**Guidance for a mother who has gained more than 70lbs in four years**

[MTTC]

Before the children, weight was 120lbs, now four years later, 195lbs. This is primarily due to the less active lifestyle (staying at home after losing job) and dramatic change in diet (can only eat what I can afford due to extraordinary drop in income).

I know all there is to know about a healthy balanced diet. The children get a very well balanced diet; do not eat junk food (never an advocate of fast food and cannot afford it more importantly), and they eat vegetables everyday (no exceptions) and fresh fruit when it is bought. No carbonated drinks; chocolate and crisps in moderation. There is a cooked meal everyday (yes, everyday) for the children; their meals planned daily, covering the recommended food groups, but as a parent, if there is not enough food to go around, I eat what I can, so at times (more than not) having a balanced diet does not apply to me; usually end up eating bread. Due to my dedication to the chidlren they are bright, happy and are not aware (and should definitely not be) of the pressures in the household due to the financial restraints.

In order to attempt a change personal lifestyle, more so, in fitness, I asked a ?friend? to join me in attempting to lose weight by jogging (which is what we used to do with her many years ago). At first, she said yes, but made excuses four times in succession (with low self- esteem, and feeling very self-conscious I needed the moral support of someone with me). Then she stated that, ?I had not gained that much weight? and did not need to do anything as I ?carried it well?. I told her a 75lb weight gain in four years was significant. We ended up arguing, and she said there are more important things going on in the world then worrying about weight!

I understand there are far more important issues going on in the world (the daily news does not let you forget), but I would like to do something for myself - for once. I can feel the pain in the lower back, and the rolls of fat under the skin at my sides. My knees are painful at times, especially going up and down stairs, and sometimes I get out of breath, and also noticed a small pain in the centre of my chest during the night when lay down.

I believe I need to do something before it gets to a point where I will not be able to it without medical assistance.

So, how do I do it? how do I make the first step in changing the way I look, when there is limited time, money, and lack of confidence?

Any honest advice will be appreciated, as I just need that extra push from those who (are not my 'friend') may understand that it is not the when it is the how - thank you.

Catonkey - Excellent link!!!!!!

MTTC - it's a bit irritating, to be very honest and blunt with you. You don't need to thank us - that's what a forum is for - for people to respond to your post.

It also comes across as a bit passive aggressive, which I'm sure you don't mean - when you thank people whose posts you evidently disagree with!

Anyway, I'm glad you've had such a lot of advice, and I hope that this helps you - along with joining the Bootcamp

MTTC - You are doing a great job in feeding yourself and your dcs. Reading all this has inspired me to head to Aldi - mind you, I'm a Lidls fan already.

Aside from the food - are you able to get out and walk by yourself? See if there is a family or a old lady who needs their dog walking daily - post an ad in the local Post Office. A lot of Mums have had to go out to work around here, leaving pooches rather lonely and under walked.

Round here, dog walkers charge about £10 an hour. Then, you'd get your daily exercise AND some more money to spend on fruit, veg or just yourself!

I agree about walking for exercise. You'll feel less self-conscious about it than jogging, and it's probably better to start with especially if you're quite overweight and your knees are feeling the strain. If you can commit to say a 30-40 minutes brisk walk every weekday, that should be fairly easy to fit into your daily routine, and you can build up to more intensive exercise as you lose weight and get fitter. Exercising and getting outside can really help lift your mood and relieve stress as well.

Canned and frozen veg is fine IMO and often cheaper than fresh, plus there tends to be less waste. I agree you have to watch the salt levels of some canned foods (soups can be particularly bad) but tomatoes etc are usually fine. I wouldn't worry about food that has been irradiated, there is no risk to your health from this. Same for organic food, there's an argument to be had about whether or not it's the more responsible choice environmentally (or for animal welfare), but from the nutritional point of view it's basically the same food either way so if money is short it wouldn't be a priority for me.

I find it helps to choose the wholegrain versions of foods like bread, pasta, rice etc, as they fill you up better. Also watch your portion size of these types of foods (e.g. weigh your rice and pasta before cooking, about 50g rice and 75g pasta for a normal adult portion) as it's easy to make and eat far more than you really need. If you really are just eating bread a lot of the time, you must be eating a lot of bread to gain so much weight (sorry to be blunt, but that's how it seems to me!). If you cut back on that, i.e. to a slice or two a day, would you be able to afford a slightly more balanced diet for yourself?

BIWIWhoMustBeObeyed - So it is irritating for you and makes me seen passive-aggressive???

How about it is because I genuinely do appreciate EVERYONES feedback - And these posts do little but give me more to think about.

I am not unhappy about ANY of the post just because we have different opinions, why should I disregard their feedback, whether I agree or not??

This is my thread and if I want to thank ten, hundred, thousand people, should that not be my choice???

Interesting!!

Ok, ok, ok!

Thank you blue2!

Yes, I could make it an enterprising venture!!

Thanks Ephiny!

I agree with wholegrain, which is what I use: cous-cous, bread, flour, and sometimes pasta (the children are a little dubious with this one).

And yes, I have eaten a lot of carbohydrates in the past - cannot deny it. Lots of bread no hiding (no worries about being blunt).

And you mentioned portions size - well I must admit, for me (not the children) I can go over the top and 'fatlazymummy' did mention smaller plates!!

Great suggestion, which I know I can do - especially if hunting for bargain!!

If you just give up bread and move to mostly protein and veg with a bit of brown carb like brown rice and just eat less generally that will lose the weight. I wouldn't worry too much about exercise. Try not snacking too much too.

Mttc, also try and drink at least 2 litres of water/sugar free squash, it does help to keep you feeling full and helps the weight loss. Although I could probably afford a gym membership I much prefer to save my pennies and I go running. Where I live we have a huge park and I see women of all shapes and sizes walking/running.

Your own health is just as important as your children's, if you keep gaining weight then you put yourself at risk of many illnesses, which i am sure you know. Why not Try bulking out your children's meals to make enough for you? Casserole steak is pretty inexpensive and makes great stews etc. You need to try and put yourself in as high a regard as your children!

Xenia - yes you are correct, I do snack and terribly in between. That is something I do need to watch, and I know it could be one of the reasons, as it is usually large amount of bread with margerine that I snack on. And after reading all the posts on this thread, my diet definitely has more potential at becoming better and healthier.

Thanks again!

if you don't have tendencies towards high BP, I wouldn't get too hung up on salt content for yourself. Depending on where you live, you may be able to access discounted brand foods at shops like Home Bargain/Farm Food/B & M bargains. I also recommend Aldi. If you go after lunch they often reduce the price of food with only a day or so shelf-life.

MTTC - admire that you seem to be setting your mind to change. Good luck with it, have a feeling you will tackle this.

If you have good protein rich meal, you won't need to snack. Better to have a tin of tuna for lunch than 4 slices of bread with margarine - which in my opinion is worse than eating anything out of a tin.

Flossiechops - I usually drink at least 3 pint glasses of water a day (don't really drink tea, coffee) along with milk, so pretty good on the water aspect.

I will try and build up to jogging, but will initially start with a DVD, to give me a launch pad, along with walking as many have suggested.

I do bulk out the food, but then I do give them the lion share (I am sure most mother's do) of the meat if we are doing cass, stews, bakes...etc. And yes, I know my health is important, without a doubt, but it can be hard not to put the children first. But after today I will try!!

Many thanks Flossiechops!

Thanks Blackswan! - It is my intention today to take stock of all the comments and take a long look at myself. I am thoroughly chuffed at the responses. And have learned that I should look for what I can do - as opposed to trying to find reasons why I can't.

Hi ohforfoxsake - Absolutely agree with you about the protein vs the carbohydrate rich snack. Will be looking into foods high in protein (not a fan of canned tuna) as I know there are many great sources as mentioned pulses, nuts and poultry.

yes, ditch all bread and eat lots of tinned sardines or whatever you can afford.

Another tip which costs nothing is only drnik water no alcohol or soft drinks or fruit juice, just and only water and no milk either. That would save money.

Hi Xenia - Will definitely ditch the bread, as it is my biggest downfall.

I do not drink, or smoke or even eat chocolate (maybe a bar a week if that), or drink carbonated drinks. Only drink fruit juice occasionally. Therefore, my real vice, if you can call it that is skimmed milk of which I drink about a glass or two a day. And a source of protein it would be good for me to keep that as a postive step forward!

xenia I don't know why you keep saying to give up eating bread all together. It is perfectly possible to lose weight while still eating bread. It is just another food source, not an evil poisonous substance.

ahh, but its SO much easier to lose weight without it fatlazymummy!

Xenia, fatlazymummy and ohforfoxsake

For me, and my overzealous need to eat more than my weight in bread. It will be wise for me to abstain for a while. There are other sources of carbohydrate, which I will explore, which will be better for me in the long run (yes I am thinking long term as opposed to quick fix)

Therefore, for me, Xenia has made a valid point in my case and circumstance. However, I will introduce it again later as at the moment I really do not trust myself at one slice of bread especially in the morning (my danger time) when I could eat numerous slices of toast without really registering what I am doing.

However, eating sensibly and eating a balanced diet should not eliminate any food group - in general.

"However, what you choose to eat (radiated or not) is up to you. I would rather buy quality food, for a better life for my children, then poor food to shorten it."

still don't get what you mean. what food is radiated? does anyone else know?

Google has indicated:
www.food.gov.uk/safereating/irradfoodqa/
Which foods are currently irradiated in the UK?
There is only one food irradiation facility in the UK, and it is licensed to irradiate a range of dried aromatic herbs, spices and vegetable seasonings.

And being 60lbs overweight is likely to shorten your life more than whatever this radiated food you are talking of.

1. Keep a food diary - it is easy to cook for children, pick at scraps yourself and then think you are saving money because you 'missed lunch', but infact, it may be cheaper to have a sit down meal and atleast bulk out what they are eating with veg for yourself.

2. Plan your food - I think it is easier to abstain from picking at bread if you are looking forward to a satisfying meal.

3. Be realistic about how long it will take for you to loose weight. Better to loose weight over a year or even 2 years and keep it off than to yo-yo diet, be occassionally thinner, mainly fat and malnourished. Also, if you are looking after chilldren you need energy and good humour which you can't achieve by living on starvation rations.

Hi foreverondiet - we have a differing of opinion, in the fact that a lot of our food does originate from the UK. However, this is not a point I wish to raise on this thread, but another maybe.

Moreover, in order to increase my life expectancy, I will be making some changes, and those 75lbs (not 60lbs) will be my goal to remove.

Thanks again for your comment, regardless of your views; I do appreciate your time to respond!