My mother in law has finally gone home. I'm here for a rant. Apologies and please just don't read if you can't bear the critical tone.
So much food was brought or sent in advance. And all rich, fatty, sweet, indulgent stuff, in huge quantities. It's all out on the table at every meal, and there is endless "What can I pass you, what are you having next, do try a piece of this" comments, which mean I was relying very heavily on willpower all the time. Normally, I can think carefully in advance what I want to eat and take that, judging my own (reduced) appetite and stop when I am full. I still did that, but I felt like I was being rude by perpetually saying no. I definitely had some of what was on offer and enjoyed plenty of treats, but I was always on the backfoot.
The quantities (of everything except the vegetables) were too much and there was always pressure to finish it up. No one needs that much food. As a family, we are very experienced hosts and always serve plenty. We all love cooking, no one goes hungry, and there are usually leftovers which we are happy to eat the next day or freeze. However, we don't push food on people. The DC (now adults or nearly) know to eat until they are full and then stop. We are all (now - me included!) tall, do moderate exercise, and are a healthy weight.
Bear in mind that this is our house. My DH and DC and I don't behave like this normally. DH is probably well conditioned from years of childhood to not mind for a few days, but even he looks forward to a some plain lettuce leaves when she has gone. And she's in the background all the time, criticizing and trying to dominate and control every decision, particularly around food. Thankfully, the DC ignore her when she tells them that their portions are too small or tuts when they choose to skip breakfast.
And then there are the weight comments. "But Owl, you've lost LOTS of weight". "A little." "No, LOTS. Are you ok?". "Yes, I'm fine. I've taken up running." "Well, if you're sure you're ok." "Yes, feeling happy and healthy." But then she sits and huffs and puffs when I add a salad bowl to the lunch table where the cheese mountain awaits, or looks disapproving when I go out for a run.
I do love her, she is very kind and generous, but, honestly, it has been a very long few days. Rant over. Feeling better already. Thanks for listening if you got this far.