Busty Babe With GSOH Seeks SW Partner for Weigh-Ins, Bad Jokes & Barely Veiled Self-Loathing

[BlooferLady]

All right, when you've un-cringed from the above -

I'm about to (re-)embark on Slimming World and since I have neither the time nor the funds to go to classes could really do with a coupla pals for those delicious weekly morning weigh-ins. Is anyone interested? I guess it would be ideal if we were all SWing, but it ain't essential. It's the praise or blame I need, alongside willing recipients of lengthy descriptions of the size of my arse .

Few stats (and needless to say we needn't go in for actual weights here)

I lost 3.5 stone a couple of years ago on SW, and have gained about 20lb of that. I KNOW! Silly bint.

As a first step I want to lose 10lb because this will take me into the 'light enough for IVF' category (I have 6 months left before referral for fertility treatment and if not pregnant by then would like to arrive in the pink of health).

After that I would like to lose another 10lb and say 'hello stranger!' to my sad neglected wardrobe of vintage frocks.

Finally, if you are interesting in hanging out, would you mind awfully looking in the mirror and checking that you actually are properly overweight?! Because nothing would depress me more than celebrating getting into a size 16 dress, when everyone else on the thread was lamenting finding their size 10 skinnies a little snug

Right. I'll now sit back and await rejection. Alpine my luvva, if you're reading this do join!

Hello beautiful Bloofer, please can I play?
It was my birthday yesterday and I spend two hours in bed with the curtains drawn feeling sorry for myself because I am old and fat .

I can't join the baby making party, as am menopausal and have teenagers (another source of deep joy!), but am very fed up of 16/18, and all clothes being chosen on 'it fits' rather than 'it's gorgeous'.

Have started to do some serious exercise (two hours hill walking three times a week) and feel fitter but am still Lardy the Lard-Arsed Lady from Lardtown.

I really need somesupport and handholding and praise when I manage to do it right and somewhere to confess when I am stooooopid and snarf down six croissants.

Thanks for starting this, Bloofer

G'morning Norks! Nice name there. Let us have no more of this curtain drawing, or at least, if there is to be curtain drawing, let us all huddle in the same room together making muttering noises.

Hill walking sounds absolutely the bidnit, and is bound to give you buns of steel! Are you going to follow an eating plan of any kind? I'm quite controlling so always need A Plan, and lots of us here are doing Slimming World, but I know others (Pony for instance) are pretty good at monitoring themselves without sticking to a particular regime. Horses for courses and whatnot.

I shall add you to the list next Tuesday, which is the Day of Doom. We need a target loss (you can do you full target on an interim one, depending on what suits you). If you weigh yourself today, then since it's only Wed morning you can post a loss next week :) Like I said somewhere upfred, there's no need at all to post actual weights (it won't be on the Big Fat List) but some of us have found it therapeutic to 'air' it, so to speak.

Anyway: welcome! It is only mid-April and there is no earthly reason why, come high summer, you should not be sporting a wardrobe consisting purely of frocks chosen for beauty and not scale!

I bought a bikini when I was 34! I'd love to fit in to it again. boo I have the aforementioned halter neck swimsuit - there I was stretched out by the pool when JB comes over clutching his sides. My boob had fallen out of one side so there I was with only 1 tit out as though making a statement. :( Twat.

I have never wanted to look like the Special K girl [shrug] - Kim Clijsters (with tits) on the other hand.

I feel a bit cheated right now because I'm trying knocking the ciggies on the head too. I'm 37 and I can't reach 40 still fat and on the fast-track to heart disease. :( But smoking is just another "disease" we know is damaging us and we still do it.

Fishy- at my heaviest I rocked in at a feather under 21 stone - so I've been there. :)

bloofer Oh yeh, I'm really good at monitoring myself. That's why yesterday morning I had greek yoghurt, banana & walnuts. For lunch I had mixed young leaves, a bunch of radishes, a tiny avocado, prawns, baby tomatoes, sprinkled with pinenuts and drizzled with a dash of olive oil & balsalmic vinegar. When I got the munchies mid-afternoon I nibbled on a raw carrot. Then, I accidentally troughed 2 stroopwaffels. Then, went to pick the baby up from creche and needed to stop for petrol and found myself buying Ben & Jerry's. But don't worry, it's all gone now. I really need to get to the fucking gym today and punish myself.

Does anyone do couch 2 5k? Did you download your own podcasts? I'm a strong, black woman (meek blue-tinged Scot) and I absolutely love this type of music and this works for me: www.kissmyblackass.org/podcasts/ - so I need to give my ipod a slap and then take it to the gym. And, and, AND I'm going to cycle to the gym. Will be leaving when JB (that's JailBait - for I am a cougar) gets back from work.

I cannot imagine shopping for clothes and enjoying the experience. I can't picture buying clothes because I like them, rather than because they fit me.I'm only 41, have years ahead of me buying clothes in theory things certainly have to change around here.

I remember being about 10 1/2 stone, and every pair of size 12 jeans in the world fitting me. I met DH about then, poor man.

Welcome to everyone new. I'm off to boil some eggs.

Bloofer have a lovely day at your Smart Event.

And, actually, my fantasy isn't wearing a bikini or Special K red swimsuit - what I'd really like is to be able to wear some leather knee high boots in winter. I have such enormous calves that even if I got some made for me now I think I'd look like I was wearing a couple of upside down cones on my legs.

Also I live in the rural north, so leather boots will get a outing here, unlike a bikini.

Does anyone else have a fantasy item of clothing?

I'd like to make leather jeans look sexy rather than fetish wear.

My fantasy item is white skinny jeans, and a fitted top.............god, my fantasies aint what they used to be!!
Good morning everyone...hope we all have a successful day

ANY jeans and a fitted top

Actually - a fitted shirt.

or just my old leather jacket

twonoisyboys Are you channeling Liz Hurley?

Oooh in addition to jeans, can I have a fitted skirt like colditz which doesn't make me look as wide as I am tall?

And please if it's not too much trouble can I get in to my cute little brown cord hipsters from Esprit that are totally "country to town".

Actually, I just want to wear what's in my wardrobe rather than looking like Divine Brown. :(

Because when I dress up "nicely" right now I always feel I look like John Travolta in Hairspray. :( Actually, that scene in the fat shop where John gets to try on all the clothes that fit but hasn't left the house for 10 years I think would ring true for nearly all of us.

Ha ha AlpinePony I've never consciously thought of it like that, but now you come to mention it............

Morning, Gels (channels jean brodie)

It's my weigh in at group today, yes I go to groups, actually my consultant is lovely and not in the least bit patronising, really really! i have ab it of a girl crush on her even though she has terrible dress sense, i justa dmire what she has made the group, SW consultant... your doing it right.

I seem to have hit on a nice bunch of peeps there so I will join here for banter and general motivation away from all my usual issues with food fuckwittery. I have been here before and unless I put myself through the groups I cannot do it alone, I need judgement and approval godammit. I need slimmer of the week now an again so i can crow about how wonderful SW is and how motivated I am and how I really mean it this time.

But my scales today say 20st 9. We'll see what the scales of AUTHOROTIEEEE say tonight.

oooh my fantasy item is high heels. Ok i'm 5ft 11 so dont need high heels at all. but I love to wear them and I cant cos I'm such a bloater unless they were made of anything less than industrial scaffolding they wont support me and it' chuffin hurts cos im too fat.

anything under a size 18 would be nice too. I may even be able to shop somewhere other than evans then and wear clothes less for 50 year olds and more for 30 something yr olds.

My dream clothings are CASUAL CLOTHES. I have never really worn CASUAL CLOTHES. Friends have remarked that even my nightwear is rather ostentatious .

I want to wear boyfriend jeans, a band T shirt, and vintage Nike hi-tops

I have a leather and jersey black backless halterneck size 10 obscenely short dress that would just be for DH to see as alas too old now to wear it in public. At one point it was too big for me.

My dream outfit now would be scruffy jeans, size 12, with a vest top and no bra. and a thong. I have a few tats that have not seen the light of day for a long time.

leather and lycra rather!

Oh god, the jeans/combats, vest top, no bra look - as modelled by Kate in "Lost". thievesbytuesday.files.wordpress.com/2008/06/c2lost-kate-sawyer-jack_l.jpg In reality - spacehopper in flipflops.

If I wore that vest without a bra you'd be able to see my nipples. Hanging out the bottom!

Bloofer (did you know that iPhone auto corrects your name to 'blooded'?), that is very much my fantasy wardrobe. I may have a Ramones t-shirt ( medium - bought in a fit of optimism) languishing in a drawer. If I should die as o e of those people who have to be winched from their home by the Fire Brigade, please ensure that it is buried with me.

Arf at spacehopper in flip flops!

No bra?

I do so luff you lot, I have had several guffawing moments

So far today I've just had fruit and fibre, but I'm planning on smoked salmon, scrambled eggs and rocket in a short while. Fish called last night and told me Mullerlights are on offer somewhere - was it Tesco? - so I may swing by and grab some of those later.

I got some really nice pants in Evans last week, in the sale. They actually fit me, and cover my belly to under the bellybutton without falling down, which made me feel skinnier almost instantly.

Fish That is bloody good going lady!

Alpy I only rode for half an hour - my legs are barely functioning today. Please to reassure me this is normal after not going riding for 4 years?

booboo Completely normal, if I've not ridden for a few weeks it can ache.

I had LF sausage and tomato sandwich for breakfast - 2 syns, + HCB
Have just had chicken breast stirfry with boiled noodles and soy sauce - free on EE (I think!)
Dinner will be SW carbonara that my friend is cooking for me.

morrisons - 12 for £2