Is 30 too many for a hen do?

[mam1998]

this Is my own fault, I’m very number blind and created a hen group on Facebook and feel like I went overboard inviting people… I didn’t realize how many I actually wound up inviting 🙈

my sister kicked me from the group so it can be a surprise she’s organizing it the only guide I said it I just want a weekend city break abroad.

I feel really bad her having to plan for all these people now, even though she said it’s okay.

my anxiety is in overdrive and I’m just panicking that I have gone way over the top with invites? Has anyone else gone abroad with a big hen do group?

so far 20 is confirmed…

Yes 30, even 20 is too many for abroad. I'm not a fan of abroad hen dos anyway but I would say maximum of about 5 for something like that as otherwise it is too much to ask of people. Too expensive and too hard to organise. 30 would be fine for a fun dinner/ night out/ day activity nearer home though if you were up for changing the plan rather than the guest list?

OMG, 30 hens. Please let me know if it's Madrid in early March - I'll need to cancel my flight🤣

Have fun!

If it was a day/night out locally or near ish that would be fine

for a weekend abroad it’s quite a big group, may be tricky to find accommodation or restaurants etc. Also may be hard to find a weekend everyone can do

Speak to your sis and say if it’s causing big issues then you’re happy to change the plans to something closer to home and easier to coordinate.

Who knows, it may all be fine - you just need to ask your sis to be honest

I don’t think you can uninvite people though

Could you just do something local if you're inviting that many people? I think for an abroad weekend you'd usually only invite your very closest friends?

I mean, it's a lot. 15-30 room bookings in a hotel, booking tables for 30 at dinner and lunches, I'd be worried about actually being abek to fit in anywhere tbh. But it's done now so I'm sure your sis will cope.

Blimey! That’s quite the group! I would run a mile from it and decline - waaaaaay too many people for me - but that’s not to say you won’t have a good time if your F&F are big party people. Logistical nightmare though.

As pps suggested, do a night out locally. If you must go abroad, ask your sister and a couple of closest friends only as a separate thing.

it's a little bit of a lot

If you include partners, that's already 60 guests at your wedding. Not outrageous, but it adds up.

I think for a party it's great, for a fun "party house" weekend you can book, it's fine.

For a trip abroad it sounds like a lot, and unnecessary efforts to organise and manage.

Erm I’d say it was too many! But so many will drop out once costs begin to escalate and i
pity the person doing the booking because those costs will likely fall onto them depending on how they’re organising it.
I think you’ve gotten rather too carried away and made a big mistake personally but I don’t know your friends so maybe they’ll all come good and no one drops out once money is required.
30 would be fine if you were hiring out a room in a restaurant or a VIP area in a bar somewhere (do those even still exist anymore?!) and it was all fairly local with the expectation that everyone was going to book their own travel and hotel rooms overnight or whatever but with 30 going abroad - there are a lot of risks. Childcare falling through, leave not being granted, a few passports need renewing so that’s an extra cost, transport when you get to wherever you’re going… I’d be bowing out of this one immediately if I’d been added to this group, and not leaving it a minute longer to do so either! Sorry!

Five?!

30 is absolutely fine. The MoH tells the hens which hotel is being booked and which flights to get and they can crack on.

Organising is ‘we are meeting at X pub at 4pm’ or ‘we are going to X restaurant at 6pm’.

If there’s more planned then ‘we are booking this boat trip on this day for those who want to do that’.

It’s completely fine.

The more the merrier for going abroad.

Not sure why people are coming on to explain that they wouldn’t want to go. 20 of them clearly do want to go.

I honestly wouldn’t give it a second thought OP.

I too would be super surprised if as many people actually attended , saying oh yeah that sounds great isn’t the same as paying your money to secure the place , but good luck! My brother had 25 go abroad for his stag , but in my experience boys/men seem to have more , his for example included his entire football team 🙈

I’m organising a weekend city break abroad for 28 people. It’s definitely doable just try to pick more hen centred places and more English speaking helps. Ours isn’t a typical hen party location and we’re managing fine

I wouldn't worry about it. Most will pull out any large group I've been in like that for things especially abroad has resulted in about 50% if not more saying yes then it nor going any further. 🤣

Sorry wrong thread

I’ve been on a hen do abroad and there was about 15/20 of us and it was a brilliant laugh and I’d definitely do it again 😁 Enjoy 💃

30 abroad won't be enjoyable. How will you all eat together? How will actually spend quality time chatting to individuals? You'll forever be waiting on people to run to loo, get down from their rooms, meeting points etc. You'll end up splitting into groups, with people feeling like second best if they're not with the bride, and there will be lots of dramas and fallouts. Sounds incredibly stressful.you

don't panic numbers will drop when cost is mentioned. Only your true friends might consider coming. Hens abroad are so expensive I wouldn't go to one

30 is the perfect number to start a group chat with. It will cause all of them loads of stress and that will wittle it down for you to a reasonable number and you’ll have a great hen. Feel bad for your sister though 😂

So op should now turn around and uninvite the 20 peolle who want to come and declare she's now only going with 5?

It will be fine!

people who are saying 5… what?! Five is fine,
but so is 20! I can’t imagine all 30 will go, but even that’s doable. Hotel rather than Airbnb. Extra large room for the hen so she can host pre drinks etc!

It will be impossible for a weekend abroad. It’s not as simple as ‘tell them the flight dates and where and let them get on with it’. Organising accommodation close to each other, restaurant bookings, bars, activities every day will be a logistical nightmare. For that many you will need to pay deposits etc and guaranteed people will Drop out leaving the organiser holding the bill.
No matter what the organiser will be expected to pick up the minefield and cost of people dropping out, people missing flights, can’t afford accommodation, want to do their own thing and arranging meet up places, answering a million questions, taxis, transfers… oh god it gives me anxiety just thinking about it.
I’ve arranged two abroad hen do’s with 8 in one and 6 in another and I had a breakdown on each of them.
Two got horribly drunk and needed chaperones
One got food poisoning
Several kicked off about venues not catering for their food choices
One hated all the suggestions for activities and sulked
Cliques broke out and we ended up with several groups refusing to do things with others. There were arguments, tears and recriminations.
We were expected to change timings of things to suit people who decided to stay in different locations or get different flights
Never again.

I think you jsit need nicer friends. I've not had this when I've been to abroad hen do with 8 or local ones with 12-20. Everyone just got on with it.

And I agree I wouldn't want to sort it, but I'd ask for a deposit before anything was booked, and quote slightly above expectations.
Literally I'm quoting prices in a week. If you're in I'll need a £100 deposit that day. Then book for whoever has paid by 10pm. And stick to it.

Why would it be more expensive for 30 than for 5? They'd all pay the same individual price. Would actually be cheaper as they'd split the cost of the hen between more.

It's just an invite so nobody's forced to go if out of budget