Is 30 too many for a hen do?

[mam1998]

this Is my own fault, I’m very number blind and created a hen group on Facebook and feel like I went overboard inviting people… I didn’t realize how many I actually wound up inviting 🙈

my sister kicked me from the group so it can be a surprise she’s organizing it the only guide I said it I just want a weekend city break abroad.

I feel really bad her having to plan for all these people now, even though she said it’s okay.

my anxiety is in overdrive and I’m just panicking that I have gone way over the top with invites? Has anyone else gone abroad with a big hen do group?

so far 20 is confirmed…

I couldn't find 30 people I liked enough to invite to a hen!

DD has 35 coming. Not abroad though. Just day events!

I think it would be less challenging if you were going to a resort somewhere like Tenerife or something but a city break could prove difficult. Trying to book bars, restaurants, activities to accommodate those kind of numbers might be tricky.

I’d hate to be tasked with organising it all but if your sister is happy enough taking charge then I wouldn’t worry about it.

You’re ’number-blind’? Wtf is that?

Yes, 30 hens is far too many.

Expecting hens to afford a weekend hen do is ridiculous too

Yes

Why is 30 too many if you have loads of friends? The problem is going abroad. 30 people in a private room here is doable. Or any form of event that can take 30. Lots of choice. Abroad, no.

Why is 30 far too many?

@thetinsoldierobviously it means I’ve just been blind to how many I actually invited until afterwards. And nobody is being forced to go and if someone couldn’t then that’s absolutely fine- chill 😂

Oooff I feel bad for your sister having to organsie for that many people !!

I had multiple breakdowns organising my sister’s hen for 20! It was just a logistical nightmare - even things like taxis were a pain to book and buying in enough food for that many people.

You can’t uninvite people now but I think you should offer to help your sis and ditch the idea of a surprise weekend

It’s fine!! I’ve been on a few like this and had a great time. It’s really not the headache you think it is. People can book their own flights (they’ll probably want to travel from different airports anyway). Either give them a hotel to book or let them know the area so they can pick accommodation that suits them. Find a restaurant with a private room and book that (I assume it will only be for the Saturday night as people will fly back Sunday). Pick an activity like a river cruise/boat trip that includes drinks, etc., or a picnic in the park. People can pick up a sandwich or something for lunch. Where we have been taxis weren’t really needed, but if you do, get people into groups of 4 and use Ubers.

Have you ever tried to book a restaurant/activities for 30? They will want at least 50% deposit I should think and then when hens start dropping out the ops sister will have to sort extra payments/shoulder the costs…I’d run a mile from organising this personally!

People won’t be able to come so I’d invite them. My friends hen do started at 25 and ended up being 19 on the trip because of emergencies.

You get everyone to send her the money BEFORE she books

Yes it is as simple as that. Done it plenty of times.

I know it’s easier said than done, but try to not let your anxiety take over.
I would have been so excited if I’d had that many friends.
Only one friend came to my hen party (nearly twenty years ago) plus two family members.
And only five friends to my actual wedding.
I’d asked so many people but they all said no (was only doing something small and local for the hen party so nothing expensive).
For years it had a massive negative impact on me. I’d realised who my really friends were (I mean, some genuinely couldn’t make it but the rest just couldn’t be bothered) and it left me feel extremely lonely.
Now I have several close friends and everything is good but, honestly, I think the more the merrier. If you have people who want to celebrate with you then embrace it. I wish I’d been in that situation.

Whatever you decide to do, have a great time.

Yes, it’s piss easy. I’ve never been asked for any sort of deposit.

Every restaurant we have booked for the last few months have wanted a deposit if it’s for more than 4 people. It’s the norm round here. (South east)

Okay so after having a melt down I’ve calmed down and reflected and I don’t think it will be as bad as I’ve spiraled it to be, I did speak with my sister first and made sure she truly didn’t mind organizing the hen abroad and she really doesn’t seem to mind. My sister loves planning and loves organizing where yes it sounds stressful but at the same time she’s in her eminent haha 😂 but thanks for the good advice, however I still think she wants to plan accommodation for people? I did suggest just telling people where to book up for but she doesn’t want to do it that way? So I’ve been left out of it and it’s all going to be a surprise xx

@Leapfrog84aw I’m so sorry, I am expecting drop outs as it’s so far away into next year as well, but you do truly learn who our closest are and never in the nicest of ways ❤️

Far too many!!

Least helpful comment ever but if I ruled the world I would make hen and stags illegal. I don't know when it became such a thing but they are tawdry, annoying to be around and invariably cause ructions and dramas. Attention seeking entitlement because i am the star of the show and everyone else must worship at my feel bullshit.Even the names are offensive, it is 2026, why is it ok when things are cancelled for less. Especially when it involves strippers and sex workers. Yuck. Sorry, not my circus I know but Yuck all the same. Ok, feel better now 😀

“I just want a weekend city break abroad.”

So do that with, say, three close friends, and have a hen do with casts of thousands somewhere more manageable. Frankly, thirty at a hen do is lunacy, and I guarantee that if it’s abroad, they won’t all come anyway - they may not even if it’s somewhere in the UK. Frankly I am of the opinion that the whole hen and stag thing has got completely out of hand, and has become hideously expensive for friends who don’t want to cause offence by refusing, but who then resent the bridezilla and the expense they have all been put to.

30 is ridiculous for a weekend aboard.

In her eminent? 😅

For a local night out, fine, but that sounds absolutely horrific trying to get everyone abroad and coordinating everyone once you're there. Will be like herding cats. That won't be enjoyable for anyone. If you want a weekend away, it needs to be a small group. Plus asking everyone to spend that much money. Do something easy and low key with the big group - your poor sister otherwise, I guarantee she does not want to organise that.