Disappointed no one has noticed

[BlueRuggg]

I’m back from maternity leave and have lost 4 stone (6 stone since the day I gave birth) and no one has commented. Do you think people are just being polite? I’ve went from 19 stone to 15 stone so it is noticeable. I’ve worked so hard to lose this weight and not even my partner or family have noticed/said anything

Well done you, don’t let this put you off!! I suppose ultimately we lose weight for ourselves, but I agree, it would be nice to get some recognition.

I know so many people taking wli but also know one losing weight due to cancer treatment so I NEVER say anything about weight because you don't know why someone has lost weight.

Also I rarely notice it unless they lost half their body weight just as I rarely notice when someone has got a haircut/colour.

Exactly
colleague could have lost 10 stone and I wouldn’t comment

Exactly, thank you. I guess just a “you’re looking well” would have been nice.

It could also be a case of he loves you at whatever size and it simply doesn't matter to him.

I do think weight is a sensitive subject but I hear you, I am back from maternity on Monday and if no one says I’m looking great or something I’ll be secretly pissed off. Surely that’s just polite to someone coming back from mat leave?!

Might be like my husband. I genuinely think he doesn't see it. He used to say I looked lovely when I was 16 stone and he still says the same now I've lost 6 stone. I'm thinking I'm lucky.

Was about to come on and say just this.

it takes a massive proportion of your body weight before some people start to comment.

family, and close friends first after around 4 stone which is around 4 dress sizes…but other women only comment nearer to 30% weight loss or more…no one wants to call it out inappropriately! As for men? Nowt, except I always, funnily enough, got promotions when I was slimmer.

same as people don’t comment, unless close to you, when you regain weight …sorry but sadly stats indicate it is so hard keeping weight off…even with new fat jabs or gastric surgery.

Best of luck for your return. Haha yeah, maybe I’m just being sensitive. Maybe another 4 stone will do the trick

I would never ever comment on someone's weight, however much they had lost. Probably influenced by my best friend's lifelong eating disorder struggles, but I hate the whole obsession with fat = worse vs thin = better, that way of thinking doesn't sit right with me. It doesn't even indicate good health, people can lose weight for negative reasons too.

@BlueRuggg DH and I had lunch with friends on Sunday and the DW has visibly lost weight - but neither of us said anything about it specifically and both agreed afterwards it might have been perceived as rude. So that may be a big part of it, in terms of general lack of observations.

Maybe you have lost a lot of muscle weight, which does happen with weight loss injections, and you’re still carrying volume in the form of fat and water? It’s possible it doesn’t show hugely.

Ignore cookdmsrt’s sarky comments. Envy is such a sad trait. 🤪

I’ve lost around two stones through changing my habits. No jabs, no diet, just me making an effort to straighten habits out. Three girlfriends have made positive comments but no one else. They reckon it’s because many are scared to discuss jabs or that (more likely) they’re expecting me to put it back in again - which is crux of the whole damned issue really!

I feel the same. I say that as someone who has lost 7.5 stone on Mounjaro.

I know how hard you have worked, unlike at least one other poster on here.

Congratulations on your loss!

It's a shame your partner hasn't noticed, but maybe he has rose-tinted glances of your appearance, like my DH? He has/had no idea of how much weight I had gained and that I had weighed 228lb - which is more than he's ever weighed. I am so lucky that he just adores me, whatever my size.

In the beginning I was so proud telling him that I'd lost 20lb, 30lb, 40lb. When I got to 80lb loss, I think he started to twig, but didn't want to say or embarrass me I stayed quiet from then, just said I was approaching my goal.

I am now at the weight we got married as I lost over 100lb in the end, I'm just too embarrassed to tell him that I lost 3 figures!

I would never, ever comment.

It might imply you didn't look great before. Or perhaps you have hugely complex emotional issues around your weight. Or perhaps youve been ill. Or perhaps you'd then be under huge pressure not to gain the weight back and feel like you've "failed" everyone.

I've lost just a few pounds this year, going from a size 10 (which I've been my whole life) to a size 8, and don't like comments about that, as perhaps I'll go up a dress size again in future and would rather noone noticed either way.

I'd never comment on someone's weight at work, a large weight loss may not be a positive thing so I wouldnt go in with "wow you look great". I'd ignore it, you will obviously mention it if you want to. There's also the stigma of using jabs, I wouldn't want to make anyone feel uncomfortable if the conversation went down that route.

Thank you. I think you’re right about my partner. I think he genuinely doesn’t see it because he loves me no matter what. I guess weight is a sensitive subject for most so I get it.

I think with your partner, it’s probably because he sees you so much that the gradual loss just isn’t easy to spot. With your colleagues, the last time they saw you you were heavily pregnant so of course you’ve lost weight since then. I get how hard it is to lose weight even with WLIs - well done on what you’ve achieved.

Oh dear 😆 what a silly post!

I think a lot of people try not to comment on weight. Especially not after pregnancy when it’s probably hard for them to even remember what you looked like before. You know you’ve lost weight and all that matters is that you feel good about it.

1. Your husband is a dick and a liar.
2. Nobody cares about what you look like.
3. It's rude for someone to comment on someone else's body

I lost 7 or 8 stone before anyone noticed.

When I’d lost 5 stone I went to a big party and because I felt so fantastic I thought everyone would notice my slimmer figure but no one noticed at all. Now I look back at the photos of the party and in retrospect can see that I didn’t look much different at all.

Weight loss jabs tend to target visceral fat first so it will not be visible to others initially.

Congratulations on your amazing loss OP, you’ve done really well! Being on WLI doesn’t mean WL isn’t hard work same as other methods, my journey certainly has been with very slow progress and long stalls. So from one jabber to another here’s a hearty high five 🙌 and a (unmumsnetty not quite feminist) wolf whistle! 🎵

Thank you :). It’s been really hard, the WLI has made it slightly easier as I’m not constantly thinking about food but having a baby whilst trying to fit in exercise and eat properly has been a challenge when they require all of your attention 24/7!