AIBU to ask people who maintain a healthy weight how they do it?

[smoggii]

I know that to lose weight you should eat less and move more but I would love to know what the balance is for healthy (or just slightly overweight) maintenance.

I think I am being unreasonable because i know this should be common sense but after years of dieting (losing a significant amount of weight - still a bit overweight but not supermorbidly obese as i once was) i am struggling to maintain a weight, i'm either dieting or gaining weight and i'm starting to feel a bit stupid that I can't just maintain it.

I weighed a stone less around 8 years ago. So my BMI was 18.2. No way did I look underweight though. I still had a bit of a belly and love handles - I've always been a bit fleshy around my middle with slim legs and arms. I think it really depends on your build, as to what your perfect BMI is. I have a very small build so any weight I put on is very obvious. I look fat when my BMI is higher than about 22, even tough theoretically it should be fine till 25.

Yes the BMI is only really useful as a rough guide, there's no point placing too much importance on the exact number, e.g. 18.4 is underweight and dangerously unhealthy but 18.5 would be fine...it's not that precise!

I agree it depends on your build and shape where in the 'healthy' range suits you best. I also look a bit on the chubby side at over 22, at 25 I would not be in good shape at all. But then I have a slight build and am not particularly muscular/athletic, it might be very different for someone else.

Hi

I think most people would be pleased in a "where do you get your hair cut?" way if you asked them how they maintain weight loss.

I dont think you can ask someone who is naturally thin as they probably dont know..as it is their natural shape. I assume this Q should be put to someone who has lost loads and kept it off..and sh*t..that IS hard!!

Much comes down to genetics and body shape, too. I read choc's post with interest. I am five nine and my BMI is at 27. Not great, but I am always being refered to as "slim". I am a 12 top and 14 bottom with an althletic build. I actually weigh about 12.5 stones now. I got down to 11 stone with a BMI of about 22 and I looked ILL with a scrawny face and neck. My size 12 clothes were falling off me.

I think a lot comes down to re educating your palete away from sugar/fats and not getting bored. Boredom is when my hand goes to the pringles box. Making meals from scratch. Also, exercise. Sorry- very boring..there are a few things to avoid- most people think that fruit juice= good. Yes of course it is and full of vitamins but I was horrified to find my "green machine super juice" had 275 calories in it and 54% of the day's sugar.

Honestly..if you want to lose a few pounds the steak (or tin of tuna in water or boiled egg or ham or any other lean protein..) and salad diet works wonders. Have as much as you like. A little zero fat dressing with it. It's a bit Atkins and a bit Dukan but works.

PS. a young sexy lover works, but for me this was a disaster..although I was nice and thin

I think 'naturally thin' people probably do know...as has been shown on this thread.

They tend to just eat when hungry, stop when full and exercise quite a bit.

Therefore I think 'naturally thin' is a bit of an oxymoron just like 'naturally fat' would be.

It really is down to what goes into the body, how much and whether it's burnt off afterwards.

I'm 5'4", and ranged from 11st to just over 13.5st in the past 12 years or so.

When I married, I fitted a size 14 wedding dress. After marriage, I wasn't exercising as much (bus rather than bicycle to work etc) and eating more (enjoying cooking for 2). Within about 3 years, I was up to a size 18 (pushing 20) and needed to lose lots. I lost a fair bit (not as much as my goal, but mainly size 16 and a fair few 14s in my closet). I have since gone up and down a bit as life changes (including 1 DC). So I have been overweight for my height since I was a late teen, and hit the clinical definition of obese a couple of times (but usually relatively healthy and fit even when heavy).

In the last year I have added a lot again (reached 13st, now back to 12st10) as DH has been travelling a lot, DC is being assessed for poss SN, work has been super-stressful, and I was drinking more than I had been (not getting lorried, but a glass of wine with/after dinner most nights rather than just weekends) and relying more on convenience foods (including sambos for lunch rather than salad, and pastries for brekkie at my desk rather than fruit or muesli), and not getting to the gym (for a leisurely pootle in the pool - nothing madly strenuous or sweaty :) ).

I am back to making an effort again though in the past month. I have made my salad (bowl with 2 carrots, half a pepper, handful cherry toms, few olives, and some lettuce, occasionally some avocado, hummus or cooked meat, no dressing cos I'm odd like that) fairly regularly now for the past 3 weeks again. I have managed to get to the pool once a week and I am aiming to increase that to at least 2/week this week (and try to do more lengths when I am there). And cutting down on the wine (empty calories) and the junky foods.

It's tricky, but I am trying to get life back into balance again in general, and that tends to help with controlling my weight. I know I eat bad stuff when I am depressed, stressed and generally feel bleh. I am trying to be better about not eating mindlessly, and making sure that I have options for (relatively) healthy snacks available when I need them (like flapjacks in the car and bowl of fruit on office window for when I have manic days and have to skip lunch, and remembering to make a salad so that I can eat as I work if need be, rather than grabbing a pastry cos that;s all the canteen has left or crisps from the machine cos canteen is closed). And being more careful about planning a weekly menu and keeping an eye on the diary while doing that (so I can take a batch of spag bol or curry from the freezer for manic days to reheat and just boil rice/pasta, or even have somewhat convenience foods for really manic days like oven chips and sausages/chicken kievs for oven rather than full blown fat-fest takeaway, and the ingredients in for proper healthy meals from scratch the days I have time).

And I am also trying to remember that it took longer than a week to hit the hips, so it will take longer to come off too.

God there is some utter bollocks about anorexia here!

Firstly, using the NHS BMI calculator - which is HERE the HEALTHY range for BMI is between 18.5 - 25.

Secondly, BMI is only a rough calculation and it has certain weak points. This is particularly true if you are especially short or especially tall as BMI only really works properly for people of average height. At either end of the scale, the range can vary slightly. Its not 100% set in stone as being 18.5 - 25.

Thirdly, BMI is only a possible indicator of anorexia. The clinical guide level is set at 17.5, but a diagnosis of anorexia isn't based on your BMI alone. There are lots of other health reasons why your BMI might go below 17.5 which don't make you anorexic. A diagnosis is based on a range of other factors about eating habits and beliefs.

Anorexia is about excessive weight loss, irrational fear of gaining weight and a distorted body self-perception. Not exclusively your BMI.

It is entirely possible to have virtually all the symptoms and behaviours of anorexia and have a normal BMI (or even be overweight). Its just classed as EDNOS (Eating disorder not otherwise specified).

So getting hung up on people who fall in the 18.5 - 20 range on this thread is a bit ignorant and a bit misleading. I find it utterly frustrating and annoying when people take a pop at people who fall into this category by saying they have an eating disorder. It just shows a complete lack of understanding of what an eating disorder actually is and a lack of understanding of BMI and its limitations.

I agree hmmm

If my BMI were 17.5 I think I would be dead.

To be classed as "obese" when you are a size 12 and fit as a flea with normal blood pressure (ie. me) is mad.

Oh, I also think that by using GOOD ingredients, you are less likely to eat loads so the cost balances out. I know not everyone can do that, but I would prefer to have one Leonidas orangette (dark choc) or a square of 70% choc than a whole bar of dairy milk, say. And if I use strong flavoured cheese (like fully mature cheddar), I use a lot less (and hence a lot less fat) in cheese sauces than regular cheddar or slimline cheddar (ugh - food of the devil).

Something I was doing anyway, but increased after DD was born, is to include a lot of veggies in dinners. Stirfries or mac'n'cheese etc would have lots of different types anyway in large chunks, but spag bol and shepherd's pie, for instance, can have 2/3 carrots, half a courgette, a pepper, bunch of brocolli stalks and maybe a parsnip all finely chopped in food processor and added to meat sauce both to stretch the mince to a second dinner and make it healthy ( and also hiding veggies so DD will eat them).

Another thing I've been doing recently is cutting the large stack of biscuits with a cup of tea before bedtime, to 1 biscuit or a plain bun (that was mostly to do with eating alone after DD in bed and DH being away).

Biddypop We sound very alike. I am 5ft4in and weighed 13stone 2 until I joined Weight Watchers last October. Now down to 11stone 5lbs.
Was 10stone when I got married in 1996 but have had twins since then.I have been on several diets and put the weight back on quite a few times over my lifetime.Reckon I keep dieting off the same two stone over and over again!
Am into fruit salad/ fresh pineapple atm. WI at WW tonight so fingers crossed for a good loss this week.

i've been more or less the same weight my entire adult life, but can't say i do anything special to maintain it. How much i eat does vary but i don't conciously think i ate a lot yesterday i must eat less today.

i do live a fairly active life but the actual amount of exercise i do also varies massively.

i'm not super skinny, my bmi is just over 25, but this seems to be my natural weight

I think 'naturally' slim people (i.e. not the ones who maintain weight through loads of exercise and diet) just don't focus on food so much.

I love food, but have no inclination to spend my evening on the sofa with a big packet of crisps or a large bar of chocolate. I don't think about food all the time and eat when hungry.

Eat reasonable sized portions, don't eat/drink crap and exercise. Walk everywhere. But it does help having skinny genes and growing up in a household where healthy eating and exercise was encouraged from an early age.

That's exactly it I think. I've always been very slim. Part of that is luck, and part of it is just not eating as much as other people and not having a sweet tooth. My DP on the other hand, is getting "stockier" as the years go by because he has no self control at all when it comes to food - he exercises like a maniac to keep himself fit and in shape.

Oh God. Just coming at this from the top, I'm that size 8 person who eats shite

I don't know if I can offer anything to the thread, because I generally live on junk food and don't do regular mealtimes.

I'm also rubbish at doing this for my children so they have quite a random diet, but it muddles them through.

If you're after a basis for not putting on weight, well, I tend to stay around the same (about 8.5-9st) and am 5ft7ish, and I just eat when I'm hungry and don't really bother when I'm not. And I eat what I fancy, though sometimes I fancy something healthy and can't be bothered to make it so I have something quick instead. That's not very good.

I think mainly it's about ditching what other people expect you to eat, and when, and all that sort of thing and just pleasing yourself - listening to your body and having what it's asking you for, as and when it needs it.

Don't be afraid to leave something if you're full up,

start with a small portion, you can always have another and then it's not wasted if you don't want much.

Also I find protein and salads etc doesn't make me put on weight as much as solid carbs like bread, pasta, cake etc. I eat an awful lot of chocolate and that doesn't make me put on weight.

Le Queen - I'm a 14 in trousers and have a BMI of 22, well within the normal range. I'm fairly tall though. Clothing size depends on a lot of factors.

Yes clothing size depends a lot on height (and shape and build to some extent, and where you shop of course!) - but the average British woman is only 5'4" so would have to be quite large to fit most high-street size 16s...

I'm 36, 5'4 and 9st 3. I lost 2.5 stone with WW after DS was born 3 years ago and have so far kept it all off.

I was brought up by a mother who is severely obese and has been for as long as I can remember. She has also constantly been dieting and regularly loses and regains the same 3-4 stone. This has helped in some ways as I can see very clearly that it is much easier to maintain weight than lose weight and that you can't do an extreme diet (e.g. slimfast/ cabbage soup) for more than a week so it really does need to be a life style change and you have to be able to do it.

I vary by a few pounds over a month but weigh myself at least once a week and cut back a bit if need be. I have cereal or coffee for breakfast but sit at the table with the children, lunch is salad with a bread roll or protein and with fruit for pudding. I usually have a mid-afternoon snack - banana or popcorn depending how tired I feel. I eat tea with the children at 6 but will usually sit with DH and have a cup of tea and some fruit when he gets home at 9. I only drink alcohol at weekends - that was always my biggest bugbear!

Dress size comparison site:
sizes.darkgreener.com/

I love this toy

To be a size 16 your waist size would need to be:
30.5 inches at Banana Republic
32 inches at Zara
33inches at Asos, Dorothy Perkins, Karen Millen, LK Bennett, Next, Oasis, Warehouse, Whistles, Top Shop & M&S
33.5 at French Connection
34 inches at Monsoon
34.5 at New Look
35 inches at Jaeger

And all the hip and bust measurements are different for each store too.

My point is that size means absolutely NOTHING when you have a clear range of 4 and a half inches for a size 16 waist!!!

I really, really wish that women would stop using it as a way of working out how big they are, comparing with other people, or whether they are overweight.

I agree with a lot of what Flightty said -- I would say try to eat quality, but otherwise, it's good to listen to your body & eat small amounts at a time. I guess that does mean snacking, but it works well for many of us.

I have been thinking about factors that cause people who have been trim long-term to become fat. Stress, changes in metabolism, changes in activity levels. Plenty of that be beyond one's control. But plenty you can do about those things, too. Sometimes I think some people just let it happen. They stop caring, perhaps? It's harder to shift weight off as you get older, so getting overweight after 35 is especially risky, I suspect.

I am between 10.5 and 11st and am 5'7'' tall - not massively skinny but certainly slim (albeit with residual large breasts!). I have crept up to over 12st in the past - I look OK but pudgy. Anything over 12.5 (post baby) is just hideous.

Through my journey up and down the scales, I have finally concluded that there is no such thing as naturally slim really, you just eat less food. Some people want less food than others, so don't feel they are deying themselves, but others (like me!) would happily eat masses of something they love and we have a choice between having the food and being slim - I really do think it is as simple as that for a lot of people.

I have 2 DDs - DD1 is her mother's daughter - loves her food and enough is never enough - I watch her really carefully and took her off school lunches when I realised she was basically eating cake & custard every single day . DD2 is 18 mths younger and I have noticed that she just eats really differently from the rest of us - MUCH more slowly and she often leaves half of (eg ) a biscuit or a potato if she is full. Neither of them is overweight but while I have (secretly) watched DD1 like a hawk since she was quite small, I have never spent a second worrying about DD2's food consumption. I think DD2 will grow up to be one of life's 'naturally slim' people, whereas I think DD1 will have to make the same choice that I have.

hmm I have tried that too. Very interesting...

If you think about the USP of those shops you will understand why Jaeger are happy to flatter and Banana republic don't want "fat chicks" wearing their clothes. Anyone had a slightly plump 14 YO girl try to shop in Abercrombie or Superdry?