People saying I've lost enough weight...how to respond

[Fatmumslim01]

So I'm 11 months Into mounjaro, lost just over 4 stone (57 pounds) and gone from a BMI of 40 to 28! I would still like to lose another 2 stone which would put me at the top end of a healthy BMI.

In the past week I've had 3 different people comments that "surely I've lost enough weight" "why do I think I need to lose more" etc.

Clearly I'm still overweight with a BMI of 28.

How have people been responding to comments? Family are all very supportive I think they just don't think I need to lose anymore!

Even if you’re on a weight loss journey primarily for health reasons, I think a lot of people also enjoy the look of being slimmer. It’s a bit disingenuous to suggest looks are totally irrelevant for most people.

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to look good and I believe we can look good at any age but most people don’t want to look years older than they actually are. Some couldn’t give a toss, plenty do. I’ve said multiple times there’s nothing wrong with ageing and it’s normal. I’ve also said that being a healthier weight is more important than looking younger. If none of this is a consideration for you then that’s absolutely fine.

It’s one point I made out of several that has been quoted a few times on the thread so is getting a disproportionate amount of airtime. I’m not ‘doubling down’ to be unkind, I’m just being honest about something I know to be true for most people.

Maybe you haven’t seen any of these posts or articles about slimmer older faces but there are millions out there, I’m not a lone voice saying something outlandish.

It’s unlikely a friend is going to tell you face to face that you look much older since losing weight but that was one suggestion for where the ‘you’ve gone to far’ comment might be coming from.

Look I think we can all agree to disagree, if you want to keep telling yourself fat people look younger, then just continue to do so. Honestly whatever gets you through the day,

I think you might be finding it hard to believe we dont all think like you. I don’t give a fuck what I look like. Sure I enjoy being slimmer but how I look has never been a factor. I looked utterly fucking awful as a fat person and I don’t look much better as a thinner one. I am a lot happier and healthier though and for me that’s what matters.

I’m sure you do look better, and I absolutely get your point, and people like that poster can’t grasp losing weight is for health reasons first and foremost, that obesity is the biggest killer in society. For them it’s all about looks, and i suspect envy over slim women,trying to tell themselves they look better.

i do care what i look like, and the improvement in my appearance has been the cherry on top of the fabulous health results I’ve had.

I didn’t perceive myself to look good fat. I’ve never ever met anyone in real life who proclaims someone to look years younger as they are fat as this poster is claiming. Fat is not the desirable youthful state they are trying to proclaim it to be,

does fat pad out facial wrinkles, sure, but it also gives you a puffy face, jowls and double chins, a lack of definition, and cheekbones missing in action. It’s also atop a fat body, none of us are floating heads.

a healthy weight, looks the most youthful, And I do feel it’s a bit of self soothing for those going on about how it’s ageing.

It’s not ageing if a healthy weight, what’s ageing is over or under weight.

I think people are taken aback by the change in your appearance (like when someone who has always worn glasses get contact lenses). Scottish actor Gregor Fisher (aka Rab C Nesbitt) says he is no longer recognised because he has lost weight and he was a well kent face in Glasgow

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/ckglz8eg33zo

Whether he looks older or not is a bit irrelevant, to me. He has reversed his diabetes so will undoubtedly live longer and better. People can be very superficial about looks.

I’m not sure he’s the best example, the man’s now 72, but he looks fab for his age, he is never going to look like he did in the 80s and 90s, given it was 30-40 years ago, and he was in his 30s when he played rab c Nesbit.

Ok, I think I’ve been really clear but you keep misinterpreting my words as they’re not what you want to hear so maybe that’s for the best.

Agree the glasses is a good example.

Yes he’s done wonders for his health which I’m sure we can all agree is fantastic and is the most important thing but he also looks different and older. That’s not a reason against him losing weight it’s just a natural consequence. Why do we have to pretend otherwise? And if appearance doesn’t matter at all then what difference does it make?

Is anyone actually reading what I wrote or just too busy getting offended by it?!

I’ve said that

• health is the most important thing
• ageing is normal anyway
• not everyone cares how they look and if they don’t care then that’s fine for them
• I am not talking about someone who is hugely overweight, just with a bit more fullness in the face.

Glad that you’re happier and healthier.

We all read what you said and said repeatedly. I suggest you go back and read it yourself.

Yes, I read what you wrote, hence my response.

How about “I want to be as healthy as possible, and in order to do that, I need to lose a bit more weight. This is important for me, and I would like your support”, @Fatmumslim01. If they carry on nagging, you can say “Don’t you want me to be as healthy as possible??”

He is 72 now of course he is going to look different from the Rab C Nesbitt heyday of 30 to 40 years ago. What you should be posting (or the BBC) is a comparison between now and maybe 4 years or so ago when he started his weight loss journey.

forgot to add. It’s great he has done for health reasons and is open about that and quite rightly that should be celebrated

It drives me mad. I’ve gone from 13 stone 12 to 10 stone 1 in 9 months. My BMI is now 24.6. I would like to get to 9 stone 5. People are like ‘oooh surely you don’t want to lose anymore!’. Yes actually I do….it’s my business. Funny how they weren't interested when I was obese with a BMI of 33.

You can’t be serious. He’s 72. Of course he doesn’t look in his 30s when he was rab c Nesbit.

I mean seriously, that’s your issue, the drugs don’t make people in their 70s look in their 3os?

😂

Oh give over you’re being deliberately obtuse. Are you annoyed about potentially looking old now you’ve lost weight? I can’t see why you’re taking such issue with everything I’ve said.

Ok well I can’t say it any clearer than that so there’s no helping you I’m afraid.

Gosh you have a real problem, don’t you?

I think I will mange to muddle along through my life without your help anyway, so don’t give it a second thought.

If you are happy and want to lose more, why does it bother you what others think. If I was really happy, it wouldn’t bother me- I’d just laugh it off.
DH has friends that use it (male) honestly they’ve lost so much weight so fast they look saggy skinned, frail, ill and ancient. BUT they’re very happy and feel better- so who are we to judge. I couldn’t care less, haven’t said anything to them it’s none of my business .

For the gaslighters pretending this doesn’t exist 🫠
You not caring about it doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen.

It’s because they are used to seeing you big, it can be a shock. My family are always saying I’m small now - absolutely not, I’m 13 stone and a size 12, however compared to being 24 stone and a size 24 I seem small to them!

Yes, it’s very tedious trying to have a conversation with someone who is being so wilfully ignorant and refuses to acknowledge reality if it doesn’t chime with their personal opinion.

Jesus babe, away and get yourself a wee cup of tea.

Oh for goodness sake. No one needs an AI summary screenshot that's flagged as a sensitive image.

The link that is referenced specifically states this is colloquial term, not a medical diagnosis or indeed any kind of actual medical issue. It also is very clear that perceptions of face changes can happen after any kind of weight loss. Yet only WLI seem to create a trendy buzzword name like Mounjaro or Ozempic face and all the concern trolling about it.

Yes, no one is "gaslighting" that facial changes don't happen, it would be bloody weird if you lost weight but maintained a fat face and double chins Weight loss is not excessively ageing in terms of facial appearance but people are not used to you looking different and so it may be more noticeable. It is not a sign that you have lost too much weight or are in some way unhealthy. Especially if your BMI is still in the overweight range.

I think I am allowed to say that I don't look tired, haggard, saggy, sunken, hollow, or whatever other unpleasant term people want to use. That's my personal experience, obviously, not a universal comment.

People who say they are "concerned" about your weight loss based on the appearance of your face are buying into a misogynistic society that values women's appearance over anything else about them, including their health and wellbeing. Anyone who thinks that's an acceptable reason to make a comment is wrong.

You can be as patronising as you like. It doesn’t make you right.