SLIMTEMBER: Duncan from blue and tea that makes you poo

[WhatsGoingOnEh]

It's here!!!!!! Forget all you've ever known about steady, gradual weightloss, SLIMTEMBER IS HERE.

I always think that I'll eat cold boiled eggs from the fridge but can never face them.

bleeding DH loves a curvaceous stomach but he can caress his own from now on! Just awesome!!!

This thread is keeping me very cheerful I have to say. Very much hoping the DCs go to bed quietly tonight, I expect a sense of humor failure at some point before my next meal.... which is..... eggs. DH is going to be mightily . Wait til the food delivery arrives

[hmmm]
I shall be demanding a petition for all skin care products to have their calories clearly printed on the box.

DH can't be trusted. No way.

Yay! It's time for some cardboard ricecakes.
Then off to Morrisons for broccoli (surprisingly high calorie) and caulie (satisfyingly low calorie) to bulk up dinner and con my belly into believing it's full of cake.
I tried my frock today to see how far I had to go.....and I don't think I like it. The net is scratchy and the neckline is wrong for my huge norks. Luckily I'll have probably shrunk out of it by January.

Test coming. Doing the kids fish fingers and chips for tea. Lovely nice chunky chips but I will resist.

I used to be clever. I used to be able to retain information. Clearly I was wrong about the lung thing. Happy to be corrected.

How about drawing faces on eggs, so they face you! :)

Don't worry Itsfab the memory returns when they're older.
My mancub is 15 now and I'm back to normal

donnie I bought the Original Shitter Tea™ From Holland & Barratt and it worked v fast don't leave the house.

Also bought easily led Slim Tea from Tesco - not tried them yet as I'm buried under a poo-valanche of tea bags.

BUT ...

Had a lemon and ginger tea with a wedge of lemon squeezed in it and left to steep AT WORK this morning, and I was CLEANSED in a flash. Luckily the loo is near .

So don't despair if you don't have the original, try the Emergency Evacuation™ one.

I want some of the SkinnyHappyHorny pills. I like quick fixes.

Let's not talk about memory! I'm hoping to regain some ability to finish a coherent sentence, once I am over to the other side (menopause).

I haven't braved the tought of cooking the yummy broiled, skinless, fatless fish yet whilst dh and ds will be having fat.

Yep, that's lemon and heat for you. Mind you if you left the rind to steep that would have Purified you as well!

Favadi, cook the fish in a foil parcel with lemon (careful!), herbs, fish stock, etc. I PROMISE you, it's not that bad. When I was doing Scarsdale, I used to allow myself a teaspoon of tartare sauce with it.

October's issue of Women's Health (they have a great website too) has a fab feature on salads. That chef bloke, Marcus Wareing, has created 10 amazing salad recipes and LOADS of them are low carb/Scarsdale friendly.

I can't be arsed to copy them out and they're not on the site yet, so I'll upload photos of them. Is that a huge infringement of copyright? I can't risk prison food. Ooh though maybe I'd fall out with the red-head Russian chef and get starved out..? A la Orange is the New Black... Ok it's worth the risk...

I have some limes festering in the fridge, will they have the same effect as lemons or shall I save them for my G&T (slimline, obviously)?

Can you read these?
Am I going to prison?

Oops, that's not the right WOmens Heakth website address. Sorry. The right one is www.womenshealthmag.co.uk

I like that Whats, I have lots of fish stock in the freezer for next time. :) Tonight I'm having some salad with flaked basa fillets I cured in lemon juice (frozen from a previous batch and only one portion left). Whilst the boys are having thai green (with coconut!) beef which is going to cook for 30mins when mine is ready in seconds. At least I have a tune to cook with now
That's it need to get dinner on!

Test passed. No chips. No fish fingers even though did one too many. Had a ten piece sized bit of the bread crumb and hated myself for it.

Great news LaconicIcon.

I had my second tea. Doesn't work fast with me, why is that? .

Feeling emotional atm. No idea why.

DD starts grammar school tomorrow but don't think it is that.

Couldn't be arsed making an omlette, had a grilled pork chop and a microwave bag of veg. Yum . I have now offically entered The Danger Zone. I stuff my face afterdtea all the way to bedtime.

Scarsdale friendly salads :)

I've never tried with lime, an non alcoholic mohito might count as a salad with a twist!

Anyone ever done the Dr Perricone diet, aka the Facelift Diet? It looks AMAZING. I'm going to do this for 3 days after Scarsdale. I'm worried I'll get so gaunt (ha ha ha ha ha) that my face will look about 100 years older, so this will plump it out.

www.perriconemd.co.uk/dr-perricone-diets-the-3-day-diet/

You can eat loads on that. You're not allowed coffee though? WTAF?

Itsfab, have you got your period yet? If not, could that be the emotional reason? YAY on resisting kids' tea and PFFFFT to a crumb of bread - it's nothing.

Cocolepew, tea-till-bed is my danger time too. I was thinking of filling some of the time up, rather vainly, with beauty treatments. Maybe pampering ourselves/treating ourselves like we are BEAUTIFUL, will stop us sabotaging with stodge?

Cravings pass really quickly, so before we're allowed to eat anything naughty, we should try:

• painting our nails (so we can't rip open packets of crisps for a good 45 minutes),

• doing a facepack (good, because we can't chew)

• having a long bath/exfoliate (don't use the NSpa chocolate bubble bath, ask me how I know)

• sorting out our clothes

• reading a magazine (not Good Food)

Etc

Think I might turn into a salmon if I tried that Whats

My REAL danger-time is before I work. I'm a freelance writer and before I start ANY article, I get a coffee... And a biscuit or nine. It's just one of the many ways I procrastinate. I procrastin-eat.

I have something to write tonight, so I will use it to break the cycle.

I'm currently necking Twinings' Salted Caramel Green Tea and it actually satisfies a sweet craving!

Victrix, I'll try it and report back. :)