smell them. My plan is for ds to expand on his culinary skills and by the time I return to the my slim-fitting clothes he would have mastered the art of baking! so to perpetuate the 'lose the weight gain it back and more' myth

Deux, just hide the evidence, delete photo, have some slimtee and it will never have happened! :)

I want a ciggie .

Kids not back to school till Thursday. Realistically I need (yes I really do) to wait till they're back to school to have any hopes of sticking to plan.

I feel curiously space out/drugged after that Happy Meal. What on earth causes that? Some kind of insulin thing going on? I feel kind of wired. Totes weird.

I am back home. Afternoon part went to plan in that I posted a parcel and picked up DD's glasses. It was not part of the plan that I had to traipse round far too many shops looking for a pencil case for DS1 and then go to PIL to collect DS2 who was missing me. I really mind the first one as I have asked DS1 numerous times if he needed anything but don't mind the second. Is nice to be missed when you feel taken for granted. He was chuffed to bits with a 2 drawer chest I bought him from the pound shop for his loom bands so happiness all round.

Nearly bought hair dye but dumped my shopping when the queue was getting bigger and they shutting tills ffs.

Didn't eat anything when out. Looking forward to my baked sweet potato and fish and have been drinking water like a sensible person.

I think some of you could do more for your health by stopping smoking rather the giving up of cake. Sorry to be boring and sensible but it is my pet hate given it killed 3 of my grandparents (one didn't smoke but she lived with someone who did) and gave me asthma. Only takes two days iirc to have your lungs back to how they were before you started smoking.

what is a good shittertea that helps you lose weight but doen't make you feel ill? please PLEASE give me recommendations

I'm in, I'm sat here with tissues stuffed up my nose to stop the eternal drip drip. But still every drip must equal at least 5g of weight right? Had chicken for lunch so that was exciting. My hardcore tea is calling me now.

Fight the good fight people.

Breakfast today was 1/2 tin grapefruit blended with ice, a black coffee and about 30,000 fags. Let's not talk about lunch. Fiancé and I went out for lunch at a pub we're thinking of booking for our wedding reception. I ordered the seafood platter ("cold cuts and tomatoes seasoned with lemon juice" was nowhere on the menu, I checked) which turned out to be F'KING ENORMOUS. Like an entire ocean of fish swimming in mayonnaise.

It was lovely.

Luckily I was shoehorned into my too-small Primark skinny jeans which act like a gastric band when I sit down, so I couldn't finish it. And I didn't have wine, only fizzy mineral water. And I didn't steal many chips off his plate.

My period is due on 7th September and I am DELIRIOUS with PMT. I don't know whether to sob or kill.

In better news, I got my new copy of Women's Health mag earlier and there are a TON of good fitness/diet tips in there. Which I've promptly forgotten but will re-read and post later.

Victrix, lol!

itsfab "Only takes two days iirc to have your lungs back to how they were before you started smoking"

That's sadly not true. It takes 10 years of not-smoking to cut your risk of lung cancer down to just 50% higher than that of a lifelong non-smoker.

We will give up but don't nag us. Nobody here is advocating fags as a diet supplement!

Whats, you fulfilled the low carb and dinner part of dayone: ''two out of three ain't!''

I've considered, several times, restarting smoking as a weight loss method. I gave up in 1997

I definitely was told on tv it takes 48 hours to get them back - no mention of reducing cancer risk. I am not nagging. Your choice.

I am about to have my tea.

Don't do it, TWOTS.

I'd best not tell you about my other bad habits itsfab

I now crave Meatloaf! TheWhole for you and everyone of us who is giving/gave up food, alcohol, cigarettes

Sorry Itsfab. As an ex-smoker, I can assure that it takes much longer than 48hrs for your lungs to recover; the carbon dioxide is neglible after 48hr (although I use to pass the test after 24!) by the machine they use to breathalise you if you try to quit with the NHS.

This sounds like the motivation ( kick up the backside I need). Went shopping at the weekend for a new work skirt. Size 14 was tight. Assistant kindly offered to get the next size. No friggin' way!! Something needs to give and it isn't going to be my skirt seams.

Back from work, this is the most dangerous time of the day - I can never eat when I work, and didn't have the alloted grapefruit either.

had two boiled eggs - good thing they were waiting in the fridge, otherwise things would have been messy, as in cheese on toast and biscuits messy.

So, eggs and some melon which is representing the grapefruit from breakfast.
And tea. But builder's tea, can't face the detox one.

Will have a bath later, i'm safe from eating there. I think.
the moment I start eyeing up my Clarins body oil for purposes other than smearing over self might not be too far off...

I am coming out of lurkerdom in order to say I think you all look slimmer already! I'd like to sign up!

I've had two protein shakes today and will have a small dinner later. Want to lose a stone in total but aiming for 7lbs this month. Doing low calorie this week, soup next week and repeat.
Fed up of my love handles and stomach. DH loves a curvaceous stomach but he can caress his own from now on!

I'm liking the sound of icy grapefruit & a stash of boiled eggs in the fridge.

Have decided to have a lovely last night of holidays meal before going back to work meh tomorrow, so I might not be having just lamb steaks & veg...

Having said that, have gone all day on a glass of kiwi, lime & wheatgrass smoothie, a tablespoon of hummus with veg and a nectarine plus two coffees and a slim tea, so at least have done some damage limitation.

the moment I start eyeing up my Clarins body oil for purposes other than smearing over self might not be too far off...
lol....Good job is not coconut oil @ over 900kcals

Time to admit I have failed day 1 of the Duncan blue diet - lunch was 2 pieces of cake. BUT - it was hairy dieters apple cake so technically it counts as fresh fruit right? The fruit just happened to be surrounded by lovely cake.

I have come across this which I am planning to have for dinner in place of the boiled eggs and salad, should be about the same amount of calories/chemical composition (whatever the diet is based on) I think and looks a bit more interesting. I may regret the combination of chillies and shitter tea tomorrow but it will hopefully cancel out the cake overdose.

My new Jillian DVDs have arrived today too so I am going to use the cake related energy to do some exercise as no doubt tomorrow jumping will be a bad idea.

thewholeofthespoon Don't been joke about starting again! No no no noooooo. You'd have to quit again, and that'd make you pile weight on.... Nope.

That song is lovely! I LOVE country songs. Maybe our Slimtember anthem should be a country song? To the tune of Jolene: "curry, curry, curry, cur-reeeeee, I'm begging of you please - don't take my naan."

Oh dear lord!
All this calories in body oil!

Now what happen when you pout it on your skin - does your body absorb the calories?
That would be devastation.
I'll be choking on dry toast and my bum will be mainlining the oily stuff.

I hadn't thought about absorbing calories through the skin. Maybe is best if OH pouts on our skin, the calories would his/hers, surely?!