**Guidance for a mother who has gained more than 70lbs in four years**

[MTTC]

Before the children, weight was 120lbs, now four years later, 195lbs. This is primarily due to the less active lifestyle (staying at home after losing job) and dramatic change in diet (can only eat what I can afford due to extraordinary drop in income).

I know all there is to know about a healthy balanced diet. The children get a very well balanced diet; do not eat junk food (never an advocate of fast food and cannot afford it more importantly), and they eat vegetables everyday (no exceptions) and fresh fruit when it is bought. No carbonated drinks; chocolate and crisps in moderation. There is a cooked meal everyday (yes, everyday) for the children; their meals planned daily, covering the recommended food groups, but as a parent, if there is not enough food to go around, I eat what I can, so at times (more than not) having a balanced diet does not apply to me; usually end up eating bread. Due to my dedication to the chidlren they are bright, happy and are not aware (and should definitely not be) of the pressures in the household due to the financial restraints.

In order to attempt a change personal lifestyle, more so, in fitness, I asked a ?friend? to join me in attempting to lose weight by jogging (which is what we used to do with her many years ago). At first, she said yes, but made excuses four times in succession (with low self- esteem, and feeling very self-conscious I needed the moral support of someone with me). Then she stated that, ?I had not gained that much weight? and did not need to do anything as I ?carried it well?. I told her a 75lb weight gain in four years was significant. We ended up arguing, and she said there are more important things going on in the world then worrying about weight!

I understand there are far more important issues going on in the world (the daily news does not let you forget), but I would like to do something for myself - for once. I can feel the pain in the lower back, and the rolls of fat under the skin at my sides. My knees are painful at times, especially going up and down stairs, and sometimes I get out of breath, and also noticed a small pain in the centre of my chest during the night when lay down.

I believe I need to do something before it gets to a point where I will not be able to it without medical assistance.

So, how do I do it? how do I make the first step in changing the way I look, when there is limited time, money, and lack of confidence?

Any honest advice will be appreciated, as I just need that extra push from those who (are not my 'friend') may understand that it is not the when it is the how - thank you.

Hi FirstLastEverything!! - I do try to eat with the children when I can, but yes sitting down does signify it as a meal.

Hi ladyintheradiator!

I appreciate the question, however, as I mentioned previously (though you may not have read the reply), I am using this thread as a means to better my lifestyle and health, and not using it to discuss any other issues that my detract. I am learning that once you start another topic of discussion within a thread, it can dramatically alter the entire direction.

I hope you understand.

But it's relevant, MTTC - if you can tell us what your children can't eat then we might be able to come up with some suggestions for you to eat as a family.

Thank you all for your comments over the last few days it has helped considerably.

In the next few weeks will provide and update on progress.

To be frank, your decision to ignore people who ask questions you don't like and your passive aggressive stance has put me off helping you.

Glad it's not just me

I dont think thats fair on the OP. She said her children have some medical issues and wants to keep them out of it. She may be trying an alternative diet or something which she doesn't want to get into here.

OP you've got some good advice here that you can use in isolation so good luck with that.

Of course it's fine to keep the children's medical details out of it, we have only asked what they can't eat, to try and help the OP.

Also agree it is a weird thread.

The OP seems to me to be thanking everybody for their input and then one by one dismissing us all. I am not sure what she is looking for really. A medal for putting her children first, perhaps? I am also worried that she has some very faddy ideas about what is good or bad which is making it very difficult to get through to her.

I also think her children's diet is relevant in so far as I can't see why she can't eat what they are eating which would save on cooking times and costs as well ensured that the OP ate properly.

I suspect, though maybe totally wrong, that op has put her children on an alternative diet which requires expensive organic and 'pure' food which is probably too expensive for op to make more of and feed herself with.

Might be barking up the wrong tree but it is the only thing that might make some sense.

exexe - Spot on - Thank you!!!!

Will update in the next few weeks!!!!!!

MTTC - v well done on giving up all that bread, what a huge change!

It's great that you've had such good advice on here, it's obviously always sensitive around weight/one's kids but you asked for help and have got it and on an open forum people are going to say what they wish.

I think BIWI and some others on your thread have been v supportive so don't rush to dismiss/ignore what they say. BIWI's bootcamp has some very good guidelines for low-carbing if that's the route you want to go..

Good luck anyway, it's a journey for us all!

MTTC - WOW organic diet... why not just say so? Why all the bloody secrecy and cloak and dagger behaviour? It's most odd!

But you have managed to make this is the most tiresome and frustrating thread I have ever read.

And does anyone else here think odd to feed your children expensive organic food if you are so short of money that there isn't enough for yourself as well? And odd to be so secretive?

Actually not sure why I or anyone else still posting, the OP has been so rude to so many people offering genuine support and help.

This thread has been such an odd read that I've felt compelled to post.

How can someone who believes that tinned tomatoes (and other foods) are the work of the devil happily drink cows' milk?

Odd thread tho I find myself wondering if the OP is actually American - the thanks for each post even when advice is disliked has that feel. Anyhooo...

For me, weight control is about 2 things, getting outside and eating at the right times for my metabolism. If you are a SAHM, get walking to supermarkets with a backpack - an old lady style shopping trolley would mean you walk further than if you just have to carry it home. As for food, for me the old advice of big breakfast, medium lunch and tiny dinner (often poached eggs on toast, canteen salad with chicken and porridge/bowl of cereal for me) stops the 4pm energy crash when I hit the biscuit barrel.

I had wondered if the OP is not from the UK - e.g. weights in pounds rather than stones/pounds or kilos, and the worry about GM foods (which are not sold for human consumption here, but are in the US for example). Maybe where she lives, the tinned tomatoes tend to contain more salt .

I agree it's a slightly odd thread - still if OP is genuine I hope she's doing well with the diet/exercise changes, there's been lots of good advice on here.

BIWI, I was thinking that myself. It's just too weird. You don't feed organic food to the rest of your family if you means you literally can't afford to eat. Bizarre.

Well you would if you thought your childrens medical problems could be helped by it. Some people think that some health problems can be helped if you take 'toxins' and 'poisons' out of diet.

Also that organic and pure food are nutritionally superior and provide vitamins that currently processed food doesn't.

I realise that my post sounds a bit 'Huntery' so I have reported it.

I didn't mean it to come across that way.