Disappointed no one has noticed

[BlueRuggg]

I’m back from maternity leave and have lost 4 stone (6 stone since the day I gave birth) and no one has commented. Do you think people are just being polite? I’ve went from 19 stone to 15 stone so it is noticeable. I’ve worked so hard to lose this weight and not even my partner or family have noticed/said anything

Hats off to you OP for managing it with a baby! That is such an achievement and will help your postnatal health /recovery really positively. I tried a couple of times with slimming world pre-jabs but didn’t get anywhere, was just too exhausted looking after a baby and toddler. Finding it a bit easier now DC are a bit older and like you say the effects of the WLI with not constantly thinking about food helps. I am hopeful 2026 will be my goal year! :) x

Yeah I’m not sure about your partner and raising an eyebrow at these comments of he just loves you so much he can’t see four stone weight loss. My arse. He can see it for some reason he doesn’t wish to validate it. Can’t eve get my head round someone thinking that makes them lucky. My husband loves ne, we have been together over 3o years, he loves me whatever, but he can see it and he compliments me on the hard work it takes.

as for colleagues, that’s different, I’d not comment on some one coming back from maternities weight, no way no how.

It’s a tricky thing. I wanted people to comment but then after a while got sick of it. The golden time was months after I got to my target weight as it was just accepted.
but I know quite a few people who hate others looking at their bodies and commenting

People can’t win. You mention it and it could cause massive offence.

Yes this. I wouldn’t comment. I’ve lost a whole bunch of weight before and the more people who tell you you look much better the most you think that you must’ve looked awful before, and that’s a killer if you then put the weight back on (like I did).

People are too scared to mention probably

I think the general consensus is that it's rude to comment on someone's weight positive or negative. Plenty here don't want to talk about their weight loss in real life because it's nobody's business.

I would never in a million years comment on someone losing weight! I personally think it’s quite offensive and wouldnt want anyone commenting on my body.

Exactly! Older generations Ive found (like my mil) always comments and expects comments. To her weight loss is always positive but it just makes me think 1. You think slimmer is always better when Ive actually lost weight due to illness and 2. You thought I looked worse before and noticed I was fat.

To me someone’s size doesnt matter to me at all.

However I can see it’s a big thing for you op and you want a congratulations so congrats!

Really? Even if a good friend tells you that they’ve been trying hard, you wouldn’t say anything if they lost some weight?

Or their partner, who then even tries on clothes to show how much, they’d just look the other way? How odd.

My partner didn’t look the other way. He just said he can’t tell. But if he or my friends told me they were trying to lose weight and I saw that they had, I would tell them that I think they had. I don’t think it’s rude

Ok yeah he’s just being unkind.

If they had told me about it and made it clear they wanted praise I might. Generally I’d just say someone looked nice and not focus on body weight.

Well done! Try not to be too disheartened, in my experience people tend to only notice large body, medium body, small body. Have you heard of the paper towel effect? It’s the idea that you can’t really tell when the roll is full if you take off a few sheets of paper, but when you get down to the end it’s really noticeable. Definitely something I’ve noticed with my weight loss journey, nobody noticed until I was near the end! X

I’d say if they’ve realised they might think it’s due to unhappy reasons like illness or ill baby or stress or something. So they don’t want to mention it.

It’s also really really unacceptable to comment on a colleagues body or weight at work… ever.

It would be nice to have some good feedback. But these days it’s just not so socially acceptable to pass comment on other peoples’ weight. Focus on how you’re feeling about these changes and don’t wait for any comments for validation. Society has slowly changed so they might not be forthcoming.

If you were large before it really isn’t that noticable to a lot of people until you lose a significant amount.

If I did notice I would still never ever comment on someone else’s weight - I wouldn’t want it to be misconstrued that I think they looked fat or bad before ! If they bring it up in conversation and said - for example - they’ve lost 3 stone I would congratulate them ofcourse.

But other than that no !

It’s not the done thing to comment on weight anymore. I’d happily tell people I’m on the injections, but hardly anyone, unless really close to me, has asked about my weightloss until I got to 4 stone off.

i also find that I’m a bit of a yo yo dieter and have lost and gained the same 2 or 3 stone over the years. So I suppose people are used to seeing me at different sizes.

I have a theory that once I got to under 11 stone, I went from ‘fat person’ to ‘slim person’ in people’s eyes, and suddenly it was fine to comment! (I’m very short btw)

Do you imagine they magically melt fat or something? Because they don't. You have to change your mindset, eat less, eat differently and move more. Hard work like losing weight has always been.

I think what I’m trying to say, badly, is that people might be noticing, but also assume you’re still on your weightloss journey.

it’s a bit of a tricky conversation to navigate with you right now. They might ask how much more you have to lose and risk offending you. They might worry that telling you how well you look slimmer, while acknowledging you still want to lose more, means you don’t look ‘good’ yet.

Once you become a slim person, it’s okay to talk about the weightloss as everyone is safe in the knowledge that you’re happy with how you look, right now.

That’s my theory anyway.

Ofcourse they make it easier - they make you want to eat less. Thats the whole point.

You do though still have to eat a balanced diet and likely exercise as well so there is still effort involved. It’s just somewhat easier than without them.

The whole point is you don’t change your mindset. Your brain chemistry is altered for you. They can work wonders and I think they are largely a good thing. But you’re misrepresenting them here.

Why is her husband a dick and a liar?

If a colleague of mine had just been off on maternity and returned to work the last thing I’d do is comment on her weight. She’s just had a baby inside her so of course she was a lot bigger the last time I saw her!