Anyone want to join a thread about Eating Less.

[bumblingbovine]

I read this book by Gillian Riley a while ago and it made so much sense. She has a website here
www.eatingless.com

I may even go to a seminar but I think the book has most of whast you need in it. There is a chapter free on the website to get an idea of the tone

She talks about stopping overeating and says that focussing on weight is completely counterproductive. I really would like to try this but thought it would be useful to have some support.

I have been thinking about this for a while but issues with my ds have got in the way. The other thread on fat/overeating has reminded me

I will need to dig the book out agin but the key thing she talks about is setting some realistic limits on the what, the amount and when you will eat and then sticking to them.

The idea is to "stop overeating" not to "lose weight". In fact you can stop overeating much more easily than you can lose weight and it happens quicker.

So my food plan would be to

Eat 3 balanced meals a day (one portion only - no seconds)every day. This would be
Breakfast between 7am and 9am
Lunch between 12pm and 2pm
Dinner between 6pm and 8pm

To have a maximum of 1 snack a day which should be of a reasonable size and reasonably healthy

Dessert if eaten should be fruit or yoghurt during the week but can be something less healthy at the weekend for dessert if I want it

Success would be sticking to the food plan each day. Weight would not come into it.
everybody's foodplan would be different to suit them

We could check in every few days (or daily) with how we have done or if we are having trouble with cravings and wanting to eat more.

Does anyone want to try this?

Hi and welcome, you are very welcome to join us.

QuimFabray You said "I find the POV of my friends, family and even wider society are contradicting the philosophy of the book, IYSWIM?" Not sure what POV is and what that means. REALLY hope you will get back on the wagon, I once said (a while ago) that I had fallen off the wagon and was being dragged along under it! That is how I feel today! But I will get back on it.

STG, Iva, erebus, winedog any anyone else, how's it going?

Iva how's the bullying case going?

Good day everyone
Lovely to see this group thriving and a big Welcome to QuimFabray (curious name, tell me more...).
It's been a bit of a struggle over the last week and I think I need to go and review the book again, to get myself focused. On the positive side, my social life has been fab-u-lous, it's been 'birthday season' over here, plus my work had a big event and there have been a raft of leaving dos. There has been waaaayy too much nice food (mainly of the party variety) and cake, oh so much cake!
So, I've spent more time off the wagon than on it .
I've got my follow-up appointment with the dietitian tomorrow and I'm dreading it. I can feel the 'Slimming World Panic Mode' taking a grip, and am wanting to starve myself today so I get a 'good result' at tomorrow's weigh-in. I know this is a really unhealthy attitude and I need to work on this compulsion of mine to 'please' and get the 'pat on the back' for being a Good Girl. It was this compulsion that I fed on at Slimming World groups, that drove me to lose weight last time, and that let me down so spectacularly last time when the weight loss slowed down and the approval dried up.
I know I just have to go into my appointment tomorrow with an honest approach and hope that can find something deep within myself to get back on the right track. i'm still falling into those 'holes in the sidewalk' but hope I can get out a lot quicker now. At least I recognise that now.
The bullying case has been pretty quiet as of late, but the bully went on leave for three weeks. He's back on Monday so it may well kick-off again then. We shall see.
Anyway thanks again for your honesty and support and keep up the good work!

Hi QuimFabray and welcome.

I know what you mean about society and over eating. We do have the oddest relationship with food, using it at reward, punishment, comfort, control and so on.

IGA POV= point of view!

Iva you're so right about the 'being a good girl and pleasing others*- one of those major holes in the sidewalk! But clearly recognising them for what they are has to be a step in the right direction, doesn't it? Let us know how you go with the dietitian.

What I need to do is to get my exercise by trotting along behind the wagon I keep falling off! Yesterday I ate 2 full sized meals, one for lunch and one for dinner (I am 'annoyed' with DH that he never takes leftovers to eat for lunch at work thus I end up with 'evening meal' food to use up). AND I ate a few jelly beans- I can usually walk past the DCs sweets without reaching for them!- AND I had 2 small glasses of fruit juice (which was always a problem- over the course of a day I could drink most of a 1litre carton of it!).

I am hanging out fore Sunday night when my stressful week will end. There's nothing really bad in it, just so much to do between now and then! I have both DSs off on INSET days, separately as well. Oh and a friend for each I'm also looking after....

Now I must dash and try and cram a days work into half.

IvaNighSpare good luck with the dietician - BE STRONG!

Also good luck with the bully, just be strong and remember you are your own person, no one can make you feel small without our permission, or something like that!

erebus good luck with the cramming, all the best.

Sorry Iva without Your permission, not our permission!

We give Iva OUR permission as well!

Just imagine the tosser naked.

Or dressed as Noddy!

Hey ladies, where have you all gone?

QuimFabray, Iva, STG, erebus, winedog how are you all?

Is anyone else reading? And how's it going?

Iva how's the bullying case going?

Hello all, I'm still around but on holiday thus the lack of posts. Doing well actually-my daughter has a tummy bug and there is nothing quite like that to put you off your food
As I mentioned in another post when I am faced with loads of food and don't restrict myself I am almost put off by the over abundnce. Seems to be happening a bit while on hols. Sometimes one more slice of cake offered by loving family is just too much!

Hi, just returned from a GR-free Cub Camp... the usual combination of just adequately prepared food (all lo-cost ingredients!), quite unimaginative recipes, far too much cake, squash as refreshments (I am not blaming the caterers- this is just entirely in the nature of such camps, particularly bearing in mind one might be shocked at the number of 10 year old boys who, given a wide selection, bypassed all the fruit and veg and even bolognese sauce and sat down to a meal of pasta and grated cheese. Baby food). There was loads of fruit and a fair bit of salad (which of course the boys hardly touched) but we were, as parent helpers, grabbing food as and when we could so no, the word 'balanced', let alone 'mindful' went pretty much out the window!

However I did run around in the heat quite a lot, dragging a gang of 8-10 year old boys on a Nature Hike, amazed at how many of them had to sit down to rest every 10 minutes; couldn't identify a stinging nettle, and failed to realise the point of wellies is to keep your feet dry: if you wade through a puddle and flood your boots, you will have an uncomfortable rest-of-hike, sunshine!)....

Anyway, at least on Friday my weight was stable so I feel I seem to know how to stay on track in a normal week. So I am firmly back on the GR wagon this weekend!

How is every one else doing??

I'm just popping in to say hello and thank you for this thread. This book sounds like it will be ideal for me, so I've ordered it from Amazon. I am heartily sick of my up and down weight losses. Even when I was slim, my attitude to food didn't change. I have read the sample chapter on Gillian Riley's website and am hopeful that this will help me to change my ways.

Hi everyone and welcome Marian
I've been off the radar a bit lately- just been busy with life in general.
Listening to GR a lot in my car and trying to brainwash myself a bit with it all.
Had a few blips over the past week due to various social events. Once I've had a glass or two of wine, my resolve fails - the old story.
I've about 6 weeks to go till my holiday so really need to get back to basics.
I am taking plenty of exercise though - swimming this morning, walk at weekend and doing Race for Life (only walking it though) next weekend.
I've got a gym membership which I have re-invigorated by trying a different branch which has much nicer light and airy premises than my usual one.
I just swam there for 30 mins today and will do so again on Wednesday.
Great to hear how you are all doing
STG

Well done with the swimming and gym, STG.

What I need is my own slightly heated pool so I don't have to get my kit together, drive 15 mins there, change in the marginally grotty changing rooms, then climb into a freezing pool with a dozen others who not only whiz past me but make it clear I'm in their own, personal lane who THEN create waves that end up up my nose! THEN I have to get changed back, drive home, then respectabilise myself, so a half hour swim takes up 2 hours of my time! Bah.

Or, or a weekend free of bleddy DIY (or Cub Camps) to plan a decent hike up a mountain. That would be good, once I'd zoned out of DCs moaning!

Hey erebus - know just what you mean about swimming! I live midway between 2 branches of my gym - one slightly closer is older and grottier - no natural light or seemingly ventilation in the changing rooms and low ceiling above the pool - horrid really! The other where I went today is further away so yes, almost a 2 hour procedure all told! But I've tied it in with driving my DS to his work experience placement which sort of made it worthwhile.
You know on reflection I don't even like swimming all that much AND I've noticed that I seem to swim slower than everyone else - can't make that out!
Anyway it wasn't too bad today, the water was quite cool and I felt refreshed afterwards, came home and sat out in the sun on my lounger - lazy creature.
Plan to do similar on Wednesday and Friday - goody two shoes.
The cub camp story takes me back to doing a similar thing with my older DS. It rained all day and all night and the site was a mudbath - DS cried and I had to bring him home!
How's everyone else doing - Iva, Italian, Winedog, QuimFabray?
Keep in touch
STG xx

winedog well done. I can't imagine any food putting me off!

And Well done erebus that sounds like a boot camp.

Marian welcome, I hope the thread will help.

It has been a bit quiet of late and my eating has gone haywire, coincidence !! No not blaming you lot!

STG Wow I'm doing a race for life next weekend too!

Erebus we joined a gym with a pool and were often the only ones in it, but now we have a child, 1.5 salaries and no money, so bye bye gym (would not swap DD for the world).

All the best to Iva and QuimFabray

hi guys,
Sorry I've been quiet, it's been a bit manic lately, and yesterday was insane. I live in Cyprus and the whole island was affected by the terrible explosion at the military base next a power plant which knocked all power out for hours, and is still having knock-on effects. Awful stuff.
Well the good news, is that my visit to the dietitian was great, I'd lost a couple of kilos which quite surprised me. We spent the appointment discussing attitudes to food and how it affects our families etc. Particularly our insistence that our children clear their plates. This may have been good philosophy a couple of generations back when food was scarcer, but it's totally unnecessary now. I'm still on a steep learning curve and falling off the wagon regularly and like you SteelTownGirl my resolve goes with alcohol consumption (and there's been a lot more social events than normal lately).
I still struggle with the phantom of the 'weigh-in' and since I took myself to task that has raised its ugly head again. Still I'm trying to take the positive and see that as a better thing than living in the denial that allowed my weight to balloon again. My challenge is to remember that the dietitian is an ally not someone to try and impress who I will eventually blame and vilify when I fail to live up to my own impossible standards.
I have been set a few more 'targets' none of them actual weightloss, but behavioural - working on the leaving something on my plate every meal, and reconsidering the number of meals I have each day (do I really need a big breakfast, lunch and dinner). I've also been encouraged to keep a diary of what I eat, why I chose to eat and my 'hunger level' when I eat. It's all about being aware what goes in my mouth and why obviously with a view to changing my approach. I gave the dietitian my copy of GRs book so we could discuss it next time.
The bullying case is still pretty quiet at the mo. The ?assailant? seems to be giving me a pretty wide berth which works just fine for me. There is a decision due next week as to whether my case should be progressed further, I gather the bully is due to be interviewed and I may be called up myself to give my side of the situation. We shall just have to see.
Well that?s all for now, keep it up folks x

Thank you for all of the welcomes. Iva I hope Cyprus is okay and recovering from the explosion. I hope nobody was seriously hurt.

A little history (feel free to skip this ). I am 5'9''. I went on my first WW diet when I was 15, with GP permission. I started at 12st 10lbs and went down to 11st. I regained this gradually over a couple of years, and when I fell pg with DD at 19, I was 18.5st at my heaviest. After having her went to SW, weighing in around 16st. Lost weight down to 10st at very lowest), settled around 10.10 for a couple of years. I maintained by smoking LOTS and drinking lots of diet drinks. I also ate minimal meals. I still felt fat. My weight was creeping again by time I met my DH. I was 11.3 when I got married (5 years ago), but have had a run of bad luck, particularly in relation to health, and had DS, so my weight crept back up to 16st. After DS was born (he's 2.5) I went back to SW and weighed in at 15st 7lbs. Since then it has been hellish. I have quit SW a number of times. I was prescribed Xenical by GP and that helped - I lost down to 13st 7, but then stopped for a bit and put back on to 14.3. I then started the tablets again and lost to 12.7, but had a health crisis at the start of this year that put me back to 14st. I am always losing a bit, putting it back on, losing a bit. Even at my lightest I had no control over food or eating. I just avoided doing it by smoking.

I am still awaiting my book. So, I am simply trying to tell myself I can eat whatever I like, but I have to be sensible about it. I've been through both extremes recently. I followed low GL and managed 3 weeks, losing 10lbs, and then I had a month long binge where I ate lots of 'naughty' food like it was going out of fashion. I haven't quite regained all the weight I lost. (I am about 13.10 now.) I love the idea of focusing on my eating rather than my weight, so I think I will chuck out the scales and resolve to live a happier life.

This has to change because I'm so brought down by it all. I'm fed up of not being able to get a grip of this.

Anyway, for the past few days I've felt quite positive about how I've eaten. It hasn't been 'diet', but it has been, I think, more normal. Not lots of out-sized portions and snacking between meals. And no takeaways (a very weak point for me).

I'm just keeping my fingers crossed that the book comes soon!

I hope everyone else is having a good day .

MarianH sadly, at least 12 dead and 40 injured
Still experiencing intermittent power outages, they've closed all Forces schools early for the summer too and reckon disruption could continue for months .

Hi Marian- your food-history sound to me like you could be the very sort of person GR was written for! Most of us have got yotyo and fad stuff behind us! It's so 'not a diet' but a way of readjusting one's attitude to food, hunger etc via recognising the triggers. It almost asks you to approach it from an oblique avenue, from 'the back door' as it were so you can almost sneak up on yourself- it's a bit of 'love yourself' but 'control the behaviour'.

Let us know when you've had chance to read the book. At first it seems a bit concept-y but it isn't long before you realise she's putting quite similar ideas in different ways- I assume so that we can all find something, some way of looking at an issue that resonates with each of us individually.

Sad news about the deaths in Cyprus, INS

Hi everyone
Good to read all your updates
Marian interesting to read your history, I think you will find the book useful. I also sent off for the companion CD from Gillian Riley's website and I've found that helpful too, though not essential if you have the book.
Iva dreadful news - thinking of you! Really interested in the points you make - I come from a northern family where I think food is used to express love and caring - my mum, gran and two aunties were always there at social events with tables groaning with food and encouraging us all to tuck in heartily. I have difficulty leaving anything on my plate to this day.
My lifestyle is also such that I seem to do a lot of socialising around food and drink and it seems the only way around this is to say no to some of the invitations. Having said that I have a couple of girlfriends locally with whom I've a pact - we go for an evening walk rather than meet at each other's homes where we inevitably get the wine out at some point.
As I've a real downer on the gym at present, I've resolved for the time being just to use it for swimming and am going again tomorrow.
As an aside, I am finding the Ken Goss book helpful, alongside GR. It has got me questioning whether indeed I do "overeat" or whether I just think I do. I'm tending to the view that I simply don't do enough exercise, because a little analysis of what I do eat makes me think I'm really not that bad.
Goss, like GR, suggests times and plans for daily eating so there are some similarities.
An issue I do need to address is alcohol though! An honest appraisal tells me I am not having enough alcohol-free-days, of late. Hell, something else to worry about!
Oh dear, this also sounds a bit on the navel-gazing side - sorry for boring on - but it's so therapeutic to be able to say these things knowing you are all kindred spirits.
Looking forward to more of your insights...love and good wishes to all
STG

Iva I'm so sorry about the explosion, I hope everyone will be OK.

Regarding the bully, just keep picturing him/her dressed as Noddy! Complete with hat and bell!

Things to help you!

www.enidblytonsociety.co.uk/forums/viewtopic.php?f=9&t=1708

uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080718125846AAMWwSY

Good luck with the mindful eating.

Marian really hope this will be a turning point for you.

STG yes I walk once a week with a friend/friends and it is great, we really chat rather than spending our time eating and drinking! I SO equate food with love and treats. I find it almost impossible to think of treats for DD that don't include food or drinks! But now I am trying to think comic books, trip to the park/library, bike ride instead of sweets/ice lolly/drink etc!

Love to all

Anymore readers/lurkers want to join us writers and share their experiences??

Iva I'm rubbish at keeping up with the news at the moment. I'm really sorry to hear about the deaths and I hope things are settling down over there for everyone.

My blummin book still hasn't turned up. That will teach me for going 'super saver' on my Amazon delivery! I will possibly be going away for a few days too, so it will be into next week before I get to read it. I am just trying to maintain a sensible approach.

I suspect, as many of you have commented, that I could be the poster lady for obsessive and compulsive eating. I've had a problem with food since I can remember, and my weight ballooned when I was 6. I used to spend entire days as a child sneaking food. My issues with it run deep, and dieting has made it twenty times worse. This is all compounded by the fact we are going through very difficult and uncertain times as a family. But this is why I want to regain some control. When our recent issues began, it gave me an excuse to eat. However, becoming bigger (in part for comfort and protection I suspect) will not make things better. It will just make me feel worse.

STG I think exercise is a big part of things for me. I managed to maintain my weight loss before because I was doing a lot of exercise. However, I struggle to see exercise for itself - it has weight loss connotations. So, if I eat badly, I don't see the point in doing it! I need to change this. My sister is losing weight gradually and successfully and I've noticed that one factor that is different between us is that she will exercise even if she has had a 'bad' eating day (I know I need to stop with the 'good' and 'bad'). An evening walk is such a lovely idea. I think I will pinch it!

I hope that everyone is having a good, and mindful, day!

Hi ladies, I've decided to come out of lurkdom to ask if I can join you?
I need to lose about 4st, I've had issues with addictive eating/binges/whatever we want to call it for over 30 years, and I'm worried about my physical and emotional health. I want to sort this now. It's actually making me depressed worrying about it all the time and resolving each morning to eat better that day, then I spiral down into overeating.
And even though I mentioned that I need to lose weight, I'm ready now to deal with the food addiction as the priority, rather than weight loss.

I have GR's book - it had been sitting in the bookcase since I bought it about 4 years ago. A big problem that I have is that I get easily distracted. I decided on one method, then read about a different one and decide to try that, then I decide to go on a diet then the whole silly cycle starts again and I don't commit to anything.
I've joined WW and SW more times than I can remember. Managed to lose a bit more than a stone on WW but then gained it all back. Apart from that one ocassion I just cannot stick to a diet - diets make me want to binge. I've tried every diet under the sun. I've been to Overeaters Anonymous. I've had hypnotherapy. I've tried Paul McKenna - I know that's great for some people but not for me. I need to deal with the addictive thoughts and feelings. When I eat sugar (and some refined carbs) I just can't stop. When I've followed diets that dont allow sugar, like South Beach and low GL, I do find that my cravings disappear. But as soon as I eat it again, that's it, I'm off on a binge that can last for weeks.
What jumped out at me in GR's book is that she points out that it's almost impossible to live without ever eating sugar again. (This is on the very first page of the book under Myths - Myth #3). I totally understand that. I also like that she is keen on the low GL way of eating. She seems to combine what I need - encourages healthier eating (I'm convinced that low GL is the way to go for me), deals with the problem - the addictive desire to eat, and also her plan seems to be one that I could use forever. No on/off a diet, no completely forbidden foods. Just up to me to make the right choices and own those decisions. I also like Times and Plans because again, if I don't eat regularly, I don't feel my hunger and then go too long between meals and overeat like mad.

I think I'll need a lot of support, so I decided to post instead of just lurk. I hope I can offer some back to you too.
I can't afford to do a seminar - I would need to book a hotel in London for two nights, plus train fare, plus seminar, it would be about £500. But what I am strongly considering is contacting Gillian for a few private sessions with her.
Scared but glad to be finally dealing with my problem.
Nice to 'meet' you all.
And sorry my post is so long!