AIBU to ask people who maintain a healthy weight how they do it?

[smoggii]

I know that to lose weight you should eat less and move more but I would love to know what the balance is for healthy (or just slightly overweight) maintenance.

I think I am being unreasonable because i know this should be common sense but after years of dieting (losing a significant amount of weight - still a bit overweight but not supermorbidly obese as i once was) i am struggling to maintain a weight, i'm either dieting or gaining weight and i'm starting to feel a bit stupid that I can't just maintain it.

I am 5'8", 9.5 stone.

I eat too much crap (have around 1 takeaway per week, often have something like mixed grill and chips for lunch at work), but I don't snack much. While I do eat unhealthy food, I also eat lots of healthy stuff too, I have plenty of veg and have orange juice every day. I mainly cook from scratch. I try to drink plenty of fluids. However, I drink too much alcohol at the weekend.

The main reason I think I stay slim (as you can see - it's probably not my diet), is that I am a fairly active person, I don't drive yet and so walk most places unless DH gives me a lift. I also carry my 3yo 2.5 stone DS if he gets tired on a long walk, I might have a heavy shopping bag too.

Also in terms of the comments about a healthy weight.

My cousin is an OT and works (within the NHS) with anorexics. A BMI under 18.5 is considered anorexic, and 18.5 to 20 is borderline underweight (unless perhaps you have a really small frame).

My BMI is 20.5 and I am slim and toned. I would look unhealthy if my BMI was under 20.

I find stress works wonders. As does working 18 hour days. Thin folk aren't always thin because they're healthy. Speaking as a size 10 workaholic who doesn't sleep, eats trash and panics her way through thousands of calories every day!

Oh, yeah. I agree totally with Jajas and Janoschi. The most weight I ever lost in a short time was because some cad broke my heart in the most diabolical manner and I ended up moving thousands of miles away, having lost the life I had planned. Lost two dress sizes and became dangerously underweight.

I cannot recommend this. It would have been better to gain two and stayed happy.

Snacks are evil
If its in the house you will eat purely for the sake of it, especially if you are feeling lazy. Even if you aren't hungry.
And you will still eat it in addition to normal meals.
So don't buy crap and snacks in large amounts. Keep it to minimum. But equally don't deprive yourself completely or you'll just crave it too and then end up overdoing it another time.

You eat differently socially than you do in your own home.
This applies to lunches at work as well as eating out.
Its worth considering whether you should eat out every day at work. Bringing your own lunch at least a couple of times a week is cheaper anyway.

You will almost always eat more with friends and its difficult not to compare what you are eating with other people. Be confident enough not to and to eat how much you want. There is no shame or guilt in leaving some. It does not mean you haven't enjoyed it.

If you are a 5' 2" woman, don't try and eat the same as your 6'2" DH who goes to the gym OR your 5'10" female best friend. Your portion sizes should be vastly different.

Generally, just don't compare yourself to others. Compare yourself to you and whats right and comfortable for you. Its not a competition.

"pro-eating-disordered"?

steady on!

someone with a "slightly underweight" BMI is not necessarily eating-disordered. in much the same way someone with a "slightly overweight" BMI is not necessarily eating-disordered. BMI is more of a screening tool than it is a diagnostic one...

the vast majority of tips on this thread are perfectly reasonable and i daresay a nutritionist would hold them up as examples of common sense

HmmThinking, but that just isn't true for everyone. Snacks are, well - snacks, and the point of them is that they are there for when you might need them. When you are a bit hungry but not hungry enough to eat a meal, or if short of time. Not to eat because they are there.

I'm partial to a Walnut Whip. DH bought a pack of three ten days ago and two are still there. There is also most of a large Galaxy bar in the fridge too. I like chocolate but a couple of squares is enough.

Poor DD though. She is eleven and could quite easily polish off the lot in one sitting. It must be hard for her opening the fridge and seeing it there every day. She gets chocolate a few times a week but eats it immediately and I wonder if I am setting an example of restraint or torturing her sometimes!

i used to yo yo diet and was always obsessed with my weight until i had a knee op. All the weight fell off to a really nice size 12 (i'm 5ft 10). After that i never dieted again. but i do eat healthily/well (large portions but lots of veg), i don't have a sweet tooth. I allow myself what i want as a treat but acknowledge a treat does not mean everyday! I limit cheese (my downfall). Have lots of soup.

My average day is sultana bran & semi skimmed milk (big bowl) and a banana. fruit/nuts snack. Soup and a sandwich. A small piece of cheese and a couple of crackers. Lean meat/fish. Brown pasta/rice/cous cous or potato & veg. A yoghurt. (dinner is often a healthy fish pie or something)

I also walk (fast) everywhere (and for an hour at lunch break) and swim a couple of times a week.

"A BMI under 18.5 is considered anorexic"

No it isn't. Very low weight is one of the diagnostic criteria for anorexia (I've heard 'under 17.5 used at the definition of low weight), but there are all kinds of reasons someone might be very slim, it doesn't mean they have an eating disorder. 'Anorexic' is not a synonym for thin.

A BMI of 18.5-20 is perfectly healthy. It may look 'thin' given our distorted view of such things these days, and the fact that most people are overweight now.

here's how i do it:

eat when i'm hungry, stop when i'm full (as i'm hungry a lot i have about 6 meals/snacks a day)

stay active - running, walking instead of taking the car (when possible).

there are no limits as to what i eat and drink (wine, crisps and chocolate most days) but i try and eat my 5 a day (usually more) just to balance the whole thing out and usually only drink water (except coffees and copious amounts of wine ).

i've also bf for 6 years.

it's probably in a big part down to metablolism, but i only gained half a stone since being a teenager.

I'd say whether a slightly low BM is anorexic or not depends on your build and how you are meant to look. I am of fairly stocky build with wide hips and a large bosom: I would be seriously ill if my BM went this low.

My SIL (of a different ethnicity and very different build) is clearly meant to be very slim for her height: I wouldn't be at all surprised if her BMI is this low.

Dd's has just dropped to about 20 after several weeks of reaction to medication and we are concerned about her health as she is clearly not eating enough to maintain energy levels (she is not, however, anorexic). It is easy enough to see that her weight loss is not a healthy one as she looks peaky and the weight has come off in all the wrong places (arms and shoulders looking very thin and her face looks drawn).

SIL otoh just looks "right" iyswim.

5ft 7 and 8 stone 6

I read that and also thought it sounded on the low side, Easy for me to compare since I'm 5'7 & 3/4, 10 stone, and folk tell me they think I'm "skinny". Not necessarily unhealthily thin, but definitely near the very bottom end of what is likely to be a healthy weight for the height.

The thing is it sounds like Chickydoo works hard to maintain that weight, she probably has ample room to allow a few pounds to creep in and not have to work so hard to be at a "healthy weight". But obviously that may not be what she feels is an attractive size for her.

I think it depends on your frame I am 5 foot 3 and 9 stone 5 right now and look huge as I am due my baby this week. I definitely couldnt be this size normally as I would look ridiculous.

Thats why bmi is silly I think surely the best indicator is your fitness levels and whether you hav lots of obvious excess fat on you.

Anorexia nervosa is an eating disorder not a measure of how thin someone is. No psychiatrist will diagnose someone as anorexic purely on a slightly low BMI.
People with very low BMIs usually do have either an eating disorder or a physical illness but between 17.5 and 20 is underweight and no more a sign of illness or disordered eating than being overweight is. Slightly underweight people tend to live longer.

I only eat one or two meals a day- that is plenty to sustain me though.

I also eat small portions of healthy food. Im mostly veggie (unless ive been recently ill).

Eat lots of pasta, rice, fish and of course veggies. Dont snack!

Until I was 42 I ate whatever I wanted and never thought about it.

I liked thick butter on my bread. Chocolate, crisps. I love fatty food, but not junk food, which makes me feel ill. I like cheese, salami, fatty meats.

And I was 10 stone 5lbs at 5 ft 6, which is normal weight.

Then my thyroid went wonky, I started taking antidepressents, and put on three stone.

Back down to a normal weight now (just). It's taken me a year of not being greedy and logging what I'm eating. Slightly concerned about maintaining weight loss in the longer term. Have no intention of every getting lardy again.

I've found this thread VERY interesting and useful, so thank you for posting!

You can't go back and change posts on this forum; otherwise I'd like to change my stupidly worded sentence

"I'd say whether a slightly low BM is anorexic or not depends on your build and how you are meant to look."

to

"I'd say whether a slightly low BM is unhealthy and a possible indicator of anorexia or not depends on your build and how you are meant to look."

As 2rebecca rightly says, anorexia is not an eating disorder, not a body measurement.

Dd is unhealthily thin, she has not got anorexia. As far as we can tell.

Though a doctor who didn't know her might be well advised to consider anorexia as a possible reason for her state.

I'm ok weight, a size 10 and completely flat chested, so appear thinner.

All my female colleagues are much bigger than me and constantly comment on it. I've noticed that they go to bed much later than me and don't drink much water- they also eat at least twice as me in the working day, so that's a fair few calories accounted for.

If I'm hungry, I'll drink a glass of water first- not to fill me up but because I misread the signals- what at first feels like 'I'm hungry' is often 'I'm bored' or 'thirsty'.

littlewhitemice although I don't avoid carbs, I do find if I have a carb heavy meal I fell sluggish and then hungry again quite soon. I think if I ate like that as a rule I would put on weight quite quickly. I snack on fruit and nuts and eat less rice and pasta than fatter peopple.

I'm 5'2 and just under 8 stone.

We don't have a car. I walk everywhere, or take the bus occassionally. I really enjoy walking, it is never a chore.

My DH is nearly 6 foot and is under 10 stones. He eats like a horse. But he hardly ever cleans his plate, he stops eating when he's had enough. He eats often though.
He cycles 20miles to work each day which burns around 1000 calories a day and he playes squash a couple of times a week too. Plus he hardly ever sits down when he is at home, always doing something. It is exahusting just watching him!

think of carbs as fuel and eat them accordingly. going swimming, planning a bery active day? eat good carbs but not to excess, as those carbs will end up stored as excess fuel (fat)

protein is what helps your body regenerate. eat small regular portions, especially at breakfast as our western diet tends to be carb based for breakfast.

eat your own bodyweight in veg. replace all snacks with fruit or veg (veg sticks and hummous for example.

everything that goes in your mouth should be quality. and that goes for chocolate too.

for most women a full dinner plate of food is about 50 percent too much, unless half the plate is veg. look at antique dinner plates -- about the size of a modern side plate.

better still, don't snack as you don't need to. four hours between meals unless you're an athlete is adequate. think needs rather than wants

being a bit peckish won't kill you.

a great book to read about modern eating, marketing and ways to slightly and consistently reduce calorie intake without noticing is Mindless Eating by Prof Brian Wansink

I also bf for 6 years but I found didn't help with weight.

I did find having to walk in a particularly steep hill place we lived helped keep the weight off - but where we are now is pretty flat and the walking I now doesn't seem to help as much.

Thanks to this thread I am going to try and drink more - I know I did this when I was dieting with SW. I will also try and cut down on the sugar and carbs - I actively crave these in winter months when I also want to hibernate.

Eat reasonable sized portions, don't eat/drink crap and exercise. Walk everywhere. But it does help having skinny genes and growing up in a household where healthy eating and exercise was encouraged from an early age.