People saying I've lost enough weight...how to respond

[Fatmumslim01]

So I'm 11 months Into mounjaro, lost just over 4 stone (57 pounds) and gone from a BMI of 40 to 28! I would still like to lose another 2 stone which would put me at the top end of a healthy BMI.

In the past week I've had 3 different people comments that "surely I've lost enough weight" "why do I think I need to lose more" etc.

Clearly I'm still overweight with a BMI of 28.

How have people been responding to comments? Family are all very supportive I think they just don't think I need to lose anymore!

I always think a fair response is to ask them why they didn’t feel it was okay to comment when you were an unhealthy weight and prompt you to eat healthier/exercise more as being overweight is a proven killer ?

I've had loads of people tell me I've lost enough. Several people have told me I'm tiny lol. Wish I was. My bmi is still 26.5 and I am a size 12/ so hardly tiny. I am happy at a size 12 but would still like to lose another 7-10lbs to be a healthy bmi.

There are smaller people in my family and nobody tells them they are too small or comments on their size at all.

Yes, I am much smaller than I used to be and I am very pleased with that. I'm only aiming at a bmi of about 24 so hardly planning to overdo it.

I don't really know what their motivation is. It's been a mixed bunch of people. At least 2 who told me I was tiny were being complimentary I think as they are nice people who are genuinely pleased for me. On the other hand my mil who likes to put both feet in her mouth is probably just being tactless as usual. My sil, has put on loads of weight recently so I think she may just be jealous but she's an ok person really so maybe she was just trying to be nice.

Regardless, it's nothing to do wit them. When I've lost enough, I'll know and decide to stop for myself.

I have said to people when they’ve said the same, that I’m still obese/overweight. Which usually surprises people, but I think most people are very bad at judging it by eye tbh.

I’ve lost around 5 stone without WLI, going from BMI 41.5 to 30, give or take a bit. I’ve been stable-ish for about a year. While I was still losing, I did start getting people saying surely you’ve lost enough, which frustrated me mightily, because I was clearly still overweight, bordering obese.

In the end I settled on something vague like “I think I’ll know when I’m done” or “I’m focussing on eating healthily to keep my diabetes under control”.

At the end of the day, it’s nobody’s business, except possibly your doctor’s.

Hmm. I do think that it’s easy to get obsessed with BMI, which is an extremely crude way of measuring what’s healthy.

I have had people grab my waist. I have had people ask why I am losing weight.i have had people ask if I need to go to the GP. I just smile and say how wonderful I feel and thanks for their concern….

Tell them to mind their own business. You have done well, but you’re still overweight. Some people like fat people to stay in their lanes.

I’ve had the same. Depending on who it is and what mood I’m in, I might tell them I’m nearly 14 stone, or I’m a size 16, or I’m still borderline obese according to BMI. And they say, “Oh, you can’t be anywhere near that.” So, do they think I’m lying or something?

I had this when I was losing weight. I would respond with 'well i am still technically overweight so wanting to get into a healthy BMI'. Then ignore them if they start saying bmi isnt accurate blah blah. Its a useful measure for most people without alot of muscle mass
Well done and keep going

You’re unwittingly in a game of weight loss injection bingo. You don’t apply to play, and every fucker thinks they can join in and have an opinion. See also:

You’ll fall through a grid
Anymore and you’ll look ill
I think that’s enough now
You don’t need to lose any more
You looked fine before
You’re too old to lose anymore
Are you ill
Are you buying those jabs off the internet
Do you need a doctor

😴 😴 😴

Yes, I have had the “BMI is nonsense” comments too, but it’s a simple ratio that is mathematically easily understood and represents a reasonable measure that correlates to body fat. My BMI is just on 25 at the moment, but I know my waist is still too large compared to my height and hips, so it is definitely appropriate for me to lose more weight.

Yes to bingo! Also add in "can't you eat less and move more" like I haven't tried that for the past 20 years. Mounjaro has fixed whatever was in my that was broken and I never want to come off. The freedom in my head from the shakles of food noise and the urge to eat is quite frankly a miracle!

At the same time…… I do wonder whether it is realistic, or necessary, for those of us who have been morbidly obese (my top weight was 22 stone, BMI 48.5) to aim for a normal weight.

Maybe it’s a reaction to the fact I have got so far but don’t seem to be going any further…. but my quality of life has improved so much, I really can’t point to anything wrong with my life that losing further weight would noticeably improve.

I mean - I’d love to have a flat stomach, toned limbs and perfect skin - but I’m 62 and have been obese since my teens, so that’s not happening. I can now run, jump, sit in chairs with arms, get up off the floor, buy clothes anywhere, have huge energy, have got off all my diabetes meds and am now back in the prediabetic range….. so how much better can it get?

That you are happy tha way doesn’t mean that some of us need to stay obese or overweight. Op, I’ve had all these comments now I’ve lost almost 8st, at bmi 25, but I won’t stop until im
bmi 23. A normal bmi. Keep going and ignore them all.

@PuzzledObserverI was 22st and BMI 50 when I started. I’m now 10st 12lbs and BMI 25. I am still losing weight, slower for sure but still losing. I don’t want a flat stomach, toned limbs or perfect skin. I want to be solidly in the healthy range for the sake of my blood pressure, my fitness, my running speed, to not get that look from doctors for being fat, and to be honest just to be a healthy weight for as long as possible in my adult life. Having been obese since childhood I think my body probably needs a long period of time at a stable healthy weight.

Tell them to mind their own business. You aren’t public property, and they shouldn’t be commenting on your weight. “I would be SO grateful if you would keep your comments about my body to yourself.”

I make it a rule never to comment on someone’s else weight, unless they bring it up first. It’s far too personal and you never know what’s going on in someone’s life. You could just say that to them!

Thats an amazing achievement OP!
Clearly you must look very different and maybe people havent got their head round the new you.
Or like pp said they are telling you to stay in your lane!!
I am on mounjaro and lost about 2.5 stone. BMI is 25.8.
I would like to get it down to 24 or 23.
This last bit is really slow- well for me being short snd menopausal its snails pace.
But i just say i just want to loss a bit more so im in the healthy bmi range as at the moment i still in the overweight range.
This usually leads to people telling me Imdefinately not overweight , tbh mounjaro is SO expensive and this last bit so painfully slow i am tempted to think shall i just stop here?! I am happy with how i look, weight wise at least!!
But i want to keep going to a healthy bmi - which will hopefully give me a bit of wiggle room when i start to come off MJ-although possibly i will stay in a low maintenance dose.
Anyway ignore and carry on and well done

It's perception. You are being compared to what you were before, so you will "seem skinny" compared to your old self. People who have always been slim, just look their normal selves because there isn't a comparison.

Similar to someone who looks "weird" when they take off their glasses, despite that being their normal face.

It's all a personal choice. I lost 35lbs and was at the very top end of healthy BMi, size 12. Looked and felt much better. But decided to keep going in a deficit and working hard at the gym, lost another 15lbs and loved how I looked so much more. I still dont have a flat tummy but I lost so much more of the fluff and most importantly to me, my double chin. I found a weight where my face just looks great in photos no matter the angle and I know I can walk into pretty much any shop and a size 10 will fit me, and look good. Ive actually put a few kg of muscle on over the last year, and lost a few more kg of fat, so tightened up more and feel even better now.
My belly fat was the last to go (and still hasn't gone completely) and I can't get over how good it feels not having to cover my belly with my arms all the time as I was just so self conscious of it. So I think it depends where you carry your weight and how comfortable you are in yourself

I totally agree about the personal choice. I wasn’t meaning to imply that people shouldn’t aim for a lower weight if that’s what they want to do….. more we shouldn’t assume, for ourselves or anyone else, that if we don’t reach a normal BMI that we have somehow failed.

To put it another way - if someone has lost enough weight to completely transform their life, it would be a shame if they were so focussed on the remaining stone or two that they couldn’t enjoy all they have gained.

I have lost almost six stone since Nov 24. I got lots of comments around the three / four stone mark to which my throwback was that they were comparing me to when I was severely obese with potential health issues linked to my weight. Still got the odd comment at 5 stone but now at 6 they don’t comment anymore as their perception of me has changed to a very active person who is always out walking/running which 70% of them are not. I now play the toning up card.

The longer you are slim the more they will forget how big you once were. I have kept MJ a secret, probably a couple of others in my different groups who are on it but they say nothing but occasionally I might say it’s not only me who has lost weight look at Maggie who is now swimming 60 lengths 3 times a week good for etc blah blah blah

I take it as a backhanded compliment and depending on who asks say one or more of -

I’m still a size 16 on top, want to lose the belly fat for my health
I’m still overweight
Its slowing down now so will stabilise at a healthy weight soon
I’m bigger than you!
I’m not anywhere near underweight, or even healthy, it’s just taking you time to adjust to the change in me

One of the most bizarre comments I got was a friend saying that it was important I don't get too small in case I develop a serious illness. If I have excess weight to lose apparently I will last longer. So I think she was suggesting I stop around the just overweight point enable me to...not die too quickly if I get this imaginary illness? Couldn't really compute spending the rest of my life bigger than I want to be, and having the potential health implications of carrying excess weight, for that just in case scenario. The weight I settled at still isnt low - BMI is 23 and have good muscle density so think I will be fine 🤣

Just say you need to get to a healthy weight for health reasons. The advent of these drugs has shown many people don’t think of the health impacts of being obese or overweight, for them it’s about vanity and appearance. And the people who tell you this, are some of these people, as this journey is about health. Appearance is the cherry on top.

i am a bmi 20, been here about a year, originally bmi 32, for a while I got comments on being tiny or thin, but as I immediately went into body recomp when I hit goal,to rebuild any muscle mass lost, even though I focused on it in the weight loss phase, my body has sort of filled out, any crepy skin has disappeared, and now the negative comments have stopped, people are just used to this is what I look like, and I get compliments.

just keep going till you get to where you feel is right, they do adjust. They say it takes seeing someone 3 times to get used to your new appearance. I’m fairly sure most people struggle to picture what I looked like, even I’m surprised when I look at the before pics.