How can I lose 10lbs before my holiday on, er, Monday?

[WhatsGoingOnEh]

In a panic. Was meant to start diet in May but one thing (or rather, one pizza) led to another and now I've got less than a week.

I'm 5'6" and look great at 9st 7. This morning I was 10st 11! Shiiiiiiiit!

What can I do? I really REALLY need to crash some of this off. I don't care if it's unhealthy, it's only for a few days and I can do it properly when I get home.

Any and all ideas MASSIVELY gratefully received. What are your tried and tested tricks? Thank you!

I had a practice run yesterday to eat and cook a la Scarsedale using ingredients I had in and following no particular day. I was so hungry I licked the pan until all the flavour went and I am looking forward to week 3 when we are allowed a sniff of olive oil Down 1lb this morning! :)
I finally got round to read properly the scarsdale menu sample: it sooooo different to the original menu poster I had (and lost)! I am relieved we can actually use herbs and marinades. In the original 70's menu (never read the book might need to order an 80's copy)- inherited from my mum- you were only allowed lemon juice and fruit was only in the form of grapefruit in the morning.

Just watched (not tried!) a couple of the Tracy Anderson youtube videos and I am already aching!

I have MFP, CTK but as I cook from scratch a lot most meals aren't in and I can't be bothered to weigh every last thing plus I don't make just one portion so it makes it tricky. Lunch at PIL so food poisoning is possible so not all bad. Or at least tummy ache .

We definitely can't really afford a dog at the moment. Looking at how many toys and treats the cats get I know I would be the same with a dog and I know they cost more. One day though.

10, 8, I can only dream.. Well done! Maybe it was all that cleaning?

CatThief I just tried following your advice. First attempt I couldn't see a crease because my enormous norks dangled over and got in the way.

I put on my bra to hoist the buggers out of the way and stop them interfering. Now I still can't really see where the crease is because my fat around my middle is like a gelatinous layer that can move freely around under my skin. It sort of wobbled itself over to the side I was bending and settled in a smooth layer over where my waist must be! So I'm just going to estimate where I think the crease must be hiding underneath. Maybe the 'after' measurements will be easier to take

Well, I failed miserably on the tomato soup diet. I was down 6lb by day 4 then on day 5 I'd regained it all so I ate 2 bags of crisps and loadsa choc and I haven't stopped since.
I'm bloody rubbish at this. My next plan is DIY liposuction. Desperate times call for desperate measures!

When I got married a few years ago, I spent a fortnight eating nothing but porridge and lost half a stone. So my plan is to have a Tesco Ultraslim sachet for breakfast and a bowl of porridge for lunch and dinner with some grated apple on top.

I made the fatal mistake of trying some trousers on in Zara yesterday afternoon. Horrendous experience not helped by all the twig like teenagers swanning about in their undies moaning about their non-existent fat.

My usually comfy Next skinnies felt too tight yesterday so I've got to shift this half a stone.

I'm going to start slimtember on Tuesday as I still have one cabbage soup day to go.
Can anyone tell me the first week of Scarsdale plan please? While I wait for the book to arrive

I can't go for a weigh in.

I think there's a squirrel upstairs.
Woke me up in the night, was next to my pillow.
I reached, it jumped, I woke up DH, he looked under his pillow, behind the curtains, and pronounced the room clear.
I slept on the sofa downstairs - it's in a room that was locked, so squirrel free.

DH out for a walk with useless dog - who slept through the commotion, having left nuts in strategic places upstairs to help locate the squirrel.

I have a feeling he does not believe me. Self medicating with tea. Too early for even by my standards.

Pillock.

If I were to post in relationships they would tell me to LTB. DH, not bastarding squirrel.

I think you are hullucinating through lack of food unless you are Beatrix Potter
I forgot to weigh myself this morning and I've gone and had breakfast. I'll wait until I had a poo.

Lentil soup is being made

Lentil soup update, I've put too many lentils in and could build a wall with it.
If I ate a slice I'd be 8lbs heavier immediately.

Add a load more stock and then freeze it for a new extension

Have lurked since last week and read entire thread (took bloody ages, had to hide from the 4 dc as they kept interrupting )
I have managed to keep to about 10st 4lb by practically NO carbing for 3-4 years but had loads of migraines and increasing illness so have tried increasing carbs without gaining weight and failed, badley.
Last week I weighed 11st 1lb and could have shit myself and cried at the same time.
So, inspired by you lot I started the Duncan blue diet on Friday. I have felt pretty crap ever since. First day, got migraine, second day felt sick and dizzy and third day ( today) already feel dizzy and got headache

Will I stop???? No Freaking Way!!!
I'm hardcore ( or really really stupid, you decide)
So I am slimtembering with you, but will have slight hiccup in that I am having my gallbladder removed on the 8th.
Good luck my fellow diet rebels.

I bet a gallbladder is really heavy, you'll be instantly lighter.

I don't have much left to be removed, I'm hollow. Why I weight so much is beyond me

Think we have met before Coco, and have things in common we'd rather not have had. ( correct me if I'm wrong, hyster with added extras, hypothyroid and daily steroid meds but sure there's more!) bet my poxy gallbladder weighs about the same as a grape! Hope I've got loads of extremely heavy stones in it
But I refuse to be content with 11st. Partly because I'm actually fat at that weight , really splodgy and squidgy busting out of 14s. My size 12s are only comfortable below 10st 5lb. But look much better at 10st if I'm honest.

Can anyone who's done the Duncan blue one before tell me, can we not have veg instead of the salad?
And any other tips to stop me feeling like I'm dying??

CatTheif you definitely need a bra when doing 30 day shred. Otherwise by the time you reach the end of it you'll slap yourself unconscious with your flappy boobs.

I used to do the shred regularly. I remember once I had the volume muted and could hear a slapping sound everytime I was doing those side to side ski jumps. Took me a while to figure out it was my flabby belly slapping against my thighs. Was truly mortified.

Really looking forward to Scarsdale tomorrow. I've had the most hideous fortnight and have put on the half stone I'd lost with 2 weeks of Atkins. If Scarsdale does teach you a sensible approach to eating then that's what I really need. However in the spirit of reckless eating that is the epitome of this thread I'm going to combine with a day of farting every week (500 cals) Because Scarsdale alone sounds too sensible for me.

So I'm starting off at 10.5 stone (147lbs). I'm 5'2 so would love to be back to 8.5 stone. That's as low as I can go without ending up with boobs that look like golf balls in a saggy old pair of socks.

But then you can make jokes about how many stones you've lost in one day.

I'm also waiting on a date to get my gallbladder removed and may have my fingers crossed for Slimtember...

FGS, I meant a day of fasting! Not farting.

Although, I'm sure that could also prove handy...

TheDiet is that a 5:2 related typo or are you burning 500 calories every time you fart??

Ah x-post

I wouldn't risk shittertea if I was you.

Ohh sounds like we have 14k

If farting made you thin I'd lose sight of DH and the dog.

Lentil soup was v nice so was th Quality Street

Hello lovelies. I typed a long post earlier and it went poof so i decided to make the most of August by having toast, butter and marmite followed by four teaspoons of nutella as pudding.

I'm going to do the Harcombe Diet, Phase 1 which lasts for 5 days. Of all the diets, this one appeals as it does seem to offer some variety. Itsfab have you looked at the Harcombe, especially with you enjoying cooking. I thought it might fit better with family meals though how I'm going to resist potatoes I don't know. To me, potatoes (any format) and gravy is a Complete Meal.

I have a shopping list ready to go at Amazon - Slimatee, Harcombe book, 2kg Epsom Salts, Lysine (to help,prevent cold sores given my recent eruption), high dose pure fishoils as my skin is terrible right now, and that powder stuff that I can't remember the name of right now.

I was at Ikea yesterday too! Had to have meatballs, chips and no veg, of course.

I'm off to try to make some Valencian alioli. I found a cheats recipe online. Ingredients - garlic(lots), oil and one egg.

No signs of squirrels. I did scrub most skirting boards and woodwork downstairs with sugar soap, not sure how that's going to improve the squirrel situation though.

Anyway, that must have burned hundreds of calories.
Cup of tea, no biscuit and will be off to sort out bedroom and spare bedroom in a moment.

The day of farting has really tickled me, am lolling and really getting on dd1 (16) s nerves she said she thinks I'm weird "texting" people I don't know. Easy for her to say with her taut firm size 8 body.

The squirrel thing is weird. I hope it escapes before Slimtember or by day 3, you'll be guiltily logging its calories into MyFitnessPal.

How many posts is a thread allowed to have on MN? Is it 1000? Shall I start a dedicated Slimtember/Shittember (lol) one in Weight Loss Chat?

I had a Scarsdaley lunch: chicken breast baked in chicken stock with mushroom, French beans and ratatouille. Reallllllly filling and tasty. Should be having steak tonight but we're out at a friends' house having "drinks and nibbles". I'm AWFUL at things like that, I DESTROY the nibbles within seconds.

Going to wear something tight so I'm less likely to cheat.