My nephew (30) hasn’t invited his grandma to his wedding next year

[WildflowerGardens]

I am a woman whose nephew, who is 30, is getting married next year to his fiancée. He earns a good wage as a software developer.

He and my mother - his grandmother - are on good terms but don’t see each other - she’d love for him to visit but he doesn’t. It’s now emerged that she has only been invited to his wedding RECEPTION next year and not the wedding ceremony

I feel upset about this as my mother is 81 and this could be her last family wedding. It means that she won’t be in any of the family wedding photos - having a snapshot taken at the reception in some dark pub function room pales in comparison.

advice please!

young aunt ? your mother is 81 so I guess you are at least 50 and your nephew is 30 and not mentored by you as he is a software developer...

still no wedding ceremony invite for your mum tho ?

Am I the only one loving @WildflowerGardens responses? 😃

I’m 36. My mother had me at 45. We’re a very healthy, fertile family

If you're all so healthy and fertile, it's unlikely to be your mums last wedding at least. Silver linings.

We’re a very healthy, fertile family is the weirdest flex I've seen on here 😂

Absolutely. I'm rebranding myself as a "young aunt" 😂

He sounds like a dick! A cruel and nasty one. I bet your mother helped look after him occasionally when he was a child, loved him etc. Wow. This would break my mum’s heart.

Not sure why you posted to be honest. You sound such an amazing, fertile, successful, nurturing, hardworking family. Your heads must all be so big. What could possibly have gone wrong that your nephew didn't invite his grandmother to his wedding?

I wonder how many sock puppets there are on this thread.

What is a sock puppet on MN ? as I saw that phrase on a different thread today

Where the same user uses multiple accounts on one thread to pretend to be different people. If you suspect it, you can report.

@Sneel
Thank you.

Altho I may have been here for over a year, I tend to take most people at their word so it wouldn't occur to me that people would do that.

But nobody is talking about going to strangers' wedding.
But you were. You said "Apart from the fact it is quite normal in all the Churches I've been a part of to put something on the notice sheet inviting the members of the Church family to the wedding" You only latterly changed that to an invite from the bride / groom or their parents, and only if they want to invite them.

@PhilippaGeorgiou I haven't changed anything. As per the bit you have quoted.
Does it help if I turn the two parts of the phrase round ? in the Churches... ..... it is quite normal {for the hosts - either the Bride, Groom, them as a couple, or their parents} to put something on the notice sheet, inviting their friend / community to join the service at the Church

I'm not sure which part of this is difficult to understand.
Nor why you think I have changed anything.

I'd be really interested to see the figures for that, as my perception from the weddings I've attended over the last 10 years or so, is that very, very few non-Church goers get married in Churches anymore.

There are so many beautiful venues that are now licensed for weddings, that it has completely cut out the desire from non- Christians to be married in Churches.
As well as seeing this from all the weddings I have been to (including one this week , I have actual evidence from the tiny % of numbers of weddings at our Church, compared with any year in the 1980s.
I am really surprised by your suggestion that the majority of people getting married in church these days do not go to church as it is completely at odds with what I witness.
a) at my own Church
b) amongst the people I know who have got married in the last 10 years or so
c) at my (very local, very beautiful 11th Century) Parish Church which used to have 4 weddings a day on Saturdays throughout the Summer, but can now go for some weeks between having a single wedding.

That is hardly indicative of anything about "community"

Not sure of your point here.
If you aren't an involved member of the Church, and don't consider the congregation to be part of your community, then you wouldn't invite them would you ?

Op, you could offer to give a wedding present to your nephew and his bride - the cost of including Grandma in the full day of celebrations.

Excluding Gran is a very strange way to cut costs.

By law, they would have to have been admitted if they wished to attend. All weddings in England and Wales have, by law, to be open to the public.

By law, the room also has a maximum capacity as per fire regulations.

And part of the licence allowing the church or venue to hold weddings is that they cannot exclude the public.

They also cannot, either legally or practically, admit an unlimited number of people to a room with limited capacity. Not sure which part of this point you're struggling with.

Jesus wept. Of course he should invite his bloody grandmother to the ceremony.

very sad but it sounds like your nephew doesn’t think of his grandmother as a close family member