People saying I've lost enough weight...how to respond

[Fatmumslim01]

So I'm 11 months Into mounjaro, lost just over 4 stone (57 pounds) and gone from a BMI of 40 to 28! I would still like to lose another 2 stone which would put me at the top end of a healthy BMI.

In the past week I've had 3 different people comments that "surely I've lost enough weight" "why do I think I need to lose more" etc.

Clearly I'm still overweight with a BMI of 28.

How have people been responding to comments? Family are all very supportive I think they just don't think I need to lose anymore!

I think that starts to become a factor when you're, like, over 85 or something.... possibly. I daresay you aren't!

Tell them your BMI is still high and your clinician advised to keep using the drugs until you reach a healthy weight. The drugs are there to support you until your lifestyle can sustain your healthy weight.

It’s probably the contrast in how you look - has it left you a bit saggy?! It can happen!

Also you can point out (or relevant) that fat is actually quite light so whilst your bmi is lower than it was, your weight is still mostly fat and not much muscle, so it’s worse than it appears.

Tell them in 2026 your goal is to do couch to 5k and to hit the gym hard, tone up and build muscle mass (which will make you heavier, but healthier).

@CanIRetirePlease why do you assume the OP needs to do all those things and hasn’t already? I have completed C25K in 2025 for example, and now run several times a week. You talk as if people who lose weight are ignorant about the need for exercise and maintaining strength. Curious as to why that’s the assumption?

Why on gods earth does she need to do all that and tell you if she’s saggy, good grief, all she needs to say is for health reasons I need to go to a healthy weight; or just thanks and say nothing.

some folks are so obsessed with other folks weight.

This is exactly how I feel too.

Haha no, am 45! I might wonder if she had a point if I was skin and bone but I am absolutely not. Still plenty to lose and still be a healthy weight

BMI by itself should not be the main decider for when you stop losing weight. Look at everything together and not in isolation . Are you weight training? A big part of this loss would be muscle so are you working on that. And while really no one’s opinion really should hold water for you , make sure you are doing it right .

It’s very weird when it comes from people who are slimmer. I think it must be a shock to see someone change so quickly and they somehow think the person who has lost weight is smaller than they are?
I remember people saying it when I was losing all my weight and I couldn’t understand.

What a non issue. The comments you say in your original post are clearly positive. If you respond as some other posters have suggested you will just make yourself look like a dick

Was just going to say his. You don’t have to answer or justify, they won’t change their mind so it’s pointless. If they don’t take the hint id be really tempted to make a random personal comment about them.

Of course people should always be tactful and respectful in their comments. But yes sometimes comments will seem out of nowhere to the person receiving them, but the person saying them could’ve been thinking these things for a while.

If you feel that you’re ok and managing things sensibly the concern will seem unwarranted but with certain things an outside perspective can sometimes help see things differently - for example have you been in a situation before where a friend seems to be drinking too much? Or where something is just off and a conversation reveals there’s more beneath the surface?

I’ve learned things about friends before from prompting these seemingly out of the blue conversations - e.g. their over-exercising, reliance on alcohol, post natal anxiety. Maybe some people would think I’ve overstepped in asking questions but I won’t mind my own business with a friend if I think something might be wrong.

I don’t mean hugely overweight but if bmi is the measure there’s only a few pounds between the upper end of ideal and lower end of overweight. I don’t think this would be instantly noticeable to everyone. Even to the person who’s gained weight, a few pounds can creep on without really realising until you step on the scales.

And I don’t think weight loss has to be extreme to be ageing. I think slimmer faces once they’ve lost the plumpness of youth do show more visible signs of ageing. That’s why some people start getting injectables to achieve a plumper more youthful look. It’s the face v ass dilemma people talk about. There is absolutely nothing wrong with ageing but it’s not uncommon for people to try to slow down the visible signs.

Try "mind your own business.....?" 🤔

Oh the old 'gaunt' chestnut. I'll tick that off my WLI bingo card... surprised nobody has mentioned the Osbornes yet.

I hope this thread has taught you that next time you should keep your opinions to yourself.

I just disagree with this this. No one looks at a face isolation, i personally didn’t look younger over weight, i look younger a healthy weight and I think everyone does.

I’ve never ever thought, jowls, double chins and a fat face is youthful. I’ve never looked at a fat person or myself fat and thought fuck that knocks years off , because it’s not just the face, it’s the matronly bust atop a fat tummy,

ive always thought a healthy weight is much more youthful, the flat stomach, pert bust, no double chins or jowls.

now sure if someone is underweight it is very ageing and doesn’t look good. And the same for over weight.

but I’ve never ever seen this whole thing of being fat makes us look younger, I just don’t see thst in real life. We just look fat.

Did you tell people when you started the injections? I think when you announce that you’re starting a weight loss ‘journey’ people then feel emboldened to comment on it and offer their opinions.

Weight loss and appearances are something women really bond over which makes me deeply uncomfortable.

I’m obese which I’m only just starting to tackle but I’ve already made the decision to not discuss it with anyone and will shut down any comments.

I don’t agree. Fat plumps out the skin so fatter faces are less likely to look wrinkled and saggy - two clear signs of ageing. The phrase Ozempic face has been coined because it’s a common phenomenon.

I don’t think people should stay fat for this reason, obviously it’s much better to have a healthier body and feel better with a possible trade off of looking a little older in the face.

But depending on where you carry your weight a few extra pounds (not excessively overweight that you’re talking about) can look more youthful. I don’t think this is even controversial it’s just a fact for the vast majority of people. And again, there is nothing wrong with ageing it’s a natural process but a lot of people prefer to slow the appearance of it where they can.

Have we added ‘you’ll put it all back on when you stop jabbing’ to the bingo card? I had that one last week.

Thank you, but I’ll stop when I’m ready thank you

I couldn’t care less if a “few extra pounds” makes other people think I look more youthful. I’m nearly 50, I don’t want to look youthful - I am happy to look my age. I do want to be well within the healthy weight for my height, for the sake of my health and wellbeing. Staying overweight for the sake of appearance is not on my agenda at all. I wonder if men are as often told to consider the “ageing” effect on their faces from being in the healthy weight range and to stick with being a bit overweight. Just so that their faces please other people.

I just said I am still not in the healthy BMI range and that my waist/height ratio is too high. It surprises people but people have definitely lost sight of what is a normal healthy weight any more. A friend of mine whose is on them too is still over BMI 30, I wouldnt have thought this, I would say overweight but not really that much. We have become used to people being heavier.

It really surprises me now when I look back at people who I thought were on the heavy side years ago but now I look back at photos and they look normal to me!

I am not sure it always come from a good place when people make these comments, they are almost always from people who are thinner!

It's interesting how naturally slim women who've been that way their whole lives don't get lectured about how they should put a few pounds on to look younger in the face.

One, people don’t have the comparison if they’ve always been slimmer. That’s just their face and no one’s seen it looking any different.

Two, I think they do. It’s a common trope that as you get older you have to choose between your body or your face, with the suggestion that there’s a trade off between an older face& slimmer body V more youthful face and larger body. Have you not seen all the side by side comparisons of celebrities on ozempic looking much older and the headline that they’ve ‘gone too far’?

Exactly! IME it generally makes people look younger, extra weight on face and tummy is definitely ageing, particularly past 40.

All this obsession with looks. No, I don't watch or read the kind of drivel that does side by side comparisons of celebrity faces. I believe you, but my algorithms know not to feed me that shit.

Are you not picking up the undercurrents in this thread? Women don't like having their looks scrutinised or criticised. Women losing weight don't want to hear 'tropes' about their supposedly awful gaunt scraggy faces, it's mostly untrue and hurtful either way. But here you are determined to double down and keep repeating them.