People saying I've lost enough weight...how to respond

[Fatmumslim01]

So I'm 11 months Into mounjaro, lost just over 4 stone (57 pounds) and gone from a BMI of 40 to 28! I would still like to lose another 2 stone which would put me at the top end of a healthy BMI.

In the past week I've had 3 different people comments that "surely I've lost enough weight" "why do I think I need to lose more" etc.

Clearly I'm still overweight with a BMI of 28.

How have people been responding to comments? Family are all very supportive I think they just don't think I need to lose anymore!

Just say erm ok love and ask them if they’re happy with their weight. They’ll soon change the subject.

I mean I posted about how i feel so why would that not be right?

That not everyone thinks like me (about the impact of rapid weight loss on their appearance/ ageing), that it’s not about looks for some people. But that isn’t what I think.

I’m well aware that not everyone cares about ageing or what they look like and had already stated this several times on the thread.

I made the point that weight loss can make people look older as a few extra pounds (not obesity) can help to plump out the face giving a more youthful look. I haven’t once said that people should care about the ageing affect or that they shouldn’t become a healthier weight because of it. Just that it’s a thing that happens that could cause someone to see a marked difference in your appearance.

Because lots of people prefer not to look years older than they are, (hence the multi-billion dollar anti-ageing industry) this notable difference in appearance may be the reason behind suggesting a person has ‘gone too far’ with their weight loss - because they now look much older.

You’re like a dog with a bone ain’t you. Read the room, we know, we just don’t care. We’d much rather be healthy. 5pages now of you repeating yourself, give it a rest!

Omg, how jealous are you.

Finally a bit of honesty! You get it and you don’t care - great. Felt like I was in a parallel universe for a minute there. Others seemed to be denying this was even a thing hence repeating myself for 5 pages.

My comment that started it was to the OP who I thought was asking a genuine question not seeking a blanket ‘you do you hun, ignore the haters’ response.

I genuinely look a lot younger, not that I have to explain myself.

buf as I’m fully hydrated, my blood tests all healthy now, my diet healthy and I work out six days a week, my skin looks good, my jawline is defined and my body looks toned and fit. You can see muscle definition and you can see I work out just by looking at me. I am not underweight, I’m bmi 2o and a dress size 8. And I look a healthy fit weight. I hit goal when I looked the best and focused on body recomp, ensuring to nuild muscle and tone.

I also dress very well, in flattering clothes, a whole new wardrobe in fact, thay are current, high end, and incredibly flattering, both in colour, quality and cut.

i genuinely like my appearance now. I don’t have Botox or fillers as quite frankly I don’t need it.

i looked much much older with a fat face, double chins, jowls,a fat belly, a big matronly bust, a wobbly arse and flabby thighs, I know you like a bit of that and feel very strongly its youthful, I assume as that’s what you look like, but it’s not for me. No one has a fat face without a fat body to go with it.

a healthy weight always looks more youthful, overweight and under weight is ageing, as is a poor lifestyle, poor clothing choices, poor hair care, poor diet.
, too much alcohol etc, I have no idea why you keep going on about no facial fat, no one is talking about under weight people.

so keep telling yourself it’s youthful to be overweight. Clinging to it like a consolation prize. I never did tell myself that when I was overweight, as quite frankly I didn’t, looking at the overall package, I could see myself, and I knew I didn’t and lying to myself would not change that.

But for me it’s not a thing, genuinely. Even if you don’t like it, it still doesn’t make it a thing, just because one person doesn’t care, doesn’t mean none of us do and everyone is lying. Have some sense.

i do care. If I thought for one moment I looked older I’d gain some weight, it’s not like I can’t do that, but I know factually I don’t, so I won’t.

Totally agree with all of this! I am not down as low as you yet but BMI 20/21 is my aim, I'm BMI 23 currently. I looked much older with extra weight, quite a few people have commented on that (very politely lol). I naturally have an oval face and high cheek bones so it was very ageing on me having weight round my face and chin. Eating clean and loads of water definitely helps also. I hated how frumpy middle aged I looked when I was heavier.

If someone is really underweight then it could be ageing but being a healthy weight really isnt. Ozempic face etc is really about those people who have not lost weight healthily or those who have gone way too far. The few people I know on it all look so much better and more youthful, none have gone crazy on it and are underweight.

I know I look younger now I’m slim. Agree with everyone that says a blobby swollen head, school m’am bosoms and a big fat belly makes you look older.

Today I had “you’re disappearing!”.

Yes, I’ve lost 5 stone but my BMI has gone down from 42 to 32 so I’ve still a way to go.

I just said “I wish” and legged it.

I’m the same curiously, I have an oval face and high cheek bones, I was quite shocked when I saw pics of myself when I was fat, my face was round, jowly and double chins, puffy, I kept telling myself it was the camera and I didn’t look like that.

im really pleased with the difference in my face, its taken me back years, i look like ne again and ive no jowls or double chin. My skin is clear I think due to lack of booze, a good diet and lots of water.

plus the drugs have so many health benefits.

i also used to wear a lot of black stretchy stuff, trying to hide the fat. Now I dress better, which in itself takes years off,

and finally just being a healthy weight means you’re healthier which is more youthful you can see the health,

I saw some candid photos of me playing sport and they were hideous, I can't wait to get some new pics and have that comparison. I also told myself it was a bad angle, and to be fair it was, however bad angle or not, I knew I needed to do something about it.

People have commented that I didnt have much to lose, but when youre short like me(5ft4) its a lot of weight to carry. I lived in baggy tops and now don't need to and I bloody love it. Couldn't hide my bloated face and I have hated every photo of me.

But the OP didn't ask you, or anyone else, about her face. She was asking for advice on how to respond to unwanted comments about her looks.

You jumped in with more unwanted comments about her looks. When people pointed out it was unnecessary and also hurtful, you repeated the same comments over and over and over again because you had to be 'honest'.

Of what?

Good lord. I was suggesting whether there might be any truth to the comments not just providing an echo chamber.
I’ve literally never seen the OP or any of you on the thread so how can I possibly make hurtful comments about your looks. I have no interest in doing so and no reason to either. I made general comments about rapid weight loss and its known ageing effects.

“Known ageing effects” - it doesn’t age you. It might make you look superficially older, facially, maybe.

There's a thread over here you might like

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/5492987-a-hill-you-will-die-on

If you want another perspective from someone who has never been overweight, sometimes being thin is not always what looks best or most attractive on a person. Its likely these comments are coming from people who think you looked better when you hit "x stone" but think "y stone" makes you look too skinny for your frame or build. At the end of the day they are judging on how you look but the important thing is how you feel and whether you feel good!

Ok you can have that one. I’m definitely talking about the visible signs of ageing, not biological age. I thought that was obvious but perhaps not.

I'm 44 and look much younger. Most people put me at early 30s and can't believe I have an 18 and 19 year old! I've lost 5.5 stone and I'm at the bottom end of a healthy BMI, however, I am tall and small frame and athletic looking as I lift heavy weights 5 times a week and do lots of yoga. When I was obese my boobs were enormous, belly and rolls, my face was so fat and round, no jaw line, no cheek bones, very inflamed and swollen looking all the time. There is no way I look older even at the bottom end of a healthy BMI. And most importantly I am healthier as well as looking healthier and younger.

Some people lack tact.
I lost a lot of weight through stress. I was already slim and healthy but a very stressful event lead to even more weight loss. I didn’t want to stop my exercise regime, that was a positive through all of the upheaval. Yet people told me to stop exercising, that I was too thin, was I well? Etc. well no I wasn’t well! But stopping exercising was hardly going to end the stress!

@Sugarnspicenallthingsnaice I actually saw that thread and thought the same thing! Believe it or not I’d not given the topic much thought until yesterday, I thought it was just something people accepted as true. I didn’t realise it would be at all controversial and doubt it would be on another part of the site where rapid weight loss isn’t so championed. But here we are.

Well done on your weight loss
I get the same. I have lost 5.5 stone. Had an extended FDL tummy tuck and arm lift to remove loose skin. I have a bmi of 24.
I get told all the time that I have lost enough weight and do not want to lose more as I am too thin.

these are the same people that never said I was too big and to lose weight when I was obese. They didn’t care as much then!!
just ignore them and do what you feel is right for you

It’s not controversial. The issue is you are not being logical.

no one is denying if someone has no facial fat it can be ageing. Can be, not is

however the op, and none of us, and most people using meds to lose weight, are not underweight, so it doesn’t apply. We still have facial fat.

facial fat if it’s on an overweight person, then its a head on a fat body and that is ageing, because people look at the whole person, not just the face. Only the person whose face it is looks at their own face in isolation. Everyone else takes on the whole.

a fat body be it big belly, boobs, bums, thighs etc, is incredibly ageing. A slim body is youthful

so keeping repeating your statement that it’s ageing and everyone knows it is simply illogical.

there is a period after significant loss someone’s face or body can look more saggy or wrinkled, but this tightens up over time.

and if you want evidence people who have lost the weight look much more youthful, pop over to Reddit, so many before and afters, and it is abundantly clear, the people look much more youthful.

a fat face does pad our wrinkles, but a fat face is not remotely youthful. And It is a fat face on top of a fat body.

and what are you jealous of, I’d bet good money, of people being slim,

edir to add, who is losing it rapidly? Most folks on the injections lose up to a couple of pounds a week, a steady healthy recommended weight loss. Go on any thread on here or Reddit and you will see thousands of people doing this.