Should I mention my husband's Mounjaro side effects and eating my lunches

[justasking111]

I'm not supposed to know DH is taking mounjaro but do. I've had to endure three months of awful mood swings, temper tantrums, nausea, violent tummy upsets. However, he has lost a lot of weight.

He insisted on buying and cooking his own food. Which upset me at first but I've got used to.

However, I did my own shop yesterday for lunches, coronation chicken planned for two lunches, cold meat for another two lunches. I had some chicken yesterday. Today all the chicken has gone and most of the cold meat.

Now I've said nothing because his mood swings have abated, he's being nice.

Should I say something or just be grateful that my DH is easier to live with.

You decided?, When you came up with this?

I suspect I'm responding to non mounjaro users in the main who are just taking a pop at men. I'm really only interested in talking to mounjaro users who are going through this.

I’d say the same to a woman. It’s a bizarre thing to keep from your husband , especially the money issue.
There’s woman at work we are not supposed to know about it’s so obvious.

There are two "healthy" ways relationship wise to approach this -

#1 Accept he might not be telling you as embarrassed/fails like a failure. Tell him you have inadvertently seen he is taking Mounjaro and tell him you are proud of him to trying to improve is health and ask what can you do to support him. Assure him you will not tell anyone else if he wants to keep it private, but well done.

#2 Don't tell him you know and leave him to let you know if/when he feels ready (and when he does do #1), but armed with the knowledge that he is treating his obesity tell him you notice how well he is doing losing weight, congratulate him, tell him you want to support him and work out healthier family meals you can eat together at least a few times a week with perhaps some small compromises on both sides.

Personally I'd do #1

You are not a mounjaro user so irrelevant.

@justasking111 I’ve been taking Mounjaro for two years, I don’t have temper tantrums, mood swings or take food that has been allocated for another purpose. My DP also knows I’m taking Mounjaro, and is supportive. No one else has been told though as I don’t discuss my medical decisions or my weight with other people.

Your DH is behaving oddly and it’s nothing to do with the medication.

2 years on, no mood swings here (beyond normal life). I do sometimes crave chicken though, but I wouldn’t eat someone else’s!

I can't imagine any healthy partnership where one would not know that the other is taking weight loss injections, still less one where they have been prescribed by a GP.

I can't imagine being a partner finding out about it and deciding not to talk about it either.

I've been on Mounjaro for just over two years, have lost six stone and experienced quite bad gastro side effects so kept my dose low - I'm still only on 5mg.

I have kept it secret from friends and extended family, though I'm sure people can guess how I've lost the weight. I would never keep it secret from my husband, and on any threads here I've been on where someone wants to use it secretly, they are always advised to tell their partner - severe side effects are rare but do happen and as a safety measure your spouse should be able to tell doctors what medication you're on. Plus it's obvious anyway.

I have not experienced any mood swings, nor have I seen anyone talk about mood swings on any of the support threads I've been on here and on Reddit.

For me, the advantage of MJ is that I don't have to drastically restrict my diet - I eat carbs and all veg as well as red and white meat and fish, I eat dairy. But I eat moderate portions and I do a lot of exercise.

So your husband's experience doesn't chime with me, OP, and it seems like he's doing it in a way that really doesn't suit him and doesn't sound sustainable. And no matter how sick or hungry he feels, he shouldn't take it out on you. Dishonesty and unpleasantness aren't caused by taking Mounjaro, they're caused by being a dishonest or unpleasant person - unless he has good reason to think you would be cruel and unsupportive if he confided in you? That would be the only situation in which I would advise someone not to tell their partner about taking WLIs, but would also raise some questions about the relationship in the first place.

Two issues here

1- he is helping himself to the food you bought for your own dinners. That’s not ok and no you don’t have to just be grateful he isn’t a twat atm because he is eating more.
I would tell him you noticed and it would have been nice if he had asked first! If it happens again, I’d be more curt.

2- the MJ.
At the end of the day, he hasn’t told you he is using it. I’m not quite sure why you’re supposed to give him some slack for his temper for something you’re not supposed to know.
fwiw I’ve been on MJ. I haven’t had any mood swings but I have had nausea etc…. This is always due to increasing doses too quickly, often in a bid to loose the weight quicker.
The fact he hasn’t taken the dose last Friday is imo even more worrying if he is actually just going cold Turkey and stopping because he has reached his target weight. He’ll just put the weight back in pretty quickly (being there, done that).
But as he hasn’t told you, you can’t ‘help’ him, advise or support. That’s what he chose to do 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

I’ve been on it for a couple of months and haven’t had any mood swings. I’ve told my partner but not anyone else. Sounds like steroids to me.

I have been taking Mounjaro for months and I have not turned into a dick.

I’m a woman and Mounjaro user. Whilst obese, I’ve not been prescribed for weight loss but rather for other off-label stuff but that’s by the bye as side effects are the same irrespective. I’m on a high dose and can say you are talking a whole lot of rubbish regarding the side effects and are making excuses for your DH being a garden variety cunt.

Why don’t you eat chicken?

I do eat chicken, never ending! But only my own!

Ok, but you've got a bunch of MJ users telling you that shitty mood swings and behaving like an arse are not our experience, nor that of other people we've all interacted with in various threads. But you're preferring Google as a source.

I didn't tell my husband when I first went on it but that lasted less than a week. 😅 His only negative reaction was being puzzled that I didn't tell him upfront. After that he was delighted and supportive.

What on earth? And why is is a secret from his own wife? This is not ok and I think you know it.

You are both weird.
Tell him you know, support him, maybe plan a shopping trip together, so both of your needs are met?

I am a MJ user as I said. I don't tell many people unless they ask outright. But I would never attempt to keep it from my immediate family I live with. Especially my husband as I don't keep any secrets from him at all. Secrets damage intimacy.

Even people I don't tell I assume know since I have lost a lot quite quickly. I assume they also know and respect that I have no desire to discuss my eating or body with them!

I use MJ. I don’t hate men. Mood swings aren’t a side effect. Your husband is odd and unpleasant.

It’s not different. It’s weird for anyone not to tell their husband or wife they are taking it. The only person who knew I took it was my husband.

but you are not an MJ user? You are the wife of a man who, for whatever reason is being nasty to you. I don't think anybody should have to be grateful because a partners "mood swings have abated, making him easier to live with" unless its a subject that both have been honest about and its being properly dealt with.

But how do you know it's Mounjaro? He could have any number of medical conditions causing him to lose weight. If his doctor appointments are on the calendar why don't you ask him what he's going to the doctor for?

I wonder if the mood swings are because of his bizarre diet, this with MJ, food noise etc.

Also find it bizarre as to why he hasn't told you hes on it.

If he loves garlic so much, the whole "nothing that grows underground" is a bit bollocks. If it just means no root veg, then why not say that? Peanuts also develop underground. Are they off the menu?