**Guidance for a mother who has gained more than 70lbs in four years**

[MTTC]

Before the children, weight was 120lbs, now four years later, 195lbs. This is primarily due to the less active lifestyle (staying at home after losing job) and dramatic change in diet (can only eat what I can afford due to extraordinary drop in income).

I know all there is to know about a healthy balanced diet. The children get a very well balanced diet; do not eat junk food (never an advocate of fast food and cannot afford it more importantly), and they eat vegetables everyday (no exceptions) and fresh fruit when it is bought. No carbonated drinks; chocolate and crisps in moderation. There is a cooked meal everyday (yes, everyday) for the children; their meals planned daily, covering the recommended food groups, but as a parent, if there is not enough food to go around, I eat what I can, so at times (more than not) having a balanced diet does not apply to me; usually end up eating bread. Due to my dedication to the chidlren they are bright, happy and are not aware (and should definitely not be) of the pressures in the household due to the financial restraints.

In order to attempt a change personal lifestyle, more so, in fitness, I asked a ?friend? to join me in attempting to lose weight by jogging (which is what we used to do with her many years ago). At first, she said yes, but made excuses four times in succession (with low self- esteem, and feeling very self-conscious I needed the moral support of someone with me). Then she stated that, ?I had not gained that much weight? and did not need to do anything as I ?carried it well?. I told her a 75lb weight gain in four years was significant. We ended up arguing, and she said there are more important things going on in the world then worrying about weight!

I understand there are far more important issues going on in the world (the daily news does not let you forget), but I would like to do something for myself - for once. I can feel the pain in the lower back, and the rolls of fat under the skin at my sides. My knees are painful at times, especially going up and down stairs, and sometimes I get out of breath, and also noticed a small pain in the centre of my chest during the night when lay down.

I believe I need to do something before it gets to a point where I will not be able to it without medical assistance.

So, how do I do it? how do I make the first step in changing the way I look, when there is limited time, money, and lack of confidence?

Any honest advice will be appreciated, as I just need that extra push from those who (are not my 'friend') may understand that it is not the when it is the how - thank you.

exexe - Thank you for the idea!

I do use lentils, peas (dried and soaked), but not in a large quantity, so yes, I could alter the amount for myself personally.

Many thanks!!!!

Good luck with it. It does look like an excuse though, the first post. I fyou want to exercise just do it. Do it at home - just do skipping or jumping on the spot. If you eat less you will lose weight so if you were really utterly short of money and food you'd be really really skinny.
I am not poor. I bought two Tesco swedes last week on line for 90p each. May be that is too much for you, I don't know. Their carrots are about 70p a pack. I eat a lot of tinned fish. A tin of sardines is about 62p. Give up all bread for a start, all of it 100% of it.

Xenia - Thank you for your post appreciate the comment.

I used to think that, 'how can you be so big when you are so poor'. The truth of the matter is with children you still need to eat, you need the energy, and sometimes, just grabbing bread with butter will stave off hunger for a while and I can easily consume almost half a loaf over a day without thinking. It is not ideal.

In regards to bulk buying, well, variety is key to a healthy lifestyle requiring all the seven food groups, though it will fill the gap, and my children deserve more consideration and effort on my part. And buying carrots and tins of sardines does not a balanced diet make. I shop at Tesco, they are not cheap. However, yes, I agree too much bread (starch and carbohydrates) need to be reduced or removed.

Thank you again!!!

Sardines with raw carrots which I often eat and takes about 2 seconds to prepare is one of my core meals with a bit of heated up brown rice. It seems to work for me but I'm not saying I have it every day of the week. It or something similar was my dinner last night and I am working my way through one of the swedes raw over the next few days.

Anyway good luck with changing your diet.

Many thanks Xenia, I do appreciate your response to my thread!!!

MTCC one of the things I found most helpful was to use a smaller plate. I use a dessert plate for my dinners now [with no seconds]. Obviously that reduces the amount of food that I dish up but I am sure it has a psychological effect also.
I agree with the suggestion about using more pulses and beans. I am vegetarian, I find things like pulses, cottage cheese, chopped mixed nuts and so on are reasonably priced sources of protein.

fatlazymummy - Makes sense to use a smaller plate, and yes on the nuts, which I do enjoy very much (unsalted/raw) and also seeds is something else I enjoy!

Many thanks!!!

Fresh fruit and veg - Aldi. Buy no more than you would use in a week as to be honest it doesn't last long (a good thing - means its not treated, right?) Super 6 is 6 different fruit and veg each week, usuallly 59p each. Buy extra when there's stuff you really like and make up batches - enough for all of you - of meals to freeze. That's a start.

MTTC

"Yes, I have a Tesco; however, the salt in the can of tomatoes if more than in two packet of crisps (not sure would like to give my children that amount of salt)"

What on earth are you buying?! I've just checked the carton of tomatoes I have in my cupboard (Sainsbury's Basics) and the amount of salt given is shown as 'trace'. So I can't see how this statement can be true!

And also "I am not a fan of canned foods" - why is this? Nothing wrong with stuff like canned tuna/sardines, or beans/pulses etc. In fact, the canning process is a great preservative. It's the heat that they are cooked with that is the preservative - nothing else is added. And for things like pulses, it's a fabulous way of making sure that they are cooked properly.

Some canned foods may not be so great - baked beans, for example - not because of the basic ingredient, but because they tend to have lots of sugar/salt in the sauce that goes with them. But in general, there's a lot to recommend canned foods - especially if you're on a budget.

Tesco sells bags of apples or pears for less than a pound: cheap and easy 'snack' food, so you don't even have to worry about time to prepare. You can probably get it even cheaper at your local fruit and veg shop. If you stick with seasonal food and shop in the right place, it shouldn't be too expensive.

I think it's rather odd to throw your own health away for the sake of giving your children premium foods. If they see you eat healthily as well, they will start to think of it as normal, whereas now, it's clearly one rule for mummy and another for them. Also, it's not going to be great for them if their mother suffers all variety of ill health, so start looking after yourself the way you look after them.

BIWIWhoMustBeObeyed - Thank you for taking the time to comment it is appreciated!!

Canned food is not healthy but can be eaten in moderation, fresh or frozen is a better option. Canned food contains A LOT of salt and heavily treated. That is why it has an extensive shelf life (years in some cases) and not degrade?

Thinking about what my children eat is important. When I was growing up, we never saw many canned foods on our shelves, and even before the children, I never warmed to canned foods, not to mention the taste, which is my preference.

Canned Tuna and Sardines are fine (I have been known the buy the odd can), however, if they are in brine (salt water) not a good choice to have regularly. Moreover, canned tomatoes do contain hidden salt. I usually buy fresh fish if I can, which we eat twice a week. We have a good mongers were we live and I look out for special deals on any fresh fish at Tesco.

Thank you again for your comment!

Ciske - Thank you for your comment!!!

We do buy the bags of pears, apples, clementines, bananas from Tesco and other fruits on special. However, it will usaully end up costing around £10.

Having childen and living on a budget, means that sacrifices have to be made. They see mummy eating, but not necessarily aware the mummy does not have what they have. Unless you have lived it, it is hard to explain. And I think only one or two on this thread fully understand what it means.

This step for me is getting grips with what I can do for myself under the circumstances, and starting is the first step.

Thank again!!

On the exercise side - would you consider the 30 day shred. C6 quid from amazon, maybe less on eBay. 20 minute work out which will immensely improve your fitness.

I buy tesco value chopped tomatoes it has no added salt, so not sure about comments comparing to crisp. Frozen broccoli and cauliflower is £1 bag for around a kilo so each bag would do 5 meals, so I think this is fairly cheap.

re: the bread, actually I'd rather eat genetically modified and radiated veg than bread made from genetically modified wheat and with loads of added chemicals.

There is a book called :

'Run, fat bitch, run.'

I know some women I work with found it helpful, it contained two relevant pieces of advice:

1. Get your running gear and do it yourself.
2. Just go out and start, walk for 10-15 mins, jog for 15 mins and then turn around and do the same coming home.

Cheap, cheerful and easy advice

No, MTTC - they do not contain salt. And there is no such thing as 'hidden salt'. If salt is there as an ingredient then it has to be listed on the ingredients - by law.

And what on earth do you mean by 'heavily treated'? Canned food is typically cooked by sealing the food into an air-tight can and then boiling it. Hardly 'heavily treated'.

I am wondering where you are getting your information from?

I can understand that you might not like the flavour/texture of canned products - fair enough. Canned potatoes are an abomination! But it's silly to say that they are unhealthy.

foreverondiet - Thank you for your comment.

Know about the frozen vege which I do buy at times. Especially if money is very tight. One bag per meal, which is great and the children love the mixed vegetable bag.

As mentioned before I do alot of cooking so tend to make my own bread. I do buy wholewheat bread, at times, as well as anything on special offer, that is different for a little more variety for the children.

However, what you choose to eat (radiated or not) is up to you. I would rather buy quality food, for a better life for my children, then poor food to shorten it.

However, this thread is about, my first steps in making a difference to my life, and your suggestion of the vegetables is great.

Many thanks!!

BIWIWhoMustBeObeyed - Thank you again for taking the time to comment!!

This is a debate I have been having for years, and though there are a lot of people as yourself who believe that canned is good, it is indeed not, and really should be eaten in moderation. As I mentioned before canned is food conveniently packaged food created for a sustained shelf life (food is biodegradable), and many foods do not retain if at all any of their nutritional value after canning.

But this is not the reason for the thread, is trying to get a start of doing something to change, and whether I like canned or what it contains is not the question.

Thanks again!!!

Mollydoggerson - Thank you for your suggestion - I will have a look on Amazon!!

We do buy the bags of pears, apples, clementines, bananas from Tesco and other fruits on special. However, it will usaully end up costing around £10.

I'll say it again. ALDI. If you have one locally pay a visit, you could get all of the above for a lot less. Even if you are living on a very tight budget (believe me - I have been there and some weeks, still am) you can still eat healthily.

Catonkey - Thanks we have a local Aldi which I will visit on Monday, DD has finished all the fruit and wants more melons and bananas!!!!!!

Thank you again!!

I don't necessarily believe that canned is always good - I just don't believe it's necessarily bad. And I certainly don't believe your assertion that it contains hidden salt.

And please stop thanking us all for commenting!

BIWIWhoMustBeObeyed - Not sure why I should not say thank you to those who have taken time to comment. Maybe as this is the first time I am doing this, I believe that it was courtesy, and I am overwhelmed by the response.

But it I suppose it takes someone like you to show me the errors of my ways in such a nice way.

Apologies and thank you for taking the time to comment on that!!

this week's Super 6

I get excited to see what's on offer each week but even when not on offer the prices are pretty good, I bought some lovely mangoes the other day for 60p each. There's loads of Aldi appreciation threads knocking about, lots of people recommend the cheese, deli meats and yoghurts etc along with fruit and veg. Oh and their brioche is amazing.

Whilst I appreciate DD wants melon and bananas, sometimes the choice element needs to be removed i.e. This is what I've bought so this is what's available to you. Good luck with it all, I appreciate the food shopping is only one part of this.

Thank you Catonkey,

I believe you understand that shopping is only a small part of it (and I really don't want to go into too much detail) and yes there are wider issues, especially regarding the children.

However, some of the suggestions and ideas on this thread will really help!!