SLIMTEMBER: Duncan from blue and tea that makes you poo

[WhatsGoingOnEh]

It's here!!!!!! Forget all you've ever known about steady, gradual weightloss, SLIMTEMBER IS HERE.

*God, do you think, by mid-September, we'll all be so grumpy and tired and hollow that this thread will disintegrate into tiny, terse posts? "Ate more CUNTING carrots. Half a pound lost. Killed DH, hopefully will resist urge to go cannib... Ah fuck." - I actually did a proper piggy snort at that!

Oi you lot behave!! My DH thinks im having an affair as i keep sneaking off to check my fone ;-)
Think it was a good day...no brekkie,,green tea, lunch at 4pm of mince and an activia yogurt...then lamb curry and 2 naana for dinner..oops!!

Been out to a BBQ this evening
Had a ryvita and some port salut cheese for lunch , and an activia prune yoghurt for a mid afternoon snack
Breast of grilled chicken and some salady stuff ( very nice sweetcorn , black bean and coriander combination )
DH ( no self control ) had sausages (2) burger , lamb Kofta and chicken , salads and French bread
And ( totally forgetting our no alcohol in September a beer and a glass of red wine that's ok , he's given in before me , so I can have a glass of white to give me the strength to watch X factor

Bought slimmers tea and green clean tea . Hhhhhm .. Which one shall I try first
Is it best to have at night and GO in the morning ?
I'm having a black coffee now , might have a green clean in the morning ( with a slice of lemon ) to make sure

You are all just too funny. Our next thread title must include cunting carrots.

I have eaten far too much fruit today. "Fill up on fruit"? Ha. C'est n'pas possible.

My 'hamburger' meatballs bolognaise was pretty good.

20 minutes since I dropped the LJ bomb, and all it's produced is one small, unsatisfactory fart. I've just covered my duvet in a really heavy velvet blanket. I'm scared I'll wake up at midnight and my weakened, starved limbs (busily burning muscle mass from crash dieting) won't have the strength to release me from my covers. I'll just flail ineffectually then lie there and let go. Will waking up covered in shart be a higher or lower dieting-point than waking up covered in Quavers wrappers, like I did last week?

And I've just had a Pukka detox tea. How I like to goad the gods of faecal continence!

So I ate 5 choc chip cookies but on the positive side I am not feeling guilty. I usually hate myself for eating so that is a win.

Best weigh down tomorrow.

If anyone can answer me on Style & Beauty that would be appreciated. Off to bed shortly so by 7.45am tomorrow would be especially good. Thanks .

Lemon juice isn't doing the trick for me either what's, my tummy is a bit growly but that's it.

Unrelated: a tip from Woman's Health said that drinking 2 cups of spearmint tea every day, for 5 days, helps rebalance hormones. It will stop my your body having too many male hormones in it. Which in turn, will stop me you getting those random chin hairs.

Yes, I'm the Total Package. Farting, about to shart my velvet, sprouting whiskers.

at self

Constipation=Lemon juice and hot water/drink on empty stomach*.
Water retention=Lemon skin (juiced) steeped for 20mins".

*No slithering, no spare rooms required. :) It acts as an emollient and hydrates allowing easier 'movement'. It is also used for indigestion and diarrhea. I'll try and find some more info on how it works (hopefully in English)

itsfab just follow a set diet!

OH. It's the "drink on empty stomach" bit that I didn't do. Catching my stomach empty is like waiting for Halley's Comet.

Well done everyone. Only 28 days left of September
Still sniggering about the chili tainted suppository. Ouchie tho.
I have eaten very little today, and yesterday but the scales hadn't moved this morning.

Shall we all weigh now? IME, if we weigh the same now as we did this morning, we'll be lighter tomorrow.

Ok no. Let's NOT do that. Lemon juice appears to have a far denser chemical structure than expected. Tenfuckingstonefuckingten.

Apparently if extra stregth LJ is required, one can add chilli or a pinch of bicarbonate of soda (it doeas not state what would happen if both are added).

Woo!

11.10!

3lb lighter than this morning! All that water must have paid off.

Or maybe the chilli has done something amazing to my metabolism?

Is it wrong that I am wondering what would happen if I shoved a whole chilli up my bum?

I can't weigh myself, don't have scales, I have to go to the drs round the corner and use the ones in the waiting room.

Not weighing until the middle of the month.

Didn't eat much, exercised fuckloads.

Am already tense and angry doesn't bode well for the next 28 days......;)

I can feel I should even glimpse at either scales. I haven't had the lemon, I blame it on the mince 2 ton of it.

CatThief that is exceedingly worrying, actually whole would probably be okay, a whole one chopped, would be.....why am I even considering this?

I am hungry.

God no. I've got a belly full of cauliflower. It weighs about 3 stone meaning it passes through the body entirely by it's own traction.
Weight x gravity = quick exit, I'm hoping it doesn't stay in long enough for my thighs to absorb the calories on the way through

*shouldn't!! Really must find my glasses!

Late dinner but TBH I have kinda gone beyond hunger so struggling to eat. I am not convinced it is meant to be mince rather than burgers because it has to be broiled which I am sure is american for grilled and you can't grill mince!

Need to weigh myself tomorrow not done it yet

Just had a hot chocolate in lieu of actually eating as I was so hungry. Seems to have done the trick.

Trying to decide when to weigh...

Have managed two days of Justin (not from Blue)'s 3 day detox, so that's two days of veg and fruit juices and no solid food. Last night I dreamt I had eaten a bag of Doritos and woke up in a clammy panic. One more day to go... An hoping it will kickstart a no snack month?