Anyone want to join a thread about Eating Less.

[bumblingbovine]

I read this book by Gillian Riley a while ago and it made so much sense. She has a website here
www.eatingless.com

I may even go to a seminar but I think the book has most of whast you need in it. There is a chapter free on the website to get an idea of the tone


She talks about stopping overeating and says that focussing on weight is completely counterproductive. I really would like to try this but thought it would be useful to have some support.

I have been thinking about this for a while but issues with my ds have got in the way. The other thread on fat/overeating has reminded me

I will need to dig the book out agin but the key thing she talks about is setting some realistic limits on the what, the amount and when you will eat and then sticking to them.

The idea is to "stop overeating" not to "lose weight". In fact you can stop overeating much more easily than you can lose weight and it happens quicker.

So my food plan would be to

Eat 3 balanced meals a day (one portion only - no seconds)every day. This would be
Breakfast between 7am and 9am
Lunch between 12pm and 2pm
Dinner between 6pm and 8pm

To have a maximum of 1 snack a day which should be of a reasonable size and reasonably healthy

Dessert if eaten should be fruit or yoghurt during the week but can be something less healthy at the weekend for dessert if I want it

Success would be sticking to the food plan each day. Weight would not come into it.
everybody's foodplan would be different to suit them

We could check in every few days (or daily) with how we have done or if we are having trouble with cravings and wanting to eat more.

Does anyone want to try this?

[IvaNighSpare]

Here is the page for the podcasts

[MarianH]

I have totally lost the plot and had 3 days of chronic overeating all of the usual rubbish that drags me down. I feel very rough at the moment! I think it is a combination of feeling pretty fed-up, PMS and having a rotten cold so needing to cheer myself up. It started on the first day because we couldn't get out as DD was too poorly, so we were stuck in and I was feeling sorry for her and myself. We've had seven months of being stuck in, it is very hard going at times, especially with crazy 2 year old to keep entertained. The last couple of days were because I have put myself back in an overeating cycle. I'm hoping that posting here will force me back on the straight and narrow.

DD has got my cold. I'm praying that she stays well enough to avoid becoming an in-patient. We are due to finally go away for a few days, and we all need a break, so keep your fingers crossed!

All being well, she should start phasing back into school in September. She will still be having chemotherapy (treatment for leukaemia for girls is just over 2 years) but will be over the strongest treatment. This means that we will be back into a more normal routine. I find it so hard to avoid overeating when I'm at home all day.

[SteelTownGirl]

Hello again everyone. I have been AWOL for a while. I feel awful - a fraud to be on this thread, though I guess some of you will understand.
Basically I have just not been hacking it. I read the GR book and it all makes sense and "fits" the sort of issues I have/have had.
Trouble is, I can't seem to DO IT properly for more than a couple of days. Something always seems to crop up to derail me (yes I know it's me doing the derailing).
Don't laugh but getting out of my car in a tight space recently I could only open the door a little bit and had to squeeze out - somehow I managed to "clip" the GR CD which was poking out of the pocket in the car door. It shattered into 100s of pieces. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.
I thought - this is not meant to be!
I know have only a month to my holiday and am not losing weight.
I too have had a weekend where I've eaten and drunk too much and feel c**p today, about my body, my lack of self-discipline etc etc.
So down am I, I've even posted on a thread about that Tony Ferguson plan you can buy at Boots.
Someone give me a hug please and dissuade me (I think it's like Slim-Fast)
Hope you're all well
Love STG xxxx

[SteelTownGirl]

Iva - thanks for the links to the podcasts - I'll have a listen tomorrow.
How's everyone else doing?
Hi to the new ladies, too!

[MarianH]

Steel I think it makes it harder when you know you want to lose weight for a particular occasion. Mine is going back to work when DD is better. This means I am secretly still focusing on weight rather than my 'self esteem of controlling my eating'. Although, I am ROFL that I am typing this as I am by no means a paragon of virtue, having had another HIDEOUS binge day yesterday. I don't do things by half. I have to go to hospital again today as DD needs platelets, but once we've sorted that I'm running away to my Mum's for a few days. This will either kill or cure me on the eating front. Am going to take my GR book to re-read.

[IvaNighSpare]

Just wanted to tell MarianH and SteelTownGirl that you are not alone and you are not making any mistakes that haven't already been made by me and millions of others.
Maybe it's all about the living in the now and getting through each moment as it happens. Congratulate yourselves for every hour you get through where you feel in control, and maybe that will spur you on for the next hour, etc.
All the 12-step programmes that tackle addictive behaviour start with 'one day at a time'. And there are 12 steps, not one massive leap. That to me shows that addiction needs a softly-softly approach, and acknowledges that we may fall over a few times on the way.
Did we learn our addictive habits overnight? Did we go to bed one day an addiction-free person and wake up the following day a full-blown food junkie? Of course not! So why do we expect to reverse the process at break-neck speed and without error? I wonder if it's the realisation and the shame that we want to run away from. Addiction is all about satisfying urges right now , and now we have opened our eyes fully to the fact that we have lost control, we want to satisfy a new urge to fix it right now too, to make it go away. Can you think of any illness, malady etc that is healed miraculously in a day? Bit bonkers really, innit?
That's why the quick-fix remedies are so attractive, promising us so much, and when they fail to deliver we blame ourselves . Our anger at our failure to succeed is directed internally when maybe we should focus it on the society, the media, commercialism etc who sell us dreams of health and slimness whilst throwing temptation in our path every day. It is a common attitude to blame the victims of excess (the alkies, the druggies etc whilst overlooking the criminals who prosper from their weakness and insecurity).
What am I trying to say here? Maybe we should stop being angry at ourselves for succumbing to this attitude, and turn the anger on the society that perpetuates then ridicules it. How can you fight yourself?
Maybe we should turn our self-hatred towards the makers of food and products which we know are harming us and hurt them by rejecting their products and preventing them from profiting from our ultimate demise. I'm going to try and tell myself that I won't eat that chocolate bar/packet of crisps/ fast food meal etc not because it will make me fat, but because I refuse to subscribe any longer to the false promises they offer, and I'm bloody pissed off that I've been deluded for so long.
Of course, I will need to keep telling myself this over and over again, and I don't expect to get it right first time (remember the Hole in the Sidewalk analogy)
Try this - I did - walk around a shopping mall or high street and notice how many adverts, shops, smells etc are designed to lure you into eating things that aren't strictly good for you. It's scarey!

This is no lecture from a convert, I'm telling myself this as much as I'm preaching to anyone else. I hope you can make sense of my ramblings.

[IvaNighSpare]

Me again
Having just re-read through my ramblings, I have had a small epiphany of my own. Maybe this new attitude of mine stems from being involved in taking out a claim of bullying against an employer.
I have come to realise that I derive a hue amount of empowerment, self-worth and self respect in taking a stand against something that I truly believe to be wrong and unfair. Even if it seems like I'm sometimes fighting a losing battle, my pride remains intact if I have the courage of my convictions.
Maybe I can use this same energy to 'fight for my rights' against the injustices of a food industry that seduced me, as I have used in fighting back against a boss who betrayed a trust that he encouraged me to invest in.
Hope this makes sense.

[winedog]

I was going to post to steeltown girl and say 'don't do it re tony ferguson' but see that iva has already posed a wonderfully eloquent reply. You are going through the classsic trying to loose weight for a special event cycle- know as I have done the same over and over myself in preparation for holidays. Take a deep breath and relax and enjoy the holiday anyway...... Nearly finished my hols and you know what-nobody else is usually interested in how much you weigh anyway.

[MarianH]

We were disappearing off the bottom of the page...

I hope everyone is okay.

My holiday was pretty much cancelled as I've been in and out of hospital for 5 days with DD. She will have had 3 blood and platelet transfusions in a week. She's not too poorly in herself, thankfully, but it would be daft to go to a caravan whilst she's obviously struggling. Needless to say, this has not been a brilliant time to mindfully eat. I need to get a grip!

[Italiangreyhound]

Marian so sorry about your daughter, hope she will be better soon.

Iva all the best to you, and STG hope you can stay on the wagon. I have finally finished the book and love it. It is very good. I really like the idea I can do it.

[Italiangreyhound]

Hey ladies, how you all doing????

It's awful quiet!

Erebus, Steeltowngirl, Winedog, Iva, Marian and Malory - where is everyone???

[IvaNighSpare]

Hi all,
Sorry for the recent radio silence, I?ve been sulking skulking.
Things haven?t been too great with the weight issues for me lately, at my last two sessions with the dietician no weight loss has occurred at all and we had a massive heart-to-heart yesterday where I was forced to admit to myself, amidst floods of tears, that I was ?talking the talk not walking the walk?. The dietician was very compassionate but pointed out that I do have quite a lot of weight to lose if for the sake of my future health and no amount of psycho-analysing, reading and thinking about it would have any impact if I did not take some positive action. She is right. I?ve been offered very achievable goals and failing to even stick to those, goals that include leaving a small amount on my plate every meal and halving my meat portions whilst increasing my carbs and fruits/veg. I?ve also not kept a food diary, which has allowed me to remain deep in denial about my own behaviour. Not good. . We had a long discussion, and more tears, where she pointed out that I obviously have some kind of psychological block that is stopping me from motivating myself, and until I can work out what that is and break through it then I will continue to self-sabotage.
So I went home and did some deep thinking, yet more crying and had a long chat with DH. Through our chats I kept complaining that ?I can?t do it? and he kept responding with ?but you did do it, you lost five and a half stone with Slimming World? (the dietician said exactly the same thing). My retort was ?yes, but I put it all back on so I failed?. DH was insistent that it wasn?t a failure, just a set-back, and here I think is where my mental block lies. Last night I finally admitted to myself that I have been harbouring some very deep-seated shame and self-loathing over my perceived inability to maintain what is, frankly, an amazing achievement. And around this shame and pain I have built a very effective wall of rebellion, feigned indifference and anger deflected at the very things that once assisted me. All because I told myself that they ?let me down?. So I rejected Slimming World and all I convinced myself that it stood for.
The truth is, I was the one who took all the wrong aspects of what slimming groups have to offer (support, encouragement etc) and used it to prop up my low self-esteem, my disproportionate sense of competitiveness and my desperate need for ego-massage. I needed to be the best, the most successful, the ?winner?. So I set myself up for ?failure? with goals that simply could not be sustained. And when it all came crashing down on me, I blamed everyone but myself.
So I have made a monumental decision. I?m going back to Slimming World. It worked for me before, it can work for me again. But this time, I am going to do it as a self-nurturing exercise, I will not buy in to the celebrity of the weekly awards, I will ask the consultant not to read out my weekly gains and losses, and I will close my ears to the announcements of others? achievements. But I will listen to and absorb the support and advice that emanates in the solidarity of the group. I won?t shout about my successes but I will share my frustrations and concerns. I have always benefitted from group therapy ? Al-Anon saved my sanity, so maybe if go in with a fresh pair of eyes and a determination not to be seduced by the wrong things, then maybe I have the chance this time.
And it?ll be a big thing going back too. It?s the shame of my failure that has kept me away more than anything else. I need to convince myself that nobody is laughing and pointing their fingers at me and laughing at ?the fat girl who f*cked up? (of course they?re not but in my skewed head they are). I need to break through the shame and the fear which have held me back so much lately.
I have no idea if this fits in with GR?s philosophy, I know Slimming World isn?t a ?diet?, it?s a plan, so I hope I can continue to apply GR?s principles without contradicting myself. I?d love to hear your thoughts on this.

[CraftyKaz]

Iva - I'm new to this thread but I too had lost a lot of weight (with Sure Slim) only to put it all on again hating myself all the time. Then I came across a book by Dr Amanada Sainsbury-Salis called The Don't Go Hungry Diet. She is an Australian scientist and studied Weight loss at a university in Geneva. She had weight problems too. Anyway, she discovered what she calls the 'Famine Reaction'. Our bodies are programmed to search out food and put weight back on otherwise we would have died out years ago! This is why so many people lose weight only to put it all back on and we blame ourselves. Amanada's answer is to lose weight a little at a time, maintaining your loss before losing more and to only eat when hungry. The 'only eat when hungry' is where I struggle and find Gillian's advice helpful but Amanda has been useful in explaining why the weight went back on.

[Italiangreyhound]

Iva if you find support and encouragement in your group then go for it. Also try and build up your self esteem so that you can know you really are worth it. You are worth healthy eating; you are worth looking after yourself and worth exercise. I have started to think I need to go running a bit as well as walking. I honestly think whatever works for you is good. Just make sure you go into it thinking this is a long term plan, a long-term solution and not a quick fix.

My hubby has moved the sales back into the bathroom and I am itching to weigh myself to know how much I weigh! To be honest I?d rather get my eating under control first!

I think if you can also weigh up the eating good things, healthy things rather than just low calorie things, that is good.

Iva I wish you all the very best, you are a super person, so encouraging and you really do deserve for this to all work out.

If you want to, and if you can bare to, please do give some idea why you think you self sabotage? But only if you want to.

CraftyKaz welcome.

Erebus, Steeltowngirl, Winedog, Marian and Malory

Hugs to all

[Italiangreyhound]

Thinking of you all, ladies, any news?

[foreverondiet]

crazykaz I am a bit obsessed in the "putting it back on question" - I agree that the body is programmed to regain it and I agree with Dukan's theory that you are at risk for 5 days for each pound lost. As I lost over 50lbs I am at risk for around 8 months, and so during this time I continue to be very careful, but do enjoy the "celebration meals" plus eat more than I did on the strict part of teh weight loss diet. I'm about 3 months into this period, and am doing well (haven't gained) but do lapse every so often and eat when not hungry but now good at recognising this and get back on track immediately, generally the same day.

There are other tips I have gleaned in respect of this - eg switching to clean lowish carb diet, attempting to gain lean body mass (muscle), weighing regularly and only eating when hungry. I reread Gillian (and Paul Mckenna) often.

[IvaNighSpare]

Hi everyone,
Italiangreyhound thank you so much for the lovely, kind, supportive words.
I was all geared up to go back to Slimming World then found out that the consultant was on holiday so it was just a weigh-in session at the mo. I hope I can keep the momentum going till they return.
Self Sabotage...hmmmm.....I think it's the whole "f*ck it" attitude I get, as if I'm rebelling against somebody oppressing me. 'They' say I can't eat something so I'm bloody well going to....Bit bonkers really because nobody is sitting on my shoulder telling what or what not to eat. I think it may be my way of denying my own responsibility to myself, if I can apportion blame, I have something to rebel against. I wonder if that's why I villified the Slimming World thing so much, it gave me a convenient outlet for the anger and shame I didn't want to direct at myself, and reinforced the helplessness and victim mentality I hid behind.
crazykaz the whole "5 days for each pound lost" theory intrigues me. Considering, at my best I had lost 77lbs, that put me 'at risk' for over a year. I could hardly maintain for a week let alone any longer. If, sorry when I start losing the weight again, maybe I should bear that in mind.
Anyhoo, keep up the good work folks

[CraftyKaz]

Forever Thanks for your advice - I've bought 'Adore Yourself Slim' on your recommendation - it makes Destination Dream Weight seem like a fun journey! At first I wasn't able to bring myself to write in the book but now I have covered it in wrapping paper it seems more like a journal and I shall be filling in all the graphs etc. I'll read the Dukan book to find out more about the risk of regaining. I borrow a lot of diet/self help books from the library but it gets a bit embarrassing as I know most of the librarians! I've assumed the Dukan diet was like Atkins (which I only managed a morning on!) and so I've never read it.

Iva Good luck on your journey - I'm just starting out on mine (again!) but like you I started regaining within a week of getting to my goal weight last time. I have been at goal weight several times before, usually with Weight Watchers and once with Sure Slim. Sureslim was the most spectactular rebound. I'm changing my habits this time - even making my kitchen a nicer place to prep meals and I've changed my morning routine so my day starts on a positive note. One thing I learnt from Sure Slim was to make my Healthy Eating a priority and not to leave meal prep to the last minute.

[Italiangreyhound]

Good luck ladies, it's good to hear that things are going well, Iva keep going honey.

My body always swings back to my weight, of 13'12. It's almost like clockwork, no matter what I lose i always end up back at 12'12. Why is that?

Hugs to all.

[Italiangreyhound]

13'12 not 12!

[Italiangreyhound]

Hey ladies, its gone all quite again. Where are you all and how are you doing?

Come out and share, whatever the tales, we can cope.

Crafty, Erebus, Steeltowngirl, Iva, Marian, Winedog, and Malory - have I missed anyone?

love to all.

[projectbabyweight]

Hi Italiangreyhound, I was just reading this thread and wondering if it had died a death when you posted.

Can I join? I've read the book and really think it's the way to go, but I haven't fully committed to it yet (lazy). I've only got half a stone or so to lose, but the bigger issue for me is wanting to feel less out of control around food.

How are you finding it?

[IvaNighSpare]

Hey - stop press - the book's being released on Kindle at the end of the month. Yaaaayyy!!

[Italiangreyhound]

Hi Projectbabyweight it is not dead, it is just sleeping! So wake it up!

Welcome and please do join us.


Iva nice to hear from you.

Crafty how is it going?

Are you still around, Erebus, Steeltowngirl, Marian, Winedog, and Malory - have I missed anyone?

Taking my blood pressure at home these days! It is a bit high and we are still trying to get pregnant so if we succeed it could be harmful in pregnancy to have high blood pressure (I had it last time). Actually being worried about my blood pressure has done wonders for my weight. I have already managed to avoid a doughnut and some chocolate fingers (which said on the box 'One may lead to another' or some other crapola!). I weighed myself and have lost a pound in a day, which I feel must be impossible!

I have got to admit that FOR ME weighing myself have proved to be the only sure way of knowing how much I am carrying extra. Due to irritable bowel my tummy bloats in and out regularly, which makes it hard to tell what is going on! I have had a real problem with food for years and impulse eat but I am trying now to control it, not because of wanting to look good but just to be healthy. So Gillian Riley's comments in the book 'Eating Less' are very helpful. She is all about health and not about looks, which suits me. As I say, I do weigh myself (which she does not recommend) but the book also talks about changing the way you think about food, making positive choices to avoid things that are harmful and so making new brain patterns. I do think it is the best way to go and better than a diet. I don't need a diet to tell me chocolate fingers are not a health food!

[projectbabyweight]

I've had a breakthrough, of sorts. Instead of thinking I'm "on a diet/following a plan (such as Eating Less)" or "I'm not but should be", I'm beginning to get my head round eating better as an ongoing thing.

Otherwise it's all too wrapped up in being good or naughty, which seems a bit childlike, and can make me overeat in anticipation of being strict on Monday, for example.

I read something really interesting the other day. It happened to be for people with narcissistic mothers, but maybe could apply to others too. It was about not being able to develop a sense of inner authority because it would be too threatening to a controlling/otherwise disturbed parent. This would lead to not having "the courage of your convictions", e.g. making a decision and sticking to it. And I think it's tied up with not feeling important.

I'd like to have more of a sense of being important enough to put the effort in (to eat better) and be able to trust myself to not let it slide because I can't be bothered, or giving into immediate gratification.

Like Gillian says, if you keep in mind the long-term benefit, and respect how important it is to you, then it might be easier to resist addictive eating. Plus if the theory is true, it should get easier as you keep on facing the temptation and resisting it. Hope so anyway!